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I Always Want to Be Where I'm Not: Successful Living with ADD and ADHD Paperback – April 30, 2014

by Wes Crenshaw PhD (Author)

110 ratings

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Wes Crenshaw, PhD, Board Certified Couples and Family Psychologist (ABPP), offers thirteen principles for living with ADD and ADHD drawn from twenty-two years of experience and 23,000 hours of clinical conversation. Written in an entertaining, conversational style for readers aged fifteen and up, Dr. Wes pulls no punches in confronting the cognitive, social, emotional, and academic pitfalls people with ADD face every day. He also helps families, friends, and romantic partners understand a diagnosis of ADD not as an excuse for difficulties, but as a first step on the path to a better tomorrow. Dr. Wes Crenshaw offers thirteen principles for successful living with ADD and ADHD drawn from twenty-two years of experience and 23,000 hours of clinical discussions with hundreds of interesting clients. Written in an entertaining, conversational style for readers aged fifteen to thirty, Dr. Wes pulls no punches in confronting the cognitive, social, emotional, and academic pitfalls people with ADD face every day. He also helps families, friends, and romantic partners understand a diagnosis of ADD not as something to fear or an excuse, but as a first step on the path to a better tomorrow. Dr. Wes's principles include accepting here and now, living intentionally, making mindful decisions, recognizing and taking the right path and not just the easy one, wanting rather than wishing, finding and following life's instructions, managing crises, taking responsibility, attaining character through radical honesty, and creating sustainable happiness through organized thinking and living. Finally, Dr. Wes guides you and your loved ones in how to better manage relationships, seek a good diagnosis, utilize therapy, and become your own expert on medication management.* Have you been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD or do you suspect you should be? Do you really want to start solving your many riddles and living a more successful and productive life? This book is for you. * Does your partner, child, roommate, or friend have ADD? Do you wonder what's going on in his or her head, and you really want to understand the secret code so you can better love him or her? This book is for you.* Are you a little scattered or organizationally challenged? Do you struggle with details, follow-through, or in converting ideas into results? Do your people see you as fun and energetic, but uncommitted and difficult to pin down. Maybe you're an "ADD-leaner." This book is for you.

Editorial Reviews

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"Essential for young adults and adults with ADD/ADHD and those who love them. Written in an easy-to-read style and providing real-life examples, this is a great starting point for harnessing ADD/ADHD's positives and dealing with its difficulties to build a brighter tomorrow."

--Lisa Jordan, Library Journal

"A valuable and comprehensive guide on living with ADHD. I Always Want to Be Where I'm Notis a brilliant compilation of stories of people living with ADHD followed by tips on how to 'tap into your special power.' It's a life-saver of a book that can change your ADHD life for the better."

--Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., co-author, NY Times bestseller Driven to Distraction

"Quite simply one of the best books I've read about ADHD! With warm and humorous prose, Crenshaw provides principled, actionable advice for young adults who need to integrate ADHD symptoms into the growing pressures of adulthood. I Always Want to Be Where I'm Not should be the handbook for successfully growing up and into life with adult ADHD."

--Melissa Orlov, author The ADHD Effect on Marriage

"Informed, informative, insightful and exceptionally well written, organized and presented, especially recommended to the attention of non-specialist general readers seeking to understand and deal with ADD and ADHD in themselves, their family, and their friends. An enduringly valued contribution, I Always Want to Be Where I'm Not: Successful Living with ADD and ADHD is strongly recommended for personal and community library collections."

--Julie Summers, Midwest Book Review

"A chart for the therapeutic journey that ADHD sufferers must embark on with their therapist or mentor if they are going to achieve the success in relationships, schooling, and jobs that we all desire. The thirteen principles and their practical solutions provide a therapeutic game plan for tackling the challenges of this condition."

--Susan C. Pinsky, author, Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD

About the Author

Wes Crenshaw, PhD is a licensed psychologist and Board Certified in Couples and Family Psychology by the American Board of Professional Psychology. He specializes in working with adolescents, young adults and their families from his private practice, Family Psychological Services in Lawrence and Prairie Village Kansas (Kansas City Metro). He is the author of Treating Families and Children in the Child Protective System (Brunner-Routledge, 2004), Dear. Dr. Wes: Real Life Advice for Teens; and Real Life Advice for Parents of Teens (Family Psychological Press). He has co-authored the Double Take advice column since November 2004. Dr. Wes has been married since 1985 and has two children both of whom helped in the conceptualization and editing of this book. He is a frequent guest on radio and TV where he discusses, teens, parenting and ADD. You can learn more about his writing and practice at dr-wes.com or follow his tweets of pithy wisdom about ADD, teens, parenting, dating, divorce, marriage, and young adulthood @wescrenshawphd

