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50 Ways to Play: BDSM for Nice People Paperback – August 2, 2012

3.8 out of 5 stars 25 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Debra and Don Macleod are the husband-and-wife authors of Lube Jobs: A Woman's Guide to Great Maintenance Sex, Lip Service: A His and Hers Guide to the Art of Oral Sex and Seduction, and The French Maid: And 21  More Naughty Sex Fantasies to Surprise and Arouse Your Man. Their books have been covered widely in newspapers across the country including The New York Times and USA Today and been awarded “Best in Bed” by Women’s Health Magazine. In her various capacities as a marriage and divorce mediator, a couples’ communication and conflict resolution specialist, Debra has helped thousands of couples resolve their problems and improve their relationships. For more information, visit her website debramacleod.com.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Cover

Title Page

Copyright Page

 

Introduction

1. A Red Room of Pleasure & Pain

2. Sexual Domination & Submission

3. Delayed Sexual Gratification

4. Behavioral Restraint & Mind Games

5. Bedroom Bondage & Restraint

6. Japanese Rope Bondage

7. The Ottoman Empire

8. Suspended Sex

9. Hold Me Down

10. Sex & Sensory Deprivation

11. Pain & Pleasure

12. Erotic Spanking

13. Flogging Instruments

14. Love Bites & Scratches

15. Nipple Clamps & Toys

16. Feel the Burn

17. When Ice Is Nice

18. Glass Toys & Temperature Play

19. Talk Dirty to Me

20. The Sounds of Sex

21. A Public Power Play

22. BDSM Rituals

23. What Should I Wear?

24. Voyeurism & Exhibitionism

25. Erotic Humiliation

26. BDSM & Self-Pleasuring

27. Rough Sex & Force Fantasies

28. Orgasm Control

29. A BDSM Sex Toy Box

30. The Power Pull

31. Erotic Electrostimulation

32. Tickling

33. Erotic Torture

34. Bondage Positions

35. Crotch Ropes

36. Sexual Positions & Thrusting Techniques

37. Fetishes

38. BDSM & Cunnilingus, Part I

39. BDSM & Fellatio, Part I

40. BDSM & Cunnilingus, Part II

41. BDSM & Fellatio, Part II

42. Anal Play

43. Anal Sex

44. Sex & Mirrors

45. Pornography

46. Erotica

47. BDSM & Defamiliarization

48. A BDSM (Romantic?) Getaway

49. The Softer, Soapier Side of BDSM

50. Aftercare

About the Authors

Sex is supposed to pack a punch. It’s supposed to take you off guard, make you hold your breath for what might come next, gasp with discovery, quicken your pulse and consume you, mind, body and soul. Sexual desire should make you say and do things that you would never normally say or do, and the severity of physical sensations should paralyze you. Sex should set you on fire, so that an unrecognizable shade of yourself comes alive in the smolder.

Take this pop quiz to see whether your sex life is as body-and-mind-blowing as it should or could be.

Pop Quiz

1. Are you physically aroused by the intensity of your partner’s desire for you?

2. Do you find yourself fantasizing about unorthodox sex acts with your partner?

3. Do you feel physically and emotionally exhausted after sex?

4. Is erotic desire a prevailing theme in your relationship?

5. Do you occasionally feel (pleasant) pain or (exciting) fear during sex?

6. Do you regularly lose yourself in erotic role-playing, restraint or rough sex?

7. Do you imagine being “used” by your partner during sex, or using him/her?

8. Do you use a variety of sexual aids to intensely stimulate all your senses during sex?

9. Does your partner sometimes seem like a different person during sex? Do you?

10. Do you revel in the sexual anticipation of what your partner will do next?

If you or your partner answered “no” to any of these questions, you’re not alone. Many couples feel that sex has lost its erotic impact and, if you’re one of them, it’s time to add a few kinky weapons to your after-dark arsenal. Actually, forget “a few” and add lots of them. Moderation is for sexual puritans. There are fifty thrills and chills in this book, boldly borrowed from the world of BDSM—Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism. These edgy ideas are guaranteed to get the juices flowing and the nerves firing like never before. And despite their deviant reputation, they are essential elements of a healthy sex life, even for nice people like you.

