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Angry Men, Passive Men: Understanding the Roots of Men's Anger and How to Move Beyond It Paperback – May 10, 1994
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From the Inside Flap
"An exciting and inspiring book for any man who wishes to understand himself better--and for any woman who wishes to understand men."
NATHANIEL BRANDEN, Ph.D.
Author of THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ROMANTIC LOVE
Nationally known therapist Marvin Allen explores the root causes of men's emotional problems and offers a comprehensive solution to restore their sense of joy and well-being: men working together in therapy groups. Drawing on the life stories of scores of men as well as the author's own personal experience, this landmark book dramatizes the groundbreaking techniques that men can use not simply to discuss their buried emotions but to release them in the healing company of other men. It provides a powerful catalyst for changing men's lives.
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Mr. Allen presents material here that may not at first seem new to anyone reading in men's studies these days. But the added value is in the second half of the book where, after convincing us that there are serious reasons to consider why men suppress their feelings, he gives us some ideas of how to break through the barriers. He explains how we will be able to open up to a full range of feelings if we simply stop accepting "the rules written on The Man Box" we're in.
Just as the women's movement has begun to dismantle the systemic reasons for being put in "the Woman Box," men are encouraged to review how and why we are so well indoctrinated by society to fill the stereotype of "man." We have to start at home and in the society at large to correct limiting views while saving the good aspects of being male. "What men need to do," Allen tells us, "is draw some distinctions between beliefs and behaviors they want to keep and ones they want to discard. For example, they may see that being able to hide their feelings in a poker game or in the middle of a business deal works to their advantage; there are times when it's important not to show your hand. But hiding their feelings from their wives and their friends keeps them isolated and alone."
I suppose the best recommendation, or review, of this book I can give you is to mention that I have ordered a dozen copies (from Amazon.com of course!) to give to friends and to use in my own men's group. I recommend this excellent work for any man or woman interested in learning more about the male psychology.