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Family Psychological Press (April 30, 2014)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 244 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0985283300
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0985283308
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 11.7 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.55 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #746,342 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #465 in Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity
- #2,265 in Popular Psychology Pathologies
- #10,202 in Success Self-Help

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110 ratings

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Wes Crenshaw

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Wes Crenshaw, PhD is a licensed psychologist and Board Certified in Couples and Family Psychology by the American Board of Professional Psychology. He specializes in working with adolescents, young adults and their families from his private practice, Family Psychological Services, just outside the Kansas City metro. He is the author of Treating Families and Children in the Child Protective System (Brunner-Routledge, 2004), Dear. Dr. Wes: Real Life Advice for Teens; and Real Life Advice for Parents of Teens (Family Psychological Press). He has co-authored the Double Take advice column since November 2004. Dr. Wes has been married since 1985 and has two children both of whom helped in the conceptualization and editing of this book. He is a frequent guest on radio and TV where he discusses, teens, parenting and ADD. You can learn more about his writing and practice at www.dr-wes.com or follow his tweets of pithy wisdom about ADD, teens, parenting, dating, divorce, marriage, and young adulthood @wescrenshawphd

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110 global ratings

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Customers find the book highly informative and helpful, with one mentioning it's a great resource for those with ADD/ADHD. The book is easy to read and understand.

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Advice Readability

24 customers mention "Advice"24 positive0 negative

Customers find the book highly informative and helpful, providing great advice and insight.

"...Dr. Wes does an amazing job of highlighting the benefits of ADHD and gives great advice and resources for getting the bad parts under control...." Read more

"...This book is useful and I will be using it to assist myself and others I know who also share these characteristics, diagnosed or not!..." Read more

"Thorough and very helpful for those who suspect they might have ADD. I liked the section that goes through medical options...." Read more

"The author did a great job explaining the what, the why and what to do about it...." Read more

8 customers mention "Readability"6 positive2 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and understand, with one customer noting its clear explanations.

"...He was concise, he used entertaining examples, and it was plain he knew what he was talking about. An excellent read!" Read more

"...recently been diagnosed with ADD and this helpful book, written very straightforwardly, has provided me with a translation guide...." Read more

"...He breaks at odd points in the sentence, and his phrases do not flow well. He should have gotten someone else to read this book for him." Read more

"I highly recommend this book . It was easy to read and understand and held my interest. I honestly didnt want to put it down...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

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Lawana Walker
Life changing!
Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2020
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I have adult ADHD and wasn't diagnosed until my mid 20s. Even after diagnosis and starting medicine (which helped immensely) I was still struggling. I came across this book and got it, and it was abs life changing. It gave me so much more insight to how deeply ADHD has affected my life, in both good and bad ways. I've shared this book with many people (including my own father) and they've also gotten a ton from it. I've always thought my ADHD played a minor role in my mental health, and that depression and anxiety were the bigger culprits for my dysfunction, but I now know that ADHD is the major issue and learning how to manage it with therapy and medication has drastically improved my overall mental health. I no longer feel "broken" or like a failure. I was finally able to graduate college after more than 10 years of struggling through colleges and dropping out. Whether you have severe ADHD/ADD or are a "leaner" yourself, your spouse or child has it, or you just want to know more about ADHD and how it affects someone's life, this book is perfect. Dr. Wes does an amazing job of highlighting the benefits of ADHD and gives great advice and resources for getting the bad parts under control. He helped me come to terms with the fact that I'll have this forever, and that there's no "cure" for it, but it doesn't have to be some terrible thing to live with. I've realized why I've succeeded in the jobs that I have, and feel more positive about myself overall.

