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John Kaine

American Homemaker Kindle Edition

by John Kaine (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

38 ratings

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Kim Loomis is a social media star, homemaker and mortician. With her husband Norman, they’ve been bringing in a dark harvest. But death is an infrequent visitor to a small town, and when they struggle to meet demand, Kim decides there is a profitable alternative. Except Norman doesn’t want any part of his wife’s horrific plans. He wants to leave Kim, but no one leaves America’s homemaker.

It was plain sailing for assassin Melody Morgan until she executes a drug cartel’s bagman. Hunted by highly efficient killers, Melody is forced to accept a job from Kim. But not everything is as it seems. Kim is hiding something, a secret so terrifying there may be no way out for anyone.

Print length

415 pages
Language

English
Publication date

October 11, 2018
File size

2041 KB
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Product details

ASIN : B07JDM5RJX
Publication date : October 11, 2018
Language : English
File size : 2041 KB
Simultaneous device usage : Unlimited
Text-to-Speech : Enabled
Screen Reader : Supported
Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
X-Ray : Not Enabled
Word Wise : Enabled
Print length : 415 pages
Page numbers source ISBN : 1916488412
Lending : Enabled

Best Sellers Rank: #664,543 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #29,859 in Suspense (Kindle Store)
- #31,876 in Thrillers (Kindle Store)
- #44,618 in Suspense Thrillers

Customer Reviews:
38 ratings

Customer reviews

5 star		42%
4 star		23%
3 star		17%
2 star		13%
1 star		5%

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Top reviews from the United States

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Jane Matthews

An Unusual/Different Narrative, Albeit Thoroughly Riveting

Reviewed in the United States on June 15, 2019

Verified Purchase

I really, really, REALLY... "dug" this book. A slightly dizzying ride, this tale unexpectedly thrives and it is such a vast refreshing change from the "same old, same old."

A bit quirky, definitely riveting, filled with suspense and apprehension. It sucked me in and held me captive.

It is definitely a different narrative! I certainly wouldn't know how to describe it's genre. I wouldn't describe it as horror, but perhaps not for the weak of heart.

I would've have given it 5 stars but without giving away any spoilers (I ABHOR SPOILERS) I can't say why. But I can say, it was absolutely worth my time. It's the kind of story that "sticks to your ribs" and indeed, I'm still digesting 48 hours later.

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DETRA JACKSON

WOW!

Reviewed in the United States on May 1, 2019

Verified Purchase

I don't write enough reviews however I had to write one for this. Without giving any spoilers this books was amazing! By the title and summary I didn't know what to really expect! Definitely a story within a story. It has been a while since I have read a horror story this well written and for that I am grateful. You will not be disappointed.

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Angela K.

Fantastic Thriller

Reviewed in the United States on June 26, 2019

Fantastic thriller. I finished this book in a matter of days. I was reading another one concurrently or I would have finished sooner. The basic premise is a married couple are running a funeral home in a small town. The wife is selling “parts” off the dead bodies to make more money because there’s money in those parts and she’s, to put it bluntly, a stone cold killer. There’s a lot more money in black market organs though, so I’m sure you can see where this is going. Then a kid goes missing. Her husband is a pretty docile sort, but this is just about the last straw, goshdurnit.
The moving pieces in this story are really intricate, from the alcoholic mother of the first missing kid, the loving couple of the second missing child, who snuck (sneaked? Meh, shrug), out of his room out of guilt to find the first kid, who was his best friend. The guilt was rising from a fight they’d had right before the first kid disappeared. There’s a twin to the mortician cum black market organ seller, she’s in a psychiatric unit for taking the blame for their foster home burning to the ground after a particularly bad beating she’d endured. Oh, and the black market organ seller is a completely off the rails Martha Stewart worshipper who has a lot of “opinions” about how a home should be kept pristine and has YouTube channels and such devoted to her vocation of “homemaking.”

There’s also a side story of an assassin, a former army soldier going on in the background, which ties neatly in right at the very end of the story and I’m hoping fervently will lead to a second book. This wild ride goes all the way, literally, to the very last sentence of this book. I gasped out loud and looked at my husband and couldn’t not try to explain what the h*ll had just gone on in this book. Absolutely fantastic read. I can’t wait to get more from this author.

