Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.

  • Apple
  • Android
  • Windows Phone
  • Android

To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.

  • List Price: $16.99
  • Save: $3.62 (21%)
FREE Shipping on orders with at least $25 of books.
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.
Allies in Healing: When t... has been added to your Cart
FREE Shipping on orders over $25.
Used: Very Good | Details
Sold by Orion LLC
Condition: Used: Very Good
Comment: .
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 3 images

Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child Paperback – September 11, 1991

4.3 out of 5 stars 85 customer reviews

See all 6 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Price
New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Paperback
"Please retry"
$13.37
$4.37 $0.01

Get a FREE Amazon Echo with The Princeton Review
Subscribe to the Self-Paced Study Course for SAT and prep whenever you want. Learn more
$13.37 FREE Shipping on orders with at least $25 of books. In Stock. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.
click to open popover

Frequently Bought Together

  • Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child
  • +
  • The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, 20th Anniversary Edition
  • +
  • The Courage to Heal Workbook: A Guide for Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
Total price: $49.99
Buy the selected items together


Editorial Reviews

Review

"Partners can now feel supported and guided in their quest for healing--for themselves and for those they love and cherish."--Dan Sexton, Childhelp, U.S.A

About the Author

Laura Davis is the author of The Courage to Heal Workbook, Allies in Healing, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, and I Thought We'd Never Speak Again. She teaches writing and lives with her family in Santa Cruz, California.

If you buy a new print edition of this book (or purchased one in the past), you can buy the Kindle edition for only $2.99 (Save 57%). Print edition purchase must be sold by Amazon. Learn more.
For thousands of qualifying books, your past, present, and future print-edition purchases now lets you buy the Kindle edition for $2.99 or less. (Textbooks available for $9.99 or less.)
  • Thousands of books are eligible, including current and former best sellers.
  • Look for the Kindle MatchBook icon on print and Kindle book detail pages of qualifying books. You can also see more Kindle MatchBook titles here or look up all of your Kindle MatchBook titles here.
  • Read the Kindle edition on any Kindle device or with a free Kindle Reading App.
  • Print edition must be purchased new and sold by Amazon.com.
  • Gifting of the Kindle edition at the Kindle MatchBook price is not available.
Learn more about Kindle MatchBook.


The latest book club pick from Oprah
"The Underground Railroad" by Colson Whitehead is a magnificent novel chronicling a young slave's adventures as she makes a desperate bid for freedom in the antebellum South. See more

Product Details

  • Paperback: 368 pages
  • Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; 1 edition (September 11, 1991)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060968834
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060968830
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.9 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (85 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #70,519 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
As a survivor of child sexual abuse, I am grateful that Laura Davis complied all the information from her workshops for partners into this book. It should be required reading for anyone in a relationship with a survivor. There are so few resources for partners and the survivor can't explain it all. Healing is a two person job when you're in a relationship.
The question and answer format makes it very user friendly. Read it cover to cover, or just pick it up when you feel puzzled.
As the author suggests, I read it first and found that it gave me words to explain some topics that I thought I'd never be able to express. Sharing this book with my fiance was not easy. But it drew us closer together and opened the door for wonderfully insightful discussion. It also gave me insight into what it is like for someone in a relationship with me. I learned to be more patient and compassionate. Understanding the after effects of childhood molestation are not simple or easy, not just for me, but also for my partner.
I love that Davis very forthrightly says that while not every relationship will thrive, there are wonderful benefits to being with a survivor. The partner is encouraged NOT to rescue or "fix" but rather to respect and grow with the survivor, perhaps even getting more in touch with their own wounded inner child and most importantly to get support for themselves.
For anyone who is an ally of a survivor, this should be in your collection for sure! I turn to it again and again just as I do my now ragged copy of The Courage to Heal. It is not for the timid however. One should be serious about their relationship before sharing this book.
Comment 83 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Paperback
This book has been a real life-saver in helping me cope as the partner of a sexual abuse survivor. It's full of practical advice and written in a question-and-answer format, making it easy to dip into and find what you need. I'm baffled by some of the reviews which suggest this book tells you to give the survivor whatever s/he asks for. I suspect those reviewers have read the title and very little else, because the book strongly emphasises the fact that partners have needs too and gives advice on how to communicate and meet those needs, set boundaries, and take care of yourself during times of crisis - as well as decide whether you want to stay in the relationship at all. Highly recommended.
Comment 66 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Paperback
I completely disagree with some of the reviews of this book. I found it to be extremely helpful and informative. It helped me to better understand why my husband (a survivor) feels and acts the way he does. I was hesitant to buy this book based on the most recent reviews, and I'm glad I finally decided to read it for myself. It IN NO WAY advocates giving the survivor total control! What the book clearly states is that you have to be supportive during the healing process, that you're needs ARE just as important as the survivors, and that it's OK if you are unable or unwilling to ride out the storm. This book shows that it is a great deal of work to be a partner of a survivor, and that, if you are willing to commit yourself to the relationship no matter what, you will find that it was worth the turmoil to have a truly intimate connection with eachother. But the book also states that you have every right to be in a healthy, happy, fulfilling relationship RIGHT NOW, and if you don't want to make an indefinite commitment to the healing process, IT'S OK TO WALK AWAY! If you are looking for someone to tell you the survivor should "put out" every once in a while just to please you, then you are being very shortsighted and selfish...but if you want to see the survivor HEAL so that you can BOTH finally enjoy a healthy, satisfying sex life together FOR YEARS TO COME, then I highly recommend this book!
4 Comments 47 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
By A Customer on November 8, 1999
Format: Paperback
My partner and I read this book together. He found it extremly helpful and we learned more about each other and sexual abuse. It helped him understand that other people struggled like he has. We found our relationship imporved a great deal after reading this book.
Comment 29 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Paperback
This book was suggested to me by my husband's counselor. The format is easy to read, no plowing through chapter by chapter. Remember though, this was written by a survivor. There is some very good advice for partners but it seems geared towards accomodating the survivor and not addressing the needs of the partner.
It is a good book, if your partner is well into the healing process. I don't recommend this book if your partner has just begun healing. If they've just started healing, read this as a companion book to Ken Graber's _Ghosts in the Bedroom_. I found some of the sections in _Allies in Healing_ helpful and enlightening. But when I got to the sections dealing with sex my heart sank. To be told to get used to being a nun/monk is more than a little disheartening.
11 Comments 57 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Paperback
A very useful book, but it also emphasizes/idealizes the fact that these are one sided relationships, and that you are involved with a person who has an enormous difficulty becoming close with or identifying with others. It provided me with the clarity to see that at least the relationship I was in was not working, and that my partner would never realize my sacrifices in the name of "our" life, nor be in a position to reciprocate until she could trust me. The diservice this book does to the partner is it seems to downplay the frustration and rage that partners clearly expressed. This is an *extremely* difficult relationship to both be in and walk away from, and the author does not seem to address the anguish of the partner, only how the partner can stuff his/her feelings in the interest of helping the recovering partner get along. One fulfilled partner does not a relationship make, and a 5 year payoff is not guaranteed.
Comment 61 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse

Most Recent Customer Reviews

Set up an Amazon Giveaway

Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child
Amazon Giveaway allows you to run promotional giveaways in order to create buzz, reward your audience, and attract new followers and customers. Learn more about Amazon Giveaway
This item: Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child

Pages with Related Products. See and discover other items: conflict