Accidental Heiress Kindle Edition
|Length: 179 pages||Word Wise: Enabled||Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled|
|Page Flip: Enabled||
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Top customer reviews
The cover: Great styled hair on a cute pink raincoat, with a red London phone booth, which directly reflects a scene detail in the book.
The heroine: Confident in her abilities and experience. Able to adapt in new situations. Perceptive about people and their motivations.
The setting: Lots of different locations and a fantasy of no-limits budget for travel, wardrobe and opportunities.
The parents: Asking too many questions and putting up roadblocks (the way most parents do) would hang up the flow of this story. These parents do not sweat the details.
Here are some plot elements I might have reconsidered.
1. The non-realistic level of 17YO behavior. They are a year under the drinking age in England and a year under the highest possible age of consent in the USA, so, this plot is rigidly law-abiding. They are offered alcoholic drinks and decline. Boy-girl relationship building has no hint of alternate behavior options. At least present the options if you are going to reject or avoid them in the story. Show a way characters can have a conversation about making the decision. When characters share a bed in an unheated ski lodge, show a little warmth, even if they are fully dressed. There are healthy ways for a boy and girl to communicate. Girls need to learn which words to say and read about how to talk to a boy.
2. A prize of $100k . . . Just a few more details. Is it paid out over ten years to bypass U.S. tax laws? Is it direct to her account? Give Maddie a little bit of knowledge and information about how that works. (I think a lump prize of that amount gets taxed at 50%, which pays for two of four years of public university). Let Maddie decide how she wants that money to come to her. Give her an opportunity to learn something about a situation that's unexpected and new.
2.5. Let the aunt's catering business look more impressive. We see sham servers, cash payments, bait and switch menus, poor food quality. I want the aunt to have tighter, cheerleader-captain oversight. She's constantly scrambling with staffing disasters.
3. I like the hero, Rawlings. But I am unfamiliar with his life and world at Oxford -- his classes, his friends, how he spends his time. For a hacker, he does almost no hacking. Rawlings hangs back for the first hour of activity in the book, watching while Maddie struggles with setting up a fold-out table and temporary wall. I want to know him a little better, beyond what he looks like. Females respond to what they hear, I would like to hear more of his own words from him (such as, how does he have access to all this money when he is only 17). Mostly he is sort of an uptight, goal-oriented, increasingly frustrated and panicked scavenger hunter. He shows no remorse or curiosity about leaving exotic spots. I want him to be more present.
4. The game. Interesting. Thought one character might be tracking another's phone (find my iPhone ap). The unusual peach-colored sheets were not explained. Rawlings might have mentioned that they are an element of the Massachusetts Club hunts each year, or something. Is this his third hunt? (Since age 15?)
5. Would like better familiarity with the college application process. It starts junior year. Maddie should know her schools list by September 1. The final deadline for applications is January 1. Even if Maddie does not know what she wants out of college, she will know where her friend Ella is applying, and since that friendship seems to be the dominant detail in her life, it will probably affect where she applies (to the same or nearby schools as Ella's). Or, she may be limited to local schools by the family's budget. Girl readers would benefit from reading about a better-informed high school senior.
6. Length. I would have liked about 50 more pages. This was a short one.
If you enjoyed the first book this is just as good and comes with both cringe worthy and awe moments.
Absolutely Incredibly well-written. The Sherlock-Holmes vibe comes through Brilliantly!