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Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence, 2nd Edition Paperback – February 24, 2009

4.4 out of 5 stars 34 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Recommended. Public and academic libraries serving programs with an interest in domestic violence, or those seeking to develop extensive holdings in this area; all levels." - Choice

Review

"[This book] reads like 1,000 Dear Abby letters…fascinating…but it explains the many aspects of domestic violence. It has a wealth of material that could be helpful to professionals who deal with domestic violence." (Dear Abby Abigail Van Buren)

"I am grateful to Philip Cook for writing ^IAbused Men^R. This is a brave book…. [The author] brings to bear in this book his knowledge as a journalist and his evident care and compassion for all victims of domestic violence." (Erin Pizzey,Founder of Chiswick Women's Refuge,Author, Scream Quietly or the Neighbors Will Hear)

"This just might be the volume to get the message across finally that domestic violence is a human problem, not just a gender problem." (R.L. McNeely, Ph.D., J.D. Attorney, Professor of Social Welfare, University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee)

"Very thought-provoking and well researched. [This book] should aid in educating medical professionals regarding this potential diagnosis as well as help shape our legal approach." (Kenneth H. Coleman, M.D. J.D.^LAttorney at Law)

"Thought provoking research which will stimulate further inquiry into human behavior long neglected." (Ronald R. Still, M.S. Chief of Police (Retired), Portland, Oregon)

"Mr. Cook argues persuasively that we may be looking at only half the problem, and we're neglecting the needs of male victims. It also seems clear that much of Mr. Cook's work applies equally to abused people of either gender, and he offers practical suggestions for the abused. His solutions would impact all cases of domestic violence and are well worth our consideration." (Rob Solomon, Licensed Professional Counselor Author, Full-Esteem Ahead)

"Perhaps with this book, Philip Cook can accomplish what academics have for the past 25 years failed to do--to cut through the political rhetoric and finally present the case of abused men as a real social problem. Cook goes beyond the issue of battered males as he sheds incredible insight into the systemic problem of family violence. Perhaps now, couples experiencing violence in their relationships can be helped. His case material sadly brings to life the statistics researchers generate." (Reena Sommer, Ph.D., Assistant Professor, University of Manitoba, Family Counselor)

"I find ^IAbused Men^R most appealing because of the rigorous research upon which the findings are based. There is nothing that is not fully substantiated by data…I appreciate the balance achieved in addressing a topic, usually ignored, in an era of accusations and hysteria that often detracts from the actual aggression and violence that affects domestic relations. This book is a real contribution that will help in the education of all professionals in the field of sociology and mental health." (Stanley G. Sturges, M.D. Medical Director, CareMark Behavioral Health Services)

