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About Crabs: The Definitive Webster Guide Paperback – March 18, 2017
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Paperback, March 18, 2017
The Amazon Book Review
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About the Author
Tim Webster used to sell to wholesaling companies the crab he himself heaved from the deep. It eventually occurred to him that he might do better to buy from his former competitors the crab they were so anxious to get rid of (for a price). He, therefore, formed “Crabco” and invested money in a set of large holding tanks. From there he distributes crab of times, lobster (flown in from back East), far and wide. He has used his local influence first to establish the Fisheries University, F.U. (intended solely to train deck-hands for the crabbing industry) and move latterly the Fisheries University, FU2. The latter “scholarly” institution is broad in scope. It trains Master Mariners, Doctors, Lawyers,Professors and Business dudes of all stripes. He has never spent a day in jail. Margaret Webster recently received her MBAD (Masters of Business Administration Dude from FU2). She is the Chief Financial Officer of Crabco conglomerate. Formerly she was guided in life by her artistic and aesthetic talents. Now she struggles to keep the business afloat and free of incursions from the taxdudes. She daily confronts the existential challenge. Am I better off with Tim or without him (as Tim has lately taken up some expensive foreign travel). Michael Webster defines himself as a musician on the one hand and a Ductmandude on the other. He plays acoustic and electric guitar in a five-person band called “Still Fools”. They do get gigs in Victoria and Vancouver. Almost all their songs are original, but they band can do a fine job spicing up “You are my sunshine”. Tom Webster is a self-described “wharfrat”. Although he has, when the money was rolling in, lived on his own in an apartment, he is currently living at home. At present, he is saving for a live-abroad boat to be tied up at Fisherman’s Wharf. Paul Webster, Tim’s brother, is a back-East journalist of note. He has very little knowledge of crabs or the sea but is not short of artistic talent. He drew the pictures for the original About Crabs. Some of these are reproduced in this version. Chris Webster, Tim’s father, has worked in the mental health field for years. He does though suffer from two fixed delusions. One fixed idea of his is that Tim and Margaret could shut down Crabco and live off the proceeds which will emanate from the publication of this “work”. The other undodgeable notion is that he is a “poet” – witness the exorable rubbish in this volume.
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