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The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps Paperback – September 1, 2010
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"We adore this book! It's a comprehensive guide to dealing with the impact of ADHD on your marriage without making either partner wrong..." --Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo, authors of You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!
Ms. Orlov’s book provides what many leave outempathy for both partners." Sari Solden, MS, LMFT, author, Journeys Through ADDulthood
Readers will find a wealth of information and support as well as practical tips, exercises, and stories.” Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo, coauthors, You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!
If you are in a marriage affected by ADHD, this book is a must read for both spouses." Jonathan Scott Halverstadt, LMFT, author, ADD & Romance
From the Inside Flap
Top Customer Reviews
This is the first book that I have been able to find that isn't only about understanding ADHD and the behaviors that tend to be associated with ADHD. It also addresses behaviors that are associated with the nonADHD person in the couple. And that is essential in order for both partners to feel validated, and also in order for each partner to feel empathy for the other.
In the past, when my wife and I have attempted to read other books together - books that were written for couples in which one of the partners has ADHD - my wife always felt so bad that her ADHD behaviors were causing such pain for me that she was unable to continue. She came away feeling that since she was the one with ADHD, she was to blame for all our problems. And in some ways, I actually agreed with her. But because she was feeling so guilty, she wasn't able to take a step back and really see the effect her behaviors were having on me. And so we were stuck.
The ADHD Effect on Marriage, on the other hand, puts the "blame" not just on the ADHD, but also on the nonADHD spouse's very predictable responses to ADHD behaviors, and also on the ADHD spouse's predictable responses to the nonADHD spouse's responses! So both of us are able to more clearly understand how we are each contributing to the dynamic. She can see the effect her behaviors have on me, and perhaps more importantly, I can see the effect my behaviors (in response to her behaviors) are having on her. And ironically, rather that both of us just feeling bad that we are to blame, we actually now feel that we can work together to improve things.Read more ›
My goodness, I thought we might get one or two good things out of this, but it completely changed the way we view our marriage! In our relationship, I am the one with ADHD and my husband has kind of always been one of those people who thinks "everyone is a little bit ADHD because we all spend so much time on computers, etc." We've been married for a little over a year. The first 5 months were a disaster, and then when I stopped taking Adderall things got a lot better (it makes me very irritable). Marriage has still been really rough, though.
As we read the first section "Understanding ADHD in Your Marriage," suddenly everything made so much sense to both of us. Over and over again, the book described our problems perfectly. The author did a GREAT job of describing things from the perspective of the ADHD spouse AND from the perspective of the non-ADHD spouse. There were a couple ideas here that I felt were most helpful: first, there is an example of everything coming to the ADHD spouse at the same level of importance (so, I don't remember perfectly what it said, but it mentioned something important vs. the bright numbers on a radio clock and to those of us with ADHD there isn't a natural prioritization). Second, Orlov describes a concept of time that is "now" and "not now." Both of these concepts were things I could relate to totally, but I had never been able to explain them to my husband in a way that was meaningful.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I am learning so much about my husband's ADHD and it's role in our relationship. I'm confident that with the help of this book and a good tgerapust, our marriage can wirk.Published 18 days ago by Patricia Bascomb
How can anyone not see themselves as on the ADHD spectrum after reading this book? I think it should place some stronger limits on what will be acceptable and what won't in a... Read morePublished 1 month ago by Karen Helmick
Very thorough read regarding the effects of ADHD in Marriage. I enjoyed the different perspectives as I too am in an ADHD/NonADHD relationship. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Andrea
This book is exactly what I've been looking for! My husband has extreme ADHD and it has been a struggle the past few years. The author really knows what she is talking about! Read morePublished 1 month ago by Christopher Smith
Very informative and eye opening for our 38 year marriage. Somewhat difficult to understand at times which requires re-reading...Work to do.Published 1 month ago by Amazon Prime Customer
This book is the best for understanding the dynamics of ADHD and marriage from both sides. The back cover praises
are well deserved - it is not overrated!