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The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole
The Amazon Book Review
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About the Author
"After completing The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole, the authors, Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon, fled the country. They were last seen in Brazil sipping Singapore Slings with Mescal on the side at the Cross-Eyed Donkey bar.
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There is a style of book out there that is far from the mainstream. It is called bizzaro for those of you who haven't experienced it before you must be warned that it can cause itchy skin, rashes, blindness, seizures and in some cases even death. Keeping the in mind what timothy w. Long and Jonathan Moon have created isn't bizzaro. It is a while new experience and its effects on the human psyche, while still fully unknown, are clearly worse! What they have created can only be referred to as absurdo and since the name is trademarked by Mr. Long I now owe him a million dollars... Unfortunately for him he has to wait in line behind my wife, creditors and bookie. Let's be honest here has has a very long wait in front of him.
At any rate onto the review! The novel itself is not dedicated to the zombie culture, however they do make quite a few guest appearances so it can show its cover on our cold dead pages.
The book itself is about the end of the world. The Apocalypse has come and there is no hiding from the ravages that Satan has planned for the world. Things don't exactly get off on the right foot though as an overweight God decides he would rather create a new universe with less humans and more chicken pot pies instead of bringing about the rapture. Those who were to be saves? Yeah, they are stuck here with the rest of us so when things start not going according to plan they quickly spiral out of control
The four horsemen of the apocalypse really don't care to do their job anymore and with Jesus gambling in Vegas and the Antichrist not making his proper appearance either the rest of the world is thrown into shambles. Satan is trying to loose himself on the world and is insisting his demon hordes