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The Age of Empathy: Nature's Lessons for a Kinder Society Hardcover – September 22, 2009

by Frans de Waal (Author)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 242 ratings
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"An important and timely message about the biological roots of human kindness."
—Desmond Morris, author of The Naked Ape

Are we our brothers' keepers? Do we have an instinct for compassion? Or are we, as is often assumed, only on earth to serve our own survival and interests? In this thought-provoking book, the acclaimed author of Our Inner Ape examines how empathy comes naturally to a great variety of animals, including humans.

By studying social behaviors in animals, such as bonding, the herd instinct, the forming of trusting alliances, expressions of consolation, and conflict resolution, Frans de Waal demonstrates that animals–and humans–are "preprogrammed to reach out." He has found that chimpanzees care for mates that are wounded by leopards, elephants offer "reassuring rumbles" to youngsters in distress, and dolphins support sick companions near the water's surface to prevent them from drowning. From day one humans have innate sensitivities to faces, bodies, and voices; we've been designed to feel for one another.

De Waal's theory runs counter to the assumption that humans are inherently selfish, which can be seen in the fields of politics, law, and finance, and whichseems to be evidenced by the current greed-driven stock market collapse. But he cites the public's outrage at the U.S. government's lack of empathy in the wake of Hurricane Katrina as a significant shift in perspective–one that helped Barack Obama become elected and ushered in what may well become an Age of Empathy. Through a better understanding of empathy's survival value in evolution, de Waal suggests, we can work together toward a more just society based on a more generous and accurate view of human nature.

Written in layman's prose with a wealth of anecdotes, wry humor, and incisive intelligence, The Age of Empathy is essential reading for our embattled times.
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  1. Print length
    304 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Crown
  4. Publication date
    September 22, 2009
  5. Dimensions
    6.35 x 1.08 x 9.54 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0307407764
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0307407764
  8. See all details
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4.5 out of 5 stars
242 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book engaging and well-written. They find the content insightful and informative, with a clear explanation of the main premise. However, opinions differ on the writing style - some find it lively and witty, while others feel it's repetitive.

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ReadabilityThought provokingWriting style
11 customers mention "Readability"11 positive0 negative

Customers find the book engaging and well-written. They describe it as an enjoyable read and a solid, accessible book.

"...Fair Is Fair, and 7. Crooked Timber.Positives:1. Engaging and well-written book that is accessible to the masses.2...." Read more

"...relatable. The book is written in a down to earth, readable prose that doesn't require a huge amount of..." Read more

"A pleasant book, with many reports of animals behaving nicely toward one another, and descriptions of the survival value of cooperation...." Read more

"Wonderful book exactly what I was looking for in a read...." Read more

9 customers mention "Thought provoking"9 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful and easy to follow. They appreciate the author's mastery of the topic and his careful approach to being grounded in facts. The book is highly informative with provocative ideas and credible observations. It provides an interesting look at human empathy and what it can teach us.

"...that, with his 1,2,3 listing of important points, a delightfully clarifying approach...." Read more

"...Empathy is the perfect topic this holiday season...." Read more

"...The Age of Empathy” is an interesting look at human empathy and what it can teach us how in becoming a better society...." Read more

"...de Waal has produced another book full of lively writing and thoughtful analysis, reminding us of our exquisite animal roots...." Read more

5 customers mention "Writing style"3 positive2 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the writing style. Some find it lively, witty, and relatable, while others feel it's repetitive and the author tends to repeat certain topics.

"Primatologist Frans de Waal has produced another book full of lively writing and thoughtful analysis, reminding us of our exquisite animal roots...." Read more

"...author is a renowned scientist and he means well, but the book is extremely repetitive...." Read more

"...relatable. The book is written in a down to earth, readable prose that doesn't require a huge amount of..." Read more

"...The author tends to repeat some topics." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Mona Gustafson Affinito
    5.0 out of 5 stars SURVIVAL OF THE COOPERATIVE
    Reviewed in the United States on March 25, 2011
    Verified Purchase
    It was 1985 and my friend and colleague, Barbara McEwen, was explaining her research into the roles of vasopressin and oxytocin in memory processing. That's when I learned that "survival of the fittest" (Herbert Spencer's coinage) didn't necessarily mean that the most aggressive wins. In fact, cooperation was often a more successful strategy for survival. I was about to retire from years of professoring and this was news to me!? Assuming that I'm not too atypical, and from my observations since I got smarter, we still need to "get" the message of cooperation. I love deWaal's work for helping to accomplish that.

