- Series: Truthquest
- Paperback: 224 pages
- Publisher: B&H Books (January 1, 2003)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 080542573X
- ISBN-13: 978-0805425734
- Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
- Shipping Weight: 0.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 10 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,158,476 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Am I the One?: Clues to Finding and Becoming a Person Worth Marrying (Truthquest) Paperback – January 1, 2003
"Maybe You Should Talk to Someone" by Lori Gottlieb
"This is a daring, delightful, and transformative book." ―Arianna Huffington, Founder, Huffington Post Learn more
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The book itself is organized in twelve chapters with a very short introduction and concluding epilogue, and four parts in between. Part One examines the solid foundation for relationships in general, with four chapters on the issues of “having fun,” becoming a person worth knowing and marrying, finding a person worth knowing and marrying, and avoiding “dumb dating.” Part Two examines the sober realities about relationships and marriage, with chapters on avoiding turning marriage into a hanging, exploring twelve lousy reasons to marry, and twelve types of “problem people” to avoid. This last chapter within the section, which explores the need to avoid people with anger problems, addictions, a history of broken relationships, manipulative personalities, score keeping tendencies, war making tendencies, pride, greed, worry, judgmental attitudes, a lack of discernment, and hypocrisy, are valid not only for marriage but any kind of relationship. Part Three examines the more pleasant aspect of recognizing a good match for a great marriage (the part all of us who are single want to get to), with chapters on the best reasons for getting marriage (including benefits to spiritual life and a reciprocal recognition of mutual love), the twelve things to be sure of before getting married, and ten ways to know you have found “the one.” These three chapters are particularly useful for those in a serious relationship and examining if it is “the one.” Part Four closes on celebrating singleness and its God-given purposes (which can be neglected by some singles) as well as the previously mentioned chapter on the unavoidable subject of sex. Each chapter closes with discussion questions for each reader to answer alone as well as “together” (with the assumption, not always accurate, that the reader is involved in a relationship), and some that are supposed to be discussed with a pastor, who is presumably counseling the couple for marriage. The book therefore is designed to provide the reader/couple reading together with a sense of accountability to themselves, to each other, and to their Church.
As is the case with many books, the last words in this book provide the true summation of the point of the book, which is: “The quote at the beginning of this chapter said, “No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved.” If you do life right, you can be the one to love that way. And to be loved—the way you want to be loved.” Indeed, the purpose of reading a book like this, and in spending the time to answer for yourself its many and penetrating discussion questions, is to make sure that you develop into the sort of person who can love someone the right way, and because you wish to be loved that way yourself. Isn’t that the reason we prepare for marriage anyway?
The author avoids formulas, cliches, and legalistic rules. He puts things in a new perspective and brings different views to old ideas. He doesn't try to sugar coat anything and he tells it like it is.
There are four parts and here's what it covers:
Part 1: Building a Solid Foundation for Relationships
Chapter 1: "All I wanna do is have some fun"
Chapter 2: Becoming a person worth knowing and marrying
Chapter 3: Recognizing a person worth knowing and marrying
Chapter 4*: Kissing Dumb Dating Goodbye
*in chapter 4, the author talks about the difference between smart dating and dumb dating. And that there's nothing wrong with dating a great and decent person.
Part 2: Facing the Sobering Realities about relationships and Marriage
Chapter 5: Before you tie the knot, make sure the rope isn't around your neck
Chapter 6: 12 lousy reason for getting married
Chapter 7: 12 problem people to avoid
Part 3: Recognizing the right match for a good marriage
Chapter 8: The best reasons for getting married
Chapter 9: 12 things to be sure of before you get married
Chapter 10: 10 ways to know you've found "The One."
Part 4: Life right now
Chapter 11: Celebrating singleness
Chapter 12: Dealing with sex
I found this book to be quite refreshing from other books on dating/courting. Instead of trying to convince you that courting is more holy, or that dating is dirty, he takes a different approach on dating, friendship, and romance. He doesn't try to talk anyone down and its appropriate for teens and even people in their 20s.
I've read a lot of dating/courting books everything from I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Boy Meets Girl, Choosing God's Best, When God Writes Your Love Story, Passion & Purity, etc.
This book and WGWYLS(When God Writes Your Love Story) have got to be the best books around on dating, in my opinion anyway. I'd definately recommend it.