Buying Options

Digital List Price: $13.56
Kindle Price: $7.99

Save $5.57 (41%)

These promotions will be applied to this item:

Some promotions may be combined; others are not eligible to be combined with other offers. For details, please see the Terms & Conditions associated with these promotions.

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

Buy for others

Give as a gift or purchase for a team or group.Learn more

Buying and sending eBooks to others


Select quantity
Buy and send eBooks
Recipients can read on any device

Additional gift options are available when buying one eBook at a time.  Learn more


These ebooks can only be redeemed by recipients in the US. Redemption links and eBooks cannot be resold.

Quantity: 
This item has a maximum order quantity limit.

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

<Embed>
Kindle App Ad
Loading your book clubs
There was a problem loading your book clubs. Please try again.
Not in a club? Learn more
Amazon book clubs early access

Join or create book clubs

Choose books together

Track your books
Bring your club to Amazon Book Clubs, start a new book club and invite your friends to join, or find a club that’s right for you for free.
Alphabet of Manliness (revised and updated) by [Maddox, Angelo Vildasol, Bryan Douglas]

Follow the Author

Something went wrong. Please try your request again later.


Alphabet of Manliness (revised and updated) Kindle Edition

4.5 out of 5 stars 488 ratings

See all formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Price
New from Used from
Kindle
$7.99

Length: 220 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
Page Flip: Enabled
click to open popover

Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.

  • Apple
    Apple
  • Android
    Android
  • Windows Phone
    Windows Phone
  • Click here to download from Amazon appstore
    Android

To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.

kcpAppSendButton
Amazon Business : For business-only pricing, quantity discounts and FREE Shipping. Register a free business account

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Lumberjacks, pirates, and Chuck Norris all agree that there is but one arbiter of manliness, and he has but one name: Maddox. The longtime proprietor of the absurdly popular website, The Best Page in the Universe, Maddox has thoughtfully collected his vast masculine wisdom for the first time in a useful reference work, The Alphabet of Manliness. Since men of course communicate with others only under duress, this book may be the sole resource for those starved for answers about basic manly subjects such as urinal etiquette, road rage, and beef jerky.

We thought that Neil Strauss, who chronicled his own transformation from "half a man" to a "Master Pickup Artist" in the one-of-a-kind bestseller, The Game, might be the perfect expert to assess Maddox's guide, and indeed, he came through with the sharpest take we've yet seen on the book, which you can read below.


Guest Reviewer: Neil Strauss

Over the past decade, Neil Strauss, former pop music critic for The New York Times, has established himself as the go-to guy for diarists of decadence, collaborating with rockers Marilyn Manson, Mötley Crüe (on the instant trash classic, The Dirt), and Dave Navarro, as well as porn star Jenna Jameson, on a series of witty and frank tales of celebrity excess. And then he stepped out on his own with one of our top-selling books of 2005, The Game, his bizarre, hilarious, and surprisingly uplifting memoir of joining a secret society of "Master Pickup Artists." Keep your eye out: he has many more smart and shocking projects on the way.

I am fully convinced after reading the entire A-Z of The Alphabet of Manliness that the author of its 26 essays, Maddox, is a nerd. And not just because he correctly alphabetizes the entries, but because he can recite the names of every Castlevania game, talks about hacking and IP addresses and various mathematical theorems, and has just spent way too much time analyzing in minute detail every aspect of the penis, its functions, and its influence on the male brain. However, Maddox's lack of bulging biceps may actually be a positive thing. Because having him become the symbol and policy-maker of all things alpha male just may be one of the most subversive byproducts of the Internet since file-sharing.

If you are new to the world of Maddox and unfamiliar with his website www.thebestpageintheuniverse.com, here's how you will react to the book: When you read the dedication--"to the love of my life, my soul mate, and the greatest person in the world: me"--you will think for a moment that you have encountered one of the most unlikable narcissists in the world. When he calls a woman a "bitch" on page 2, you may actually begin to hate him. But if you stick with it, by the time you get to the middle of the book and are fully immersed in his over-active, over-systematic, testosterone-addled imagination, you will begin to realize that Maddox just may be the Andy Kaufman of his time, in possession of the driest wit you've ever encountered. The middle of the book also happens to be the home of Maddox's finest essays. In his contribution to the geek canon of Chuck Norris worship, he spuriously notes that Norris uses hippies as firewood, intercepts letters to Santa Claus to use as toilet paper, and eats "bread, cheese, some tomato paste and a handful of basil, which sounds like pizza, but it's not because Chuck Norris doesn't want to give the Italians the credit."

In general, there are two types of humor in this book: things that are funny because they're wrong ("a pirate's semen is indestructible") and things that are funny because they're right (his entire essay on urinal etiquette).