"Unique. The case materials presented are gripping, and need to be part of the historical and social record. It is a book likely to be helpful to many men, and if action is taken onthe agenda outlined in the final chapter, to our country as a whole." (Murray A. Straus, Ph.D. Co-Director Family Research Laboratory, University of New Hampshire)
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 232 pages
  • Publisher: Praeger; 2 edition (February 24, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0313356718
  • ISBN-13: 978-0313356711
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.6 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #816,763 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover
Congratulations for writing a book on this subject. You may save some lives. I work for a voluntary organisation in the UK called ManKind that helps male victims of domestic violence, as until we set up this chairty last year there was nowhere for abused men to turn. Some of the other reviews here show a major problem we have: wherever we go to try for funding or even charity status we seem to meet people who say: no, abused men don't exist, or that if they do they ask for it, or they enjoy it (when I have received a phone call from a man in tears who has just been stabbed in the arm and thrown out of his (their) home with his (their) two children, I can't believe that people can make this claim), or they should be able to look after themselves. What matters is that being abused, verbally or physically, by someone who you love or who you are in a relationship with, is absolutely terrible, about the worst thing that will happen to anyone unfortunate to experience it. I know because it happened to me last year, out of the blue, but it trapped me and took me to the edge of a cliff. This abusive relationship (I'm 6ft andover 12stone, she's 5ft 4in and 8 stone) left me with more than 100 bruises and cuts, three bust ribs and mental scars that will take years to heal. NEVER ONCE DID I HOLD HER, THREATEN HER OR HIT HER BACK. I believe she is very unwell and was, as is often the case in abusive relationships, hitting someone else (in her mind) when she hit me. Incidentally, ManKind chairty has started to help female abusers as there is nowhere they can turn in the UK either - further evidence that this problem has just been ignored until now.Read more ›
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Format: Hardcover
Philip Cook's Abused Men  is well conceived, well documented, and well written; it is an excellent source book for both perpetrators and victims of domestic violence as well as for  police officers, community leaders, health care providers, family therapists, crisis-line workers, and other helping professionals. Another positive aspect of this book is Cook's  ability to make research findings on male abuse and its consequences accessible and understandable for readers new to the field of domestic violence. The book can serve as an eye opener about the factions, disagreements, and controversy that are part of the issue of domestic violence.
Eugen Lupri, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus of Sociology
The University of Calgary
Calgary, Alberta
Canada
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By A Customer on December 23, 1999
Format: Hardcover
If the woman in your life is out to get you, you must read this book. It is extremely helpful and the only book I know of exclusively on the subject of husband/boyfriend battering by women. The statistics in this book are surprising and the stories of the abused men in this book are its strongest point. This is really a breakthrough book.
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Format: Hardcover
Author Phil Cook does and excellent job of documenting and presenting a logical case that Abused Men (and fathers and their children) by women is very real, large as life, often denied and usually very "hidden" - the proverbial elephant in your back yard. If you ignore and deny it, it won't matter, or "doesn't exist."

An extra pat on the back for the author on making his case for abused men while not discounting the seriousness of domestic violence (DV) against women, and without exaggerating the real amount of violence on either side. It would be fool-hardy to do the opposite, as many authors do, exposing their ignorance, bias, prejudice and even their own abusiveness to the victims of these sensitive issues, where revictimization often comes at the hands of "well-meaning" authors and officials. Though this book is 8 years old it is still very applicable today, as is the excellent and fairly well balanced 25 year old book, "Behind Closed Doors, Domestic Violence in the American Family," quoted by the author.

Had "Abused Men" been written today more could have been included to support the fact that male victims are beyond all doubt no less commonly (and severely) victimized as female victims, despite mis-drawn but often quoted conclusions from some not-so-balanced studies. Examples: The Department of Justice (DOJ) stats which the author quotes from the early 90's have since risen dramatically for male victims, as the eyes of some victim advocates are just starting to open. DOJ stats now concede that men comprise about 35% to 40% of all DV victims (a far shot from the then 8-15%), but closing the reality gap bit by bit. Most balanced and extensive studies reveal that younger women are up to twice as violent as younger men.
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Format: Hardcover
First I must address several grievous mistake in the review written by Detroit velvet. 1. This individual states that it is wrong to say more men than women are abused. That is grossly incorrect. Sociologists and scientists all over have stated time and again that indeed more men than women are abused. 2. This individual further implies that ALL MEN lie about being abused, while it is true that some men are abusive it is ludicrous to make the blanket statement that all men are abusive, thereby liars when caught claiming victimhood. What utter nonsense!

Detroit velvet is in dire need of a reality check. If the men who are abusive can lie claiming abuse then why is it so impossible to assume that women who claim abuse may in turn be lying and in fact are the abuser?

I have to wonder how many women have physically, and mentally abused their male partners then when the partner left claimed the role of the victim instead.

Men don't tell because they face monumental obstructions by authorities and peers. Mentalities such as 'men love it' or 'you deserved it' or 'you're lying' or 'you're such a whimp, suck it up'.

I was kid and had a girl friend who beat and belittled me then would come back claiming she was sorry and loved me so I took her back, time and again finally I had enough and left. She claimed abuse. I NEVER HIT A WOMAN IN MY LIFE - EVER!

Later I had another girl friend while not a hitter was very verbally abusive, after having enough I left, and then another and another, all angry and some hitters.

Then I met my wife, who was very much a hitter, and extremely emotionally abusive. Again I never raised a hand to her or any woman.
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