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9 people found this helpful

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Darri Murphy
Wow My Children are Right
Reviewed in the United States on February 2, 2016
Verified Purchase
Searching at Barnes and Noble for a book to help me understand ADD and ADHD for my family health and well being, I sat on the floor and looked into several of them. The title of this book epitomizes my own mental state... "I always want to be where I am not...". My children have told me for years that I, and they, have ADHD. None of us are diagnosed, but I believed it was possibly true.
I have literally thousands of books, most I have not read, but I imagine absorbing them by osmosis. I have learned to NOT purchase books immediately, so I looked inside to see if I could actually read this book by Dr Wes. I could, so I bought it from Amazon for my Kindle app a day later.
I rarely read books cover to cover due to distractions: family, children, grand children. But I did read it cover to cover. It has taken a week and I have learned so much about myself and others.
Dr Wes was speaking to me at age 60! Recently I find I have moved into a different flavor, more ADD now than ADHD. I have so readily responded to what I read with a mixture of appreciation for his work, and awe for Wes's tolerant but firm sense of accountability. I wish I had had his influence as I grew into adulthood because I checked off many items on several of the lists.
This book is useful and I will be using it to assist myself and others I know who also share these characteristics, diagnosed or not! Thanks for writing Dr. Wes, you are an inspiration

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9 people found this helpful

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Chris
Good read, straightforward advice, if sometimes a little preachy.
Reviewed in the United States on April 13, 2015
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Thorough and very helpful for those who suspect they might have ADD. I liked the section that goes through medical options. Only drawback is that I found its focused on late teens/early 20's patients a bit distracting. This could have been made more apparent in the title.

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3 people found this helpful

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Silvia
Great information
Reviewed in the United States on July 14, 2021
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The author did a great job explaining the what, the why and what to do about it. He was concise, he used entertaining examples, and it was plain he knew what he was talking about. An excellent read!

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One person found this helpful

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Father with family with ADD
***Life Changing*** If you are searching for ADD/ADHD answers, stop right now and read this book. This is not a pitch.
Reviewed in the United States on January 28, 2015
Verified Purchase
I am a father and have been exposed to ADD matters for years. For over 10 years, psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists have failed to explain and help loved ones. It gets to the true root cause of ADD in a way that the reader comes to terms on their own for the road to excel, rather than being something "forced upon you". To people without ADD, this may not seem like much, but for people with ADD this is extremely important based on what I have seen. This book should be read by everyone, not just people influenced by ADD. I have seen lives dramatically changed for the better, by just understanding the content of this book. I have read several books on the subject and this one finally got to the bottom of it all. There may be others that do, and I would love to hear from them. But this book is the first one I have read that has "triggered" practical solutions for those gifted with ADD.

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4 people found this helpful

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KENazon
Very helpful book
Reviewed in the United States on June 27, 2023
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I read the book and bought one as a gift for my son. Interesting and helpful

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Jennifer
Insightful, very helpful
Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2014
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For many years, I have been feeling as though my daughter spoke an unfamiliar language. Frustrated by her actions and reactions, I struggle to understand and to help her. She has recently been diagnosed with ADD and this helpful book, written very straightforwardly, has provided me with a translation guide. The case narratives and practical tips for action and organization are very helpful.

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2 people found this helpful

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Patti H.
One of the best ADHD books I've read.
Reviewed in the United States on December 10, 2014
Verified Purchase
This is one of the best books I've read for older teens and adults. It provides simple yet practical tips to working through the issues that come with ADHD. My son could be a character in this book. He is 15 years old and as I read some of the bullet points in one of the chapters to him, he said "that's me"! Now that we have a book that he can relate to we are going to start working through the principles together. If he believes the book applies to him and I understand better how his brain works, then I think this will become our most valuable resource to date. Thanks you!

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3 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Amazon カスタマー
My ADD Bible
Reviewed in Japan on August 15, 2021
Verified Purchase

A must read for people who are questioning themselves whether they have ADD/ADHD or not.

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Shawn Ladd
Ruthless Truth-Telling
Reviewed in Canada on June 10, 2021
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Good advice for anyone, but critical for the ADHD patient. Lost one star because my compensating gift is hypersensitivity to spelling errors and sloppy usage.

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Peter Rose
Bought this for a friend, but had a quick ...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 18, 2017
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Bought this for a friend, but had a quick look and it seems a very interesting read. I may just keep it for a few more days to digest it's contents.

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Mr. P. T. Doyle
Best In Class
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 17, 2016
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Very informative and interesting. This book is the best in its class as far as I am aware.

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I Always Want to Be Where I'm Not: Successful Living with ADD and ADHD Paperback – April 30, 2014

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Top reviews from other countries

5.0 out of 5 stars My ADD Bible

4.0 out of 5 stars Ruthless Truth-Telling

5.0 out of 5 stars Bought this for a friend, but had a quick ...

5.0 out of 5 stars Best In Class

My ADD Bible

Ruthless Truth-Telling

Bought this for a friend, but had a quick ...

Best In Class