- Paperback: 240 pages
- Publisher: Perigee Trade (March 1, 2005)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0399530665
- ISBN-13: 978-0399530661
- Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.6 x 7.9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces
- Average Customer Review: 38 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,094,339 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Always Talk to Strangers: 3 Simple Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life Paperback – March 1, 2005
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From Publishers Weekly
According to the 2000 census, there are 82 million single adults in the United States. Why, then, do so many have such a difficult time finding a partner? The problem, Wygant contends, is that too many people are "Passive Waiters," who lazily wait for love to arrive while, everyday, opportunities are passing them by. A dating coach billed as the "Dr. Phil for the single set," Wygant offers a sensible book that deconstructs the "myths" that contribute to this mentality (i.e., that everyone is "entitled" to love; that "love is fate"; that "men are supposed to make the first move"; etc.) and gives singles advice on how to achieve a new sense of self and improve their perspective on dating. He walks readers through a mental and physical makeover, complete with checklists that include tips on personal hygiene and overcoming dating anxiety. Then he discusses all types of dating scenarios, from blind dating to Internet dating. He even suggests out-of-the-ordinary places to meet people (gas stations, political campaign rallies, etc.) and guides readers over various hurdles (i.e., how to approach a potential date and how and when to make the first phone call). "Meeting new people to date is easy and fun, and can open up your entire world if you treat it as a journey rather than a chore," Wygant writes. This accessible book, with its practical advice and breezing writing, will help readers take the first step on that journey.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
About the Author
David Wygant's clientele ranges from everyday people to celebrities, actors, and millionaires. He is a ubiquitous radio personality, and has appeared on Dateline, MTV's Made and Sex2k, CBS Good Morning, UPN News, ABC News, Inside Edition, and Blind Date. He has been featured in publications including the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Business Journal, Harper's Bazaar, Marie Claire, and New York. He also lectures at seminars such as The Singles Boot Camp and has recorded a CD series entitled The Pickup Game.
Top customer reviews
At any rate, Wygant's book isn't ground-breaking and that's the prime reason for the four star rating. However, for the remaining stars left, Wygant's book packs as much useful dating advice than most books out there. Always Talk to Strangers provides much common sense such as dressing well, smiling, and not being afraid to talk to people. However, it's the way Wygant goes about all of this that's helpful since many of us weren't born with common sense or taught half of these truths in junior high.
For me, the personal grooming/hygiene sections are extremely self-explanatory and for me useless. Sadly enough, I have more than a few friends that could take a solid look at this section.
Among the most helpful sections are where to meet women, props to use in conversation, and varying techniques to "close the deal" after you've been talking to a woman for a while. In addition, Wygant poses several different questions that you should ask yourself whenever approaching a woman that you fear rejection from. Furthermore, there are great sections on both internet dating and blind dating that are definitely useful.
Is a majority of this common sense? The first few sections on hygiene, grooming , physical/mental makeover, and dating myths are. However, the rest of the book had a lot of stuff I'd given little thought to or never thought of altogether. If you call that common sense, then so be it. However, most of Wygant's advice has definitely helped improve my perspective on dating/picking up women. For the price of $3-4 on Amazon Marketplace, what have you really got to lose?
I read this book again just a couple of days ago on vacation and my comments remain largely the same. I disagree slightly on the internet portion of it though. I'm no stranger to the online dating game and the fact that David acts like gorgeous women are online in every city is simply not true. It's not true in Houston (one of the BIGGEST cities in the world), anyway. Maybe I'm not in the right age range for online dating yet, but hell I'm 22. How long does one have to wait? At any rate, most of what David says is very spot on in other areas, just don't get too psyched up about his Internet Boot Camp dating ideas.
Oh, the best part about the book is the part where he breaks down various myths that many of us grew up with. You know, how there's that ONE special someone out there for everyone and how you're destined to meet that someone even if you sit at home all night and never approach anyone.
The only minor gripe I have about the book is the physical makeover portion. Everyone who reads it really have to customize what he suggests to fit your own style. I'm not saying that it's useless like some other reviewers but I think in this case the author is really targetting a select demographic. He suggests that you should get several suits and it will ONLY cost as little as $3,500. Well, don't get me wrong, I can afford that now but I certainly know people that can't quite afford that (or prefer not to spend it on that). I know plenty of friends who have met many women without having a wardrobe the author recommends.
Don't let that deter you from getting this book if you are interested in becoming more skilled and confident at making that first move. This is a great book that I highly recommend.
I'm a moderately outgoing guy; I talk to women I meet here and there, but I've had a hard time converting that into "digits" -- i.e. getting phone numbers and actually going out on dates. Well, this book changed all that, or rather it gave me a roadmap to how to change it. I was on a several-year dating slump before I read this book, but since reading it I've been meeting a lot more women than ever before, and getting phone numbers and going out with them as well!
Have you ever had a friend who, when you were out with him, seemed to always run into women he knew, and was always striking up conversations with new women and sometimes going out with them? I had a buddy like that once, but I could never figure out what his secret was. Well, David Wygant is just like that guy, only he has laid it all out for us in simple terms, and then he kicks our collective butt to go DO IT! That is the real value of this book, I think. I've read other self-help/dating books that say you've got to be more outgoing, get out and do things you like (tennis, music, photography, whatever) and you'll meet people, etc. But this kind of vague advice never helped me much, because I never had a script in my head of exactly how to tell if someone was single and possibly interested, how to sense if the conversation was going well or, especially, how to "go for the close." This book gives you examples of what to say and how and when to say it, and this advice is incredibly useful to fall back on when you're there talking to someone of the opposite sex but can't think of what to say to get their phone number or ask them out. Yes, the lines may seem a little contrived or corny, but remember--communication is 75% nonverbal anyway. So just say SOMETHING -- even something corny. If you say it confidently and sincerely, even if you laugh at yourself for saying it, it's better than saying nothing and will probably net you a phone number. Wygant compels us to act -- just start talking to that attractive person of the opposite sex, before your brain's "monkey chatter," as he aptly puts it, can start giving you reasons not to talk.
You can find minor faults in any book, and this is no exception; for example, the fashion guide section is more geared toward your Manhattan bistro than a Tulsa C&W bar; some of the advice is more useful for men than women. But so what? When you read it, you take these things in context. Some other reviewers feel this book doesn't tell you anything that common sense or your Mom didn't already tell you. Well, that may be true. But then why are you still single? :-) Seriously, many times while reading the book I thought to myself, "of course that makes sense, I knew that"; but more often, it would be "of course that makes sense, how come I never thought of that before?!" Even though a lot of this is common sense and staring you right in the face, you can still ignore it or not act on it, and that's where this book is so helpful, in motivating you to actually go out and do what you need to do to meet more people and go on more dates.
Badger & Wendel's negative review were way off in my opinion. The book gives fairly detailed steps to take in Internet dating and, to a lesser extent, blind dating. The physical makeover advice isn't intended to make us all look the same; but you have to meet a certain set of minimum requirements in order for your appearance to be palatable to the opposite sex. I don't think Mr. Wygant even needed to dignify these reviews with a response, but in doing so he has contributed some more good advice to the single population out here. It isn't too often you find someone who wrote a book with the primary purpose not of selling books but of actually helping people. But I think Mr. Wygant has done just that, so for that he deserves thanks as well as 5 stars.