    How optimistic is his preface! "American politics seems poised for a new epoch that stresses cooperation and social responsibility. The emphasis is on what unites a society, what makes it worth living in, rather than what material wealth we can extract from it. Empathy is the grand theme of our time, ..." On my good days, this thought encourages and comforts me. On my bad days, I take note that the publication date is 2009. It's 2011 and I'm still waiting to see the signs. But then, it often takes a look in the rear view mirror twenty years later to see what was happening as we lived through it.

    So, to the book. I found myself reverting to the academic in the first part, making note of many things to share with my fantasy class. His writing style encouraged that, with his 1,2,3 listing of important points, a delightfully clarifying approach. I relished the reports of gender differences in human empathy, wishing I still had a psychology of women class to share them with. The middle of the book I read like a novel, loving the stories of the animals he and his colleagues have known.

    To one of my clients who exemplifies "unconscious synchrony" I recommended chapter three. Not only did she find that reading helpful, but additionally she enjoyed the whole book. It takes skill to translate scientific observation into a book to be enjoyed by the non-scientist. deWaal certainly accomplished that.

    There are just a few favorites I'd like to point out. I like the point that we don't decide to be empathic - we simply are. In the explanation, I appreciated his use of the rich German word "Einfuhling" as an alternative to "empathy." And I made happy note of the observation that, with age, the empathy levels of men and women seem to converge.

    DeWaal's book is now in the hands of my daughter, to whom I recommended it highly, as I do to anyone reading this.
    9 people found this helpful
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  • Bookish Brunette
    5.0 out of 5 stars Fabulous audiobook!
    Reviewed in the United States on December 9, 2009
    Verified Purchase
    I loved this audiobook and sent it to a family member for Christmas. Empathy is the perfect topic this holiday season.

    The author addresses how empathy is exhibited in monkeys and apes, and sheds light on the original intentions of Adam Smith, the "grandfather of modern economics," who advocated not only an "invisible hand" to guide our markets but also personal ethics and integrity. The book discusses "social darwinism" and how we tend to assume only negative traits should be blamed on human nature, misunderstanding how we evolved as a social species that got ahead, not by merely competing, but also through cooperating and nurturing.

    I'm listening to this audiobook now a second time. :)
    5 people found this helpful
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  • Book Shark
    4.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable and Insightful
    Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    The Age of Empathy: Nature’s Lessons for a Kinder Society By Frans de Waal

    “The Age of Empathy” is an interesting look at human empathy and what it can teach us how in becoming a better society. Dutch/American biologist with a Ph.D. in zoology and ethology and author of Our Inner Ape and others, Frans de Waal, takes the reader on a journey of empathy and its long evolutionary history. This provocative 306-page book includes the following seven chapters: 1. Biology, Left and Right, 2. The Other Darwinism, 3. Bodies Talking to Bodies, 4. Someone Else’s Shoes, 5. The Elephant in the Room, 6. Fair Is Fair, and 7. Crooked Timber.

    Positives:
    1. Engaging and well-written book that is accessible to the masses.
    2. A fascinating topic in the hands of a subject matter expert, empathy.
    3. Entertaining and insightful. The book is easy to follow. Professor de Waal is fair and even handed.
    4. Includes sketches that complement the excellent narrative.
    5. Format is easy to follow. Each chapter begins with a chapter-appropriate quote.
    6. Clearly defines the main premise of this book. “There is both a social and a selfish side to our species. But since the latter is, at least in the West, the dominant assumption, my focus will be on the former: the role of empathy and social connectedness.”
    7. Provocative ideas. “This is not to say that monkeys and apes are moral beings, but I do agree with Darwin, who, in The Descent of Man, saw human morality as derived from animal sociality.” “We descend from a long line of group-living primates with a high degree of interdependence.”
    8. There are some statements that resonate and leave a mark. “At times of danger, we forget what divides us.”
    9. Modern evolutionary theories. “Mutual aid has become a standard ingredient of modern evolutionary theories, albeit not exactly in the way Kropotkin formulated it. Like Darwin, he believed that cooperative groups of animals (or humans) would outperform less cooperative ones. In other words, the ability to function in a group and build a support network is a crucial survival skill.”
    10. The link between empathy and kindness. “There exists in fact no obligatory connection between empathy and kindness, and no animal can afford treating everyone nicely all the time.”
    11. Discusses key concepts such as yawn contagion. “Yawn contagion reflects the power of unconscious synchrony, which is as deeply ingrained in us as in many other animals.”
    12. The importance of mimicry. “Not only do we mimic those with whom we identify, but mimicry in turn strengthens the bond.”
    13. Sympathy versus empathy. “If Yoni were human, we’d speak of sympathy. Sympathy differs from empathy in that it is proactive. Empathy is the process by which we gather information about someone else. Sympathy, in contrast, reflects concern about the other and a desire to improve the other’s situation.”
    14. Examples given of altruism in apes.
    15. Helpful advice. “In 2006, a major health organization advised American business travelers to refrain from finger-pointing altogether, since so many cultures consider it rude.”
    16. The concept of mutualism. “This suggests mutualism and reciprocity as the basis of cooperation, thus placing chimps much closer to humans than to the social insects.”
    17. Income inequality, say what? “He believes that income gaps produce social gaps. They tear societies apart by reducing mutual trust, increasing violence, and inducing anxieties that compromise the immune system of both the rich and the poor. Negative effects permeate the entire society.”
    18. The reality of empathy. “Empathy for “other people” is the one commodity the world is lacking more than oil.”
    19. Evolution in a nutshell. “We may not be able to create a New Man, but we’re remarkably good at modifying the old one.”
    20. Notes and bibliography included.

