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Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way Paperback – September 1, 2007

4.3 out of 5 stars 146 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"This is an excellent book for understanding and coping with the various scenarios that spark our anger. Gary Chapman's decision to read his own work, based on stories gleaned from his years of individual and couples counseling, is a strong one because it lends an intimate tone to this sensitive subject. Chapman’s warm voice and use of colloquial expression make listeners feel that they could be sitting down with the good doctor himself. Chapman artfully sheds his reputation as an international author and speaker and allows listeners to connect with him and with the startling fact that anger, perhaps even more than love, is a universal human emotion." 
M.R. 2008 Audies Finalist © AudioFile Portland, Maine
--This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

From the Back Cover

INCLUDES A PERSONAL ANGER ASSESSMENT designed to help you see hose you manage anger.

Are you handling your anger, or is your anger handling you?

Life is full of frustrations-some big, some little. And while you might not be ready to blow a gasket, it's easy to get angry in the wake of rejection, hurt, or embarrassment-and anger can have a really tight grip.  ¿ ¿

In Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion, Dr. Gary Chapman offers helpful (and sometimes surprising) insights into why you get angry and what you can do about it. Using real-life examples of transformed lives and relationships, Chapman explains how to:

  • Recognize the difference between "bad" and "good" anger
  • Use anger to motivate you toward positive change
  • Release long-simmering resentment
  • Teach others (like your children) how to deal with anger

Anger is a reality of life, but it doesn't have to control our lives. Learn how to handle anger and use it for good.

Includes reflection questions in each chapter and a 13-session discussion guide that's perfect for small groups, workplace studies, and book clubs.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 227 pages
  • Publisher: Northfield Publishing; Revised edition (September 1, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1881273881
  • ISBN-13: 978-1881273882
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (146 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #74,815 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Matthew P. Cochrane on January 3, 2009
Format: Paperback
Chapman begins his book by defining anger. He states it is "a response to some event or situation in life that causes us irritation, frustration, pain, other displeasure." Chapman continues:

"Anger is fed by feelings of disappointment, hurt, rejection, and embarrassment. Anger pits you against the person, place, or thing that sparked the emotion. It is the opposite of the feeling of love. Love draws you toward the person; anger sets you against the person."

Chapman also establishes, early in the book, that not all anger is bad. In fact, Chapman asserts, it is the proper reaction to injustice and evil. Chapman writes:

"...each of us has on some level a concern for righteousness, fairness, and justice. Whenever we encounter that which we believe to be unrighteous, unkind, or unjust, we experience anger. I believe that in God's design this anger is to motivate us to take positive, loving action to seek to set the wrong right; and where there has been a relationship, to restore the relationship with the wrongdoer."

Chapman is careful to add that this does not give us license to "do destructive things" or to hurt those who wronged us. Rather he is merely explaining that anger "originates in the perception that something is wrong."

Chapman then makes a key distinction between two different types of anger: definitive and distorted. Definitive anger is when we've been wronged and are angry for good reason. If someone cheats us in a business deal, pokes us in the eye with a sharp stick for no good reason or lobs live hand grenades at our vehicle while we're driving home from work we would probably be angry - and for good reason! These are all examples of definitive anger and are valid reasons for getting angry.
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Format: Audio CD
I got this book specifically because Gary Chapman, a Christian therapist and author, wrote it. His book The Five Love Languages has been an inspiration to many couples seeking a way to make their spouse feel loved and to also make the reader aware of what makes him/her feel loved. His Anger book has left me where I can start managing my anger instead of stuffing it down inside. Funny how in the Bible, God and Christ express anger - but we're told as Christians that it's not a "good" emotion and we should "turn the other cheek". There is a time and a place for everything. If you're angry, then do what you have to in order to come to terms with that anger and deal with it in a healthy way, not the way most of us were taught as kids. The lessons in this book are the groundwork for a healthy life, in whatever circumstances you find yourself. As with any book, read the full description, as it will clue you in as to what the author's motivation is. Chapman is a relationship therapist and his work is phenomenal. He's also a Christian and teaches how to deal with anger in a healthy way, instead of holding it inside until you are ill or you just totally lose it. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants a way to express anger in a healthy, constructive way. Too often, we use our anger to hurt others. This book, although based on Biblical teaching, can offer something to anyone who wants to stop the anger cycle and repair the relationships with those around them.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This was the first Gary Chapman book that I read. It is wonderful to say the least. It gives very effective tools for managing anger in a positive and healthy manner. The book also helps you to first locate the source of the anger and act accordingly. I think that this book is useful for everyone, even if they don't have an anger "issue". I am now hooked on Gary Chapman and plan to continue to read his books. On another note, yes his books are Christian based, but don't let that stop you from getting some great tools and information to better your life.
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Format: Paperback
I did not realize how much anger I was holding on to and the effect it was having on me. I was able to see and admit my anger and then offer it up God. I feel a lot better and happier.

I will be able to use what I read and apply it to the future as well. I learned ways to recognize my anger and constructive ways to resolve underlying issues.
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Format: Paperback
I listened to the book on CD. I do not expect all of the issues that relate to anger will be addressed by one book or source, because anger is a complicated emotion. But that's just it...Chapman simplifies it by first validating that anger is a Godly trait, and we are capable of anger because we are made in the image of God. As I understand Chapman's point, Godly anger happens when one experiences something that is immoral, that which is contrary to the character and holiness of God. It is not Godly, for example, if it results only from my lack of patience, or an incorrect understanding of the facts of a situation. Anger can be righteous/real (I think Chapman may have used other words) or distorted. Because my having anger is validated, my fight in that moment against feeling shameful for merely feeling anger disappears, clearing the way so I can more accurately view the situation. Then the only issue is how I choose to handle it. Chapman explains how to discern real from distorted anger, and gives very practical advice in a wide array of specific examples. He also presents practical steps for handling anger in the future. This book gave me valuable insight into instances of anger that range from getting annoyed when I am tired, to responding to a misunderstanding with a person I love whom I know would never intend to anger me. Much of the help comes from being able to validate the emotion of anger, and gain an intellectual distance from it in the moment that anger occurs. Thank you, Chapman.
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