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booknerdsbraindump

Finally! Proof that a messy house is a sign of a healthy psyche.

Reviewed in the United States on October 11, 2019

Hello, my duckies, from the land of Finally Fall! The leaves aren’t quite ready to change, but the temperature is finally below “the air is lava” and you guys know what that means, right? Halloween is coming, and I for one am all about horror movie marathons and shamelessly exploiting my adorable progeny for lots and lots of candy.

Speaking of shamelessly exploiting people, let me introduce you to American Homemaker.

Kim Loomis Has It All. She’s a successful-enough businesswoman (in a small town like Montpelier, the three competing funeral homes only get so much business), always dressed perfectly in the latest most expensive clothes, and president of the Homemakers Association of Vermont.

The last accomplishment isn’t quite as prestigious as it sounds, as the HAV only has three other members at the moment, but Kim has big plans. Of course, with such a small group of women, a certain amount of jealousy and gossip is bound to ensue, but seriously…. How DOES Kim afford the clothes, Mercedes, and everything else with such a limited client base? The more Kim glosses over the truth of her lifestyle, the more determined club member Megan becomes to unearth her secret.

In another state (and really, another world) Melody Morgan has a thriving career, because let’s face it: As long as spouses leave crumbs on the counter and toothpaste in the sink, there will ALWAYS be a market for contract killers. She can’t exactly show off her wealth or brag about her skills, and she has to keep her social circle small, of course. After the job that was supposed to be her last Goes Horribly Wrong, Melody finds herself in the crosshairs of some very, very bad people.

And back in scenic, quaint Montpelier, a twelve year old boy has gone missing, and a whole lot of horrific long-buried truths might be exposed to the light at last.

Y’all, this one is BANANAS. For 370-ish pages, there’s an insane amount of story. We get the perspectives of not only Kim & Melody, but also the kidnapped Evan and his best friend Corey, Corey’s dad, at least one particularly murderous member of a ruthless drug cartel, and all of the ladies of the club. Virtually all of the women in this story are egocentric, obsessive, and unlikable, and not-coincidentally, tremendously entertaining.

And, my beloved nerdlings, do you really need me to tell you that twists and turns abound? Because they do, oh, do they ever. But in American Homemaker, it’s not so much about the twisty plot or crazy-sudden outbursts of violence. No, this one is all about the characters, and how bad people can do good things and vice versa, and how notions like good and bad can always be contorted into each other to the point that they don’t matter anyway. Not to mention a uniquely American strain of image-conscious sociopathy that seems to be taking over the world.

(Let me briefly interject that I seem to be immune to that one, I’m quite comfy in my slovenly skin, thank you very much, and I have zero desire to “curate” anything ever.)

There’s so much discussion to be had, so many twists within turns and ugly secrets within outward perfection that I feel like I’m barely scratching the surface of a single facet of a priceless gem.

Which is why the ending was such a shock. Of course this will always be a spoiler free zone, but after spending so much tension-filled time with a main character, it was a bucket of ice water to the sensitive parts when the camera cut away from them.

To Mr. Kaine’s credit, American Homemaker doesn’t have the cash-grab sequel-setup feel that I have come to loathe, and most of the major plotlines are wrapped up in perfectly fulfilling ways, but the ambiguity of that one person’s fate still doesn’t sit quite right. The best stories leave you wanting more, but this one just left me feeling a bit deprived. Granted, it’s easy enough to imagine what happens next, but it’s just not the same.

Definitely still worth the ride though.

The Nerd’s Rating: FOUR HAPPY NEURONS (and a bucket full of Reese’s cups, because if Walmart can start Christmas right now, I can start Halloween.)

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Top reviews from other countries

Lagoon

Full of malice, jealousy and downright nastiness. I loved it😛

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 1, 2019

Verified Purchase

If Good Housekeeping magazine merged with Fatal Attraction, you might get somewhere near this outstanding novel. Kim Loomis; what a character. Read this one for the thrills and learn how best to clean your microwave whilst you are at it.