    Negatives:
    1. In a world looking for black and white conclusions this book offers a lot of gray areas that may not be as satisfying.
    2. Repetitive.
    3. Hard to live up to some of his other books.
    4. Conservative-minded readers may have a tough time dealing with de Waal’s liberal bias.

    In summary, this was a solid accessible book. Professor De Waal succeeds in educating the public on empathy. His mastery of the topic is admirable and is careful to be grounded on the facts and not to oversell an idea. Some minor quibbles like redundancy and many gray areas keep it from scoring higher but overall a worthwhile read. I recommend it!

    Further recommendations: “Are We Smart Enough to Know How Smart Animals Are?”, “The Bonobo and the Atheist”, “Our Inner Ape”, “Chimpanzee Politics” by the same author, “Animal Wise: How We Know Animals Think and Feel” by Virginia Morell, “Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect” by Mathew D. Lieberman, “Beyond Words: What Animals Think and Feel” by Carl Safina, “The Soul of an Octopus” by Sy Montgomery, “Animal Wise” by Virginia Morell, “Zoobiquity” by Barbara Natterson-Horowitz, “The Secret Lives of Bats” by Merlin Tuttle, and “Last Ape Standing” by Chip Walter.
    20 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Bruno S.
    1.0 out of 5 stars Bought as new, received a used book
    Reviewed in Spain on April 13, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    I bought this book as new, and I received it used with written parts in pen and pencil. That's not nice.
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    Bruno S.
    1.0 out of 5 stars Bought as new, received a used book
    Reviewed in Spain on April 13, 2023
    I bought this book as new, and I received it used with written parts in pen and pencil. That's not nice.
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  • Ramon Marin
    2.0 out of 5 stars Páginas soltaram.
    Reviewed in Brazil on October 31, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    Estou indignado com o produto. Não pelo conteúdo que estou adorando, mas pq em menos de uma semana as páginas começaram a soltar. Sou extremamente cuidadoso com meus livros, mas as páginas soltaram do livro! Gostaria de saber como proceder, pois nunca aconteceu comigo. Reforço que o problema não é de conteúdo.
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    Ramon Marin
    2.0 out of 5 stars Páginas soltaram.
    Reviewed in Brazil on October 31, 2020
    Estou indignado com o produto. Não pelo conteúdo que estou adorando, mas pq em menos de uma semana as páginas começaram a soltar. Sou extremamente cuidadoso com meus livros, mas as páginas soltaram do livro! Gostaria de saber como proceder, pois nunca aconteceu comigo. Reforço que o problema não é de conteúdo.
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  • Ellen
    5.0 out of 5 stars bought for gift
    Reviewed in Australia on May 5, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    my father finds it as fascinating as the rest of the authors books
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  • M. Hill
    5.0 out of 5 stars Hopeful, uplifting news about primates
    Reviewed in Canada on January 16, 2014
    Verified Purchase
    de Waal deals with the innate sense of justice chimps and bonobos often do enforce on each other. This was a mood elevator book, yet steal deals with the problems of dysfunctional humans.
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  • reginadeerfield
    5.0 out of 5 stars perfect
    Reviewed in Germany on July 17, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    easy to read and easy to follow the thoughts.
    Gives a complete overview with some exciting examples of the topic
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