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I Ain't Much, Baby--But I'm All I've Got: Turn the Corner into a More Beautiful Life-Five Minutes at a Time Paperback – March 1, 1995
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From the Inside Flap
"What are some of the discoveries I have made? I found I needed people because I needed the love they could give me. I found that love was something I did. I found that the way I showed people my need and love for them was to tell how it was with me in my deepest heart. I came to feel that was the most loving thing I could do for anyone -- tell them how it was with me and share my imperfections with them. When I did this, most people came back at me with what was deep within them. This was love coming to me. And the more I had coming to me, the more I had to give away. I ain't much, baby -- but I'm all I've got."
From his experience comes "I Ain't Much, Baby -- But I'm All I've Got." Lair originally wrote this book for his students, but when it gained widespread popularity he rewrote it for publication. It is a book meant to help people share in the success of finding themselves. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
Where Jess fails is in treating the examples, mostly from his classroom experience, as if the approach he outlines is strictly 'cause and effect.' During the 1970s, when a new generation was exploring being 'open' as opposed to using the conventions of conversation from the past, yet the 'self help' culture had not yet arisen, his approach seemed close to revolutionary. However, reactions other than those of one grateful for love are never presented as possible - and, indeed, one may find that is exactly what one receives.
For example, Jess, whose emphasis on our need to be loved is probably the most honest statement of the century, gives an example of a nurse who phoned her former supervisor, to whom she was grateful, to say 'I love you.' The happy tears of the supervisor are moving - but let no one expect that this was inevitable. Indeed, some people are ill at ease when told of love by close friends.
Regrettably, the current 'self help' culture could spoil the effect of much of Jess's advice. The warmth and affection he suggests could be taken today for a 'violation of boundaries,' or be feared as a technique of manipulation (much as it is not.)
I found Jess's treatment of sex to be wonderfully healthy and refreshing, yet things have changed there as well. He gives an example of a wonderful man he knew who complimented a lady on her figure (saying she had the nicest breasts he had seen), and her wholesome acceptance of this. Indeed, an excellent attitude is shown here - but a man;s compliments on a woman's figure could be
taken, however wrongly, for some sort of harrassment today.
The book can be valuable, but with the caveat that the reader must use it with discrimination.
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