For some reason, romance and gentle lovemaking have a monopoly on mainstream sex. Of course, sex should be loving and meaningful. But that doesn’t mean you always have to stare deeply into each other’s eyes or move as one in the missionary position. Consensual rough-and-tumble sex, with a dose of high-sensory kink and BDSM for good measure, is noticeably absent from many couples’ sex lives, and many partners are unhappy with the vacancy. They complain of bland, routine sex lives and crave something harder and faster, something that consumes them with desire, excitement and exhilaration. They want something that injects an erotic buzz into their everyday life and makes them long for nightfall.

Gentle caresses and candlelight can’t always do that. That is why I never suggest romance movies to “spice up” a love life. I can’t think of anything more predictable. Instead, I recommend horror films. They get the blood pumping and the adrenaline flowing. They make you hold your breath and wait for the ax to fall. They bring energy and excitement into your evening. Think of this book as a horror flick as opposed to a romantic “chick flick.” You and your partner can enjoy it together, without any risk of falling asleep halfway through.

Not too long ago, I had occasion to visit a legal brothel in Nevada on business. I was given a tour of the facilities by a friendly courtesan in high heels and a garter, and several of the working ladies showed me their “bedrooms,” which they were allowed to decorate as they wished. The irresistible appeal of the place became tangible the moment I stepped into these bedrooms.

Each prostitute’s bedroom was decorated in classic bordello style. The walls were painted in solid, bold, deep colors—scarlet red or burgundy, emerald green or deep, deep purple. Almost every king-sized bed had a canopy over it, with sheer fabric flowing down to envelop the square of the bed into an even more private and sensual space. The bedding was satin and the air was fragranced with intoxicating incense. There was absolutely no mistaking what was supposed to happen in those rooms. These ladies were professionals at setting the mood.

Look around your bedroom. What do you see? A laundry hamper full of dirty clothes? An exercise bike in the corner? A pile of bills on the dresser? A laptop on the nightstand? Boring beige walls with cheesy, cheap-feeling flower-print bedding? Chances are, your bedroom couldn’t be a less sexy space if you dragged in the toilet, sat on the lid, and started clipping your toenails in front of the person you’re supposed to be seducing.

It’s time to transform your bland bedroom into a spicy boudoir. Get rid of anything that doesn’t scream sex. Throw caution and those interior design magazines to the wind, and roll some cathouse color onto your walls to instantly create an arousing ambience. Add a canopy over the bed, one that can enclose you and your partner within. Trash those flimsy vertical blinds and hang deeply colored velvet drapes that block every trace of light. Lay a luxurious area rug over that oh-so-functional laminate flooring. It’s a raunchier room already, isn’t it?

Because your new bedroom is pulling double duty as an adult playroom, it should also have an “adult toy box” in which you can hide—under lock and key if necessary—some of your BDSM playthings. Find an old trunk at a garage sale and spray-paint it scarlet red or glossy black. Or find a stiff cardboard box with a lid and wrap it in purple velvet. As you read each way to play, you’ll get ideas of what items you might want to put in this toy box (see #29).

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 112 pages
  • Publisher: TarcherPerigee (August 2, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0399163468
  • ISBN-13: 978-0399163463
  • Product Dimensions: 5 x 0.3 x 7.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 2.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #870,368 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition
I admit it. 50 Shades of Grey, er, inspired me to learn more about the world of BDSM, but I didn't know where to start. Everything else I found seemed either wayy too hardcore or not hardcore enough. 50 Ways to Play is the perfect book for beginners who really want to explore their wild sides- it's very thorough but it's not at all intimidating. I can't wait to try out what I've learned!
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Format: Kindle Edition
This book begins with the husband-and-wife team writing: "Sex is suposed to pack a punch. It's suposed to take you off guard, make you hold your breath for what might come next, gasp with discovery, quicken your pulse and consume you, mind, body and soul." This slim volume certainly packs a punch.

