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All You Can Ever Know: A Memoir Hardcover – October 2, 2018
| Nicole Chung (Author) Find all the books, read about the author, and more. See search results for this author |
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This beloved memoir "is an extraordinary, honest, nuanced and compassionate look at adoption, race in America and families in general" (Jasmine Guillory, Code Switch, NPR)
What does it means to lose your roots—within your culture, within your family—and what happens when you find them?
Nicole Chung was born severely premature, placed for adoption by her Korean parents, and raised by a white family in a sheltered Oregon town. From childhood, she heard the story of her adoption as a comforting, prepackaged myth. She believed that her biological parents had made the ultimate sacrifice in the hope of giving her a better life, that forever feeling slightly out of place was her fate as a transracial adoptee. But as Nicole grew up—facing prejudice her adoptive family couldn’t see, finding her identity as an Asian American and as a writer, becoming ever more curious about where she came from—she wondered if the story she’d been told was the whole truth.
With warmth, candor, and startling insight, Nicole Chung tells of her search for the people who gave her up, which coincided with the birth of her own child. All You Can Ever Know is a profound, moving chronicle of surprising connections and the repercussions of unearthing painful family secrets—vital reading for anyone who has ever struggled to figure out where they belong.
- Print length240 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherCatapult
- Publication dateOctober 2, 2018
- Dimensions6.2 x 0.83 x 9.2 inches
- ISBN-101936787970
- ISBN-13978-1936787975
- Lexile measure990L
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Review
Long-listed for the PEN Open Book Award
Finalist for the ABA Indies Choice Adult Nonfiction Book of the Year Award
A Finalist for the 2019 NAIBA Book of the Year in Nonfiction
Named a Best Book of the Year by The Washington Post, NPR, Time, The Boston Globe, and more
"[A] deeply moving and profound account of [Chung's] life as a Korean American adoptee, as she grows up and strives to understand her identity . . . All You Can Ever Know honors the grand complexity of love, family, and identity, while showing us how these things can save us and break us with devastating clarity and beauty." ―Today
"Chung’s memoir is more than a thoughtful consideration of race and heritage in America. It is the story of sisters finding each other, overcoming bureaucracy, abuse, separation, and time." ―The New Yorker
"Chung’s search for her biological roots . . . has to be one of this year’s finest books, let alone memoirs . . . Chung has literary chops to spare and they’re on full display in descriptions of her need, pain and bravery." ―The Washington Post
"The book is an extraordinary, honest, nuanced and compassionate look at adoption, race in America and families in general. It's also such an engaging read. I stayed up way too late one night reading it because the story just pulled me in. I read it months ago, and I still think about it and quote some of the lines in this book at least weekly." ―Jasmine Guillory, Code Switch, NPR
" Revisits her coming of age with a deep melancholy, favoring clarity over sentimentality . . . Chung emotionally relays her journey to becoming a writer―her path of negotiating and asserting her identity―and to learning about her birth family’s rather traumatic past. Yet her empathetic, graceful prose shines brightest when she casts her gaze elsewhere: on her adoptive parents―their warmth and their secrets, their struggle to talk about race―or on her birth sister, Cindy, who opens Chung’s eyes in adulthood, while similarly trying to find herself. Through them, Chung reveals a family story of heartbreaking truth―personal in its detail, universal in its complexity." ―Entertainment Weekly
"The honesty with which Chung grapples with this kind of racial erasure is a hallmark of her stunning debut memoir, a book that confronts enormous pain with precision, clarity, and grace . . . In addition to being deeply thoughtful and moving, the book is a fiercely compelling page-turner . . . But what shines through this beautiful book is her clear-eyed compassion for all her relations, her powerful desire for connection, her bold pursuit of her own identity, and the sheer creative energy it took to build her own family tree, to 'discover and tell another kind of story.'" ―The Boston Globe
" A landmark in the literature of adoption, and will be of enduring value to people looking for advice about raising a child of a different race." ―Marion Winik, Critical Mass: The Blog of the National Book Critics Circle Board of Directors
"A tender, unsentimental memoir . . . All You Can Ever Know has the patient pacing of a mystery and the philosophical heft of a skeptic’s undertaking." ―Newsday
"What gives All You Can Ever Know its power is the emotional honesty in every line, essential to the telling of a story so personal . . . All You Can Ever Know, sometimes painfully and always beautifully, explores what it means to be adopted, to be a different race from the family you grew up in, and to later create a family of your own." ―The Seattle Times
"Chung’s dynamic prose tackles identity and the forces that shape it . . . What Chung painstakingly unearths about her birth family is thrilling and unsettling, and her articulation of her findings averts tropish feel-good stereotypes. Here, the open wound at the heart of this exquisite narrative heals slightly skewed, exactly as it should." ―Star Tribune (Minneapolis)
"Raw, open, forthright, Chung’s personal odyssey is an intimate journey toward self-understanding and acceptance." ―The Christian Science Monitor
"This touching memoir explores issues of identity, racism, motherhood, and sisterhood with eloquence and grace. Highly recommended." ―Library Journal (starred review)