By the time you get to his views on the quickie, in which he describes a sexual encounter with his girlfriend that involves her never showing up and him passing out drunk and getting robbed, you may be bookmarking his website. And by the time you turn to the last page, you'll be flipping back to the first, reading it again and looking for the jokes you missed because you were too busy being shocked, offended, and slightly titillated. In short, The Alphabet of Manliness just may be one of the smartest paeans to stupidity ever written. --Neil Strauss


What's more manly than crushing a can against your eye, Maddox-style? Mastered that advanced skill? Move on to Maddox's short quiz below, prepared exclusively for Amazon.com, and find out whether you might be one of the new breed of men, the "hetrosexual."

Straight Is the New Gay

by Maddox

In a world where metrosexuals--stylish, well-groomed, and sharply dressed men--have taken the center stage in defining the new masculinity, small pockets of men are starting to emerge, rebelling against the status quo. This new breed of man has rejected a lifestyle of wine tasting, pedicures, and excessive cultural awareness (i.e., any cultural awareness). This newly born response to metrosexuality is gaining momentum like never before, calling back to a day when men proudly wore plaid, ate liver and onions, and smelled like motor oil by choice. This modern man has come to be known simply as: the hetrosexual.

Hetrosexual men aren't afraid embrace their masculinity. They eat, drink, and sleep like real men: fully engorged. There's no such thing as a "fashion faux-pas" in the world of hetrosexuality. In fact, even the use of the phrase "faux-pas" draws the ire of the hetrosexual man in the form of beatings and social isolation (preferably both). These are men who refuse to be pigeonholed into the constraints of sexual ambiguity, and gladly welcome every opportunity to crotch-wrestle a hot babe. Hetrosexuals are making it cool to be straight again; straight is the new gay.

Think you might be a hetrosexual? Take the following quiz to find out:

1. How much should you tip a hairstylist?
A) 10%
B) 15%
C) 20%
If you answered, you're wrong. Hetrosexuals don't go to hair stylists.

2. Cologne?
A) Yes
B) No
The correct answer is B) No. Acceptable fragrances for men are: sweat, grease, rum, or some combination thereof.

3. Which language do you speak?
A) French
B) English
C) Both
D) Neither
The answer is B) English. French is the language of love, and men don't love anything. At best, there are varying degrees of "like," and even then, men don't like anything that much.

4. When dining at restaurant, you should
A) Push aside your friends and wrestle over the best seat
B) Wait until the maitre d' seats you
C) What's a maitre d'?
The correct answer is A and C. A, because if you don't secure the best spot at the table, you may find yourself in the position of having to engage in small talk with your guest. And C, because of the answer to question 3 above.

If you answered all of the questions correctly, congratulations: you are the winner. The important thing to keep in mind is that you are a man (unless you are not), and nobody can take that away from you.

--This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

About the Author

MADDOX is a native Utahn and the visionary author of The Best Page in the Universe. Once a lowly programmer for a telemarketing company, he now stands as a specimen of sheer masculinity and chiseled good looks. When he’s not found writing his own biographies in third person, he can be found writing articles for his website at: www.thebestpageintheuniverse.com. --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

Product details

  • File size : 5262 KB
  • Publication date : August 31, 2009
  • Print length : 220 pages
  • Publisher : Citadel Press (August 31, 2009)
  • Word Wise : Enabled
  • X-Ray : Not Enabled
  • Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
  • Page numbers source ISBN : 080652720X
  • Text-to-Speech : Enabled
  • Language: : English
  • ASIN : B002NGBOWW
  • Screen Reader : Supported
  • Lending : Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 out of 5 stars 488 ratings

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
488 global ratings
How are ratings calculated?

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on August 6, 2019
Verified Purchase
2 people found this helpful
Comment Report abuse
Reviewed in the United States on May 13, 2020
Verified Purchase
Reviewed in the United States on February 12, 2010
Verified Purchase
3 people found this helpful
Comment Report abuse
Reviewed in the United States on January 27, 2015
Verified Purchase
One person found this helpful
Comment Report abuse
Reviewed in the United States on December 24, 2012
Verified Purchase
Reviewed in the United States on November 20, 2007
Verified Purchase
3 people found this helpful
Comment Report abuse
Reviewed in the United States on March 1, 2009
Verified Purchase
Reviewed in the United States on April 28, 2019
Verified Purchase

Top reviews from other countries

Raystand86
1.0 out of 5 stars Author himself says don't read this book.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 9, 2017
Verified Purchase
6 people found this helpful
Report abuse
Orsolya Gyorfi
4.0 out of 5 stars First one came in a jiffy-bag and in good time. Bought it for my partner and he ...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 3, 2015
Verified Purchase
John A Christian
5.0 out of 5 stars like me, enjoyed every single of page of this ...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 12, 2018
Verified Purchase
Marty Slevin
5.0 out of 5 stars was limp and useless. I was sad
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 26, 2016
Verified Purchase
Ellie
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 13, 2019
Verified Purchase