Like a lot of people, I enjoyed FIFTY SHADES OF GREY (and before that series, Anne Rice's SLEEPING BEAUTY trilogy) and it certainly piqued my interest in BDSM. But, frankly, my imagination needed a jump-start when it came to translating fictional erotica into actual bedroom play.

The Macleods cover a wide variety of scenerios from glass toys, nipple clamps, electrostimulation, blindfolds and sensory deprivation, restraints, bondage positions and temperature play to the softer, soapier side of BDSM including lubricants (one kind heats up and another cools down).

I certainly got my moneys worth out of this gem and the 50 chapters got my blood pumping and adrenaline flowing.
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Format: Paperback
I was offered the chance to review a book called 50 Ways to Play: BDSM for Nice People. I thought it might be interesting since my husband and I have played around with BDSM a little bit but never delved very deeply into it. I decided I had better run it by my husband first though, just in case he didn't share my interest in exploring. His response was a very enthusiastic, "Hell Yeah!" so I agreed to do the review.

We received the book and I wasn't expecting much. It's a rather small book, just a bit larger than a regular paperback, and it's right around 100 pages long. How much detail could they really go into in such a small book? My husband and I had a plan going into the review. We would both read it, discuss our thoughts on the book as a whole, discuss the ideas presented in the book, decide if we wanted to try any of those ideas, and then we would get to the fun part of trying those ideas.

I read the book first and then gave it to my husband. It's a quick read and we were each able to finish it in a couple of hours. We both thought it was a very user friendly book and appreciated the small bits of humor that were thrown in. It starts out with the basics and gives easy to understand descriptions of the methods and tools used in BDSM. I liked that everything was presented and it was up to us to pick and choose which things were appealing to us. My husband was happy to see that the authors covered such a wide range of topics. They went from extremely basic concepts all the way through more advanced practices. We agreed that this book would be good for people just discovering BDSM or with only a little bit of experience. We fall into the slightly experienced category so it was great for us.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
On the tail of another "50 Shades" rip off, and haven't we all had enough already? This trite piece attempts to capitalize on the current mania by attempting to instruct newbies in the art of mommy porn play. if any female or male can learn anything new from this work, then they've been hiding in a cave since birth or had their heads in the sand. Such exciting and new things like "temperature play" applying ice to ares of the Body. This is as daring as it gets, and anyone whose read Sidney Shelton, or seen 9 1/2 weeks would be as bored to death, as I was.
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By JC11 on August 15, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This is a great beginner's guide. Written with couples in mind, it delves into both the psychology, and physicality of BDSM play. There are plenty of ideas in here (though a few more would help round it out) to get the beginner's imagination rolling. I highly recommend it!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is entertaining, educating and eye opening. It is a quick read about a sometimes dark subject, but they keep it light and informative. The information provided allows you to decide if it is something you might want to try and there are some great ideas.
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Format: Kindle Edition
Reviewed by Deana
Book provided by NetGalley for review
Review originally posted at Romancing the Book

50 Ways to Play is a great on the surface look at the world of BDSM. For some people this topic is very taboo and for others it is an everyday lifestyle. For people like me who want to know more and are a bit too shy to ask, this book is a great starting point. 50 Ways to Play: BDSM for Nice People is the perfect book to start a new journey which can increase your basic knowledge taking you from reader to partaking.

I thought it was a very user friendly book and enjoyed the small bits of wit and humor that were though out the book. It begins out with the basics and gives easy to understand descriptions of the practices and tools used in BDSM. I liked how everything was presented, allowing the reader to pick and choose which things were appealing without going beyond your own safe area. I was happy to see that the authors covered such a wide range of topics. They went from simple, basic concepts all the way through more advanced practices. I think this book is good for people just discovering BDSM or with only a little bit of experience. Or the people that just want to spice up your love life.

I enjoyed reading this book and learned a few things through reading. You may find it amazing what can be considered a BDSM act!!
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