"[A] stunning memoir . . . Chung’s writing is vibrant and provocative as she explores her complicated feelings about her transracial adoption (which she 'loved and hated in equal measure') and the importance of knowing where one comes from." ―Publishers Weekly (starred review)
"Highly compelling for its depiction of a woman's struggle to make peace with herself and her identity, the book offers a poignant depiction of the irreducibly complex nature of human motives and family ties. A profound, searching memoir about 'finding the courage to question what I'd always been told.'" ―Kirkus Reviews
"This book moved me to my very core. As in all her writing, Nicole Chung speaks eloquently and honestly about her own personal story, then widens her aperture to illuminate all of us. All You Can Ever Know is full of insights on race, motherhood, and family of all kinds, but what sets it apart is the compassion Chung brings to every facet of her search for identity and every person portrayed in these pages. This book should be required reading for anyone who has ever had, wanted, or found a family―which is to say, everyone." ―Celeste Ng, author of Little Fires Everywhere
“Adoption is neither an incident nor a process―it is an evergreen story of lives growing and resisting simple definitions. Chung’s All You Can Ever Know takes the grammar of adoption―nouns, verbs, and direct object―and with extraordinary integrity remakes them into a narrative about what it means to be a subject. A primary document of witness, Chung writes her memoir as a transracial adoptee with honesty, wisdom, and love. Her search and what she discovers offer us life’s meaning and purpose of the very highest order.” ―Min Jin Lee, author of Free Food for Millionaires and Pachinko
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Catapult (October 2, 2018)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 240 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1936787970
- ISBN-13 : 978-1936787975
- Lexile measure : 990L
- Item Weight : 1.05 pounds
- Dimensions : 6.2 x 0.83 x 9.2 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #132,549 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #96 in Adoption (Books)
- #1,565 in Women's Biographies
- #5,468 in Memoirs (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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About the author

Nicole Chung’s nationally bestselling first book, All You Can Ever Know, is being translated into several languages and was named a Best Book of the Year by over twenty outlets, including NPR, The Washington Post, The Boston Globe, Time, and Library Journal. All You Can Ever Know was a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award, a semifinalist for the PEN Open Book Award, a Barnes & Noble Discover Great New Writers selection, and an Indies Choice Honor Book. Chung is currently a contributing writer at The Atlantic, and her writing has also appeared in The New York Times Magazine, GQ, Slate, The Guardian, and Vulture. Her next book, A Living Remedy, will be published by Ecco/HarperCollins in April 2023.
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Note: As someone who has adopted family members, there were parts of this book that was hard to read. I think we, as those welcoming an adopted child, have intense hopes that we'll always be "enough" for them and they'll never want for anything (related to the adoption). This story and other stories of adoption (especially, maybe, trans-racial adoption) are a useful reminder that we are not the center of the story and our hopes and wishes are not magically going to create a situation where adopted people may have questions, concerns, or longings related to the adoption. I think that knowing this will actually be a benefit to my relationship with my family.
I found this story to be very interesting and important. I have an adopted grandchild, so it was eye opening to see how important it is to help her fill in the blanks as she gets older. The author did a good job of describing her internal struggle with identity and her decisions to truly discover who she is while still acknowledging and respecting her adoptive parents.
I am happy for her that she gained a true sister in her searching. I would have liked to know. Ore about her conversations with her adoptive parents while she was building these relationships with her birth family.
Another aspect that is important in this story is how underlying and unintentional racism played a part in her life. There will be much to discuss at our book club meeting! This was definitely a book worth reading.
In Parts Two and Three, Chung describes searching for her birth parents, finds out that she has siblings, and focuses on her life after college. Part Four explores the catharsis that Chung feels after giving birth to her daughter, Abby and having biological connections to several family members for the first time. Since I don't want to spoil the story for all of you, I'm just giving a brief summary on some of the topics that are brought up in different parts of the book.
I really really loved reading All You Can Ever Know. While there were parts concerning parenthood and reunion that I have yet to identify with, I appreciate Chung's honest candor and her willingness to share her story. It's hard finding transracial adoptee books where the narrative is clear and concise and Chung does a wonderful job with both. I'm thankful that Chung didn't shy away from the difficulty and pain that many adoptees have around the subject of their adoptions and birth stories. While others (including adoptive parents) might see the adoption as a positive and "freeing" narrative in a family's story, adoptees don't always feel the same way. Chung's honesty throughout the book was refreshing to read. I felt like another adoptee knew how I felt and understood some of the personal turmoil that I’ve had growing as an adoptee in a way that I haven’t been able to share with anyone else.
-KW//TheAdopteeReads.com











