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About Albert J. Bernstein
Born, raised and educated in Virginia, Dr. Al now lives in Oregon with his wife, children, granddaughter, two dogs and three cats.
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Protect yourself from people who take undue advantage and suck the energy out of your life
Emotional Vampires will help you cope effectively with the people in your life that confound you, confuse you, and seem to sap every ounce of your energy. Bestselling author Dr. Al Bernstein shows you how to recognize each vampire type--antisocial, histrionic, narcissists, obsessive-compulsives, paranoids--and deal with them effectively. He uses many examples from the latest news headlines, which will help you distinguish between the types and deepen your understanding of each one.
In response to the daily calls and emails he got about the previous edition of this book, Dr. Al Bernstein has added his advice for dealing with those emotional vampires who come in the shape of spouses and lovers, relatives, and children. Dr. Bernstein shows you how to deal with each vampire type and what you need to do to keep from getting drained.
". . . the most comprehensive guide I have ever read for solving any conceivable trying scenario!"
--Julie Jansen, bestselling author of You Want Me to Work with Who? and I Don't Know What I Want, but I Know It's Not This
You can't stop office madness, but you can stop the madness from getting to you.
Gossipy coworkers, unmanageable managers, and cranky clients have got you pulling your hair out and gnawing your nails down to nubs. From teammates who drop the ball on deadlines to corporate bullies who try to run your show, your work environment can be lethal to your health and your career.
Change Your Reaction, Not Their Actions
When things get crazy, you may not be able to control how others behave, but you can change how you respond. Al Bernstein shows you how understand the situation, how to keep the craziness from bothering you, how to keep things from getting worse, and how you can make them better.
Problems/solutions discussed inside:
- Coworkers who don't like you? Feed them!
- Hidden agendas? Unleash the power of “cc:” mail!
- Unpleasant supervisors? Tell them only what they want to hear!
- Office gossip? Dish out positive gossip about other people!
- Lying coworkers? Buy into their lies and watch what happens!
- And ninety-five more!
In his international bestseller, Dinosaur Brains, psychologist Albert J. Bernstein told readers how to deal with difficult people at work. Now, in a groundbreaking new book, Bernstein tackles a more serious problem that profoundly affects the lives of millions of people: walking time bombs.
How do you help a friend who explodes into panic attacks?
What do you say when a depressed family member bursts into tears?
How do you protect yourself when a stranger blows up in your face?
Too often, our choices make matters worse. But it isn't our fault. All that we feel, and much of what we hear directs us to defend the fearful, comfort the sad, and talk sense to the angry, regardless of the utter futility of these well-meaning actions.
Moment to moment, people with mental disorders stand at the crossroads between getting better and getting worse. For disorders to heal, medicine, psychotherapy, the encouragement of friends, and the kindness of strangers must all point explosive people toward a single direction.
- People with anxiety disorders must turn and face their fear rather than running away
- Depressed people cannot wait to feel better to do the things that will make them feel better
- Angry people have to recognize that anger is something they do, not a reaction to what is done to them
Reaching these goals sometimes requires stunning feats of mind over matter. In How to Deal with Emotionally Explosive People, Dr. Bernstein demonstrates, step by step, how to do them.
DO YOU WORK WITH VAMPIRES? LEARN HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF!
Banish the bloodsuckers from your professional life
Whether it's a coworker, subordinate, or boss, there's at least one emotional vampire in every office. These people try your patience, sap your energy, and add an entirely unhealthy dynamic to workplace productivity. The bestselling author of Emotional Vampires and Dinosaur Brains shows you how to spot and deal effectively with these dysfunctional elements in the workplace:
ANTISOCIALS, who crave excitement in all its forms, including aggression
If your boss or a coworker is trying to push you around . . .
Learn that the most important battle to fight with a bully is in your own mind.
HISTRIONICS, who believe that what it looks like is more important than what it is
If your boss thinks any problem can be solved with a motivational seminar . . .
Learn how to get a manager wannabe to actually manage.
NARCISSISTS, who believe that the universe revolves around them
If your CEO makes Louis XVI look like Gandhi . . .
Learn techniques that diplomats have used throughout history to teach infantile monarchs to act like grown-ups.
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVES, who can't seem to see the forest for the trees
If there is absolutely no task that your boss considers too small to micromanage . . .
Learn to be a Control-Freak Whisperer by seeing your boss's fear rather than your own irritation.
PARANOIDS, who think they've found the simple truths that explain everything
If you work in a place where you can't get ahead unless you drink the Kool-Aid . . .
Learn how to recognize a toxic belief system before it poisons you.
VAMPIRE CULTURES: when vampires get promoted to positions of power, they remake organizations in their own image . . .
Learn the 15 warning signs that tell you to get out before sunset.
PRAISE FOR EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES:
"We love so much about this book! A great complement to Dealing with People You Can't Stand, it goes beyond dealing with the merely difficult behavior to the truly pathological. Bernstein offers believable examples and useful descriptions. This is the book to recommend when the topic of truly horrible behavior comes up!" -- Dr. Rick Kirschner and Dr. Rick Brinkman, authors of the international bestseller Dealing with People You Can't Stand
"This book equips individuals with the tools to identify and defend against a wide array of emotional vampires at work. It offers well-developed tactics for navigating the most difficult people in any organization." -- Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster, bestselling authors of Working with You Is Killing Me and Mean Girls at Work
"It's amazing how one manipulative, territorial, or otherwise self-serving boss or employee can make the lives of everyone around miserable. In Emotional Vampires at Work, Albert Bernstein offers concrete, step-by-step guidance to manage life around these misfits.