- File Size: 374 KB
- Print Length: 142 pages
- Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
- Publisher: Riverdale Avenue Books (February 13, 2019)
- Publication Date: February 13, 2019
- Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
- Language: English
- ASIN: B07NQS57V8
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Lending: Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,048,833 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Accidentally Gay: The True Love Story When a Wife Becomes a Husband Kindle Edition
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Moving on to what I read: I can't help but feel that both Lucky and Wolsey (on Lucky's blog, this is the name that he uses, ergo, so will I) were lonely, slightly damaged people due to their upbringing, and had a connection of sorts. I think they do love each other, and I'm not sure if it's the telling of the tale or the lack of skill of the couple as narrators of their tale, but they come across as being naive and not that educated, and not considering RL and practicalities and consequences much, though I note that both have had at least a high school level of education. The writing was naive and simplistic, and parts were very, very repetitive and could have done with some proper editing (I have some experience in this area). Lucky seemed to think that him being physically big and tall made him a strong man; as a het woman, I can tell him that it doesn't. There's much more that makes a man. I'm of an ethnic minority and an LGBT ally, and I found the so-called persecution of female-Wolsey by males and by haters of LGBT people hard to believe and to stomach. To hear repeatedly that Wolsey was hassled, was in danger, was at risk and Lucky always had to be the protector, made me wonder how much of this book was reality and how much was perceptions. Maybe I live in a country where we live and let others live, and yes, I know this tale is happening in the USA. The USA that has become a scarier and more unfriendly place for non-het people, for POC, for pretty much anyone who isn't het and Caucasian, but is it really that bad, really that bigoted? Again, perhaps it's the authors' perceptions?
What struck me was not the love the couple professes, but that it came across as if Wolsey had some sort of Svengali-like hold over Lucky and that Lucky couldn't believe his luck at being wanted, and therefore clung to Wolsey in all his incarnations. I apologise if my terminology is unintentionally offensive, but I am trying to explain how this book hit me, in general/layman's terms. Yes, I believe they do love each other, and maybe to the point of blindness about many things. Naivety is what hit me time and time again, overpoweringly so, the more I read.
I wonder if Lucky wasn't as het as he believed. I think perhaps this realisation was entirely dormant until Wolsey transitioned, and Lucky was presented with a fait accompli: if he wanted Wolsey, he'd have to have a husband, not a wife. I do think the couple was reckless with money for Wolsey's transition, especially so as they mention hardship a lot and going without food to be able to provide for Lucky's parents. I was conflicted about Lucky's parents, too: alcoholics, it seems, and drug users, but with unconditional love. Actually, yes, I saw unconditional love from both parents, especially the father, which was heartwarming. I've read Dana Pizzuti's tale of her transition, and she as a medical doctor by training, researched a lot before taking the medical steps, and even then I felt she rushed her medical transition, and yes, she had the connections and the funds. Here, to hear how quickly Wolsey managed to transition made me wonder how much he'd prepared mentally, because I think that part of transitioning is really important. I have a friend who transitioned to female and lived as a woman for five years before de-transitioning, and partly that was due to her body retaining some of its male characteristics and not tolerating hormones, and not getting enough medical support and counselling to help with body dysphoria and depression. There's brief mention that Wolsey didn't have body dysphoria, and this was really refreshing and really healthy to hear. I know another trans person whose partner I'm told is bi, which has helped with their same-sex relationship, but that didn't surface until the partner became involved with the trans person, so that may also be influencing my thoughts on this book. Still, though, Lucky jumped too quickly into making Wolsey's transitioning an actual thing in practice not just in theory and planning.
We're told that Wolsey has medically transitioned completely, with as many surgeries as perhaps a layperson can imagine a trans man having, and we're told that Lucky finds him attractive. Without Lucky elaborating on that assertion, I couldn't believe that. I believe that Lucky's need, and his husband's hold on him, didn't waver, but was this out and out love, or a form of desperation to not lose Wolsey? I may be entirely wrong, but I read Lucky as kind of desperate to belong, to want to have someone to love and call his own. Is that a form of love? After all, love has many forms, does it not?
ARC courtesy of NetGalley and Riverdale Avenue Books, a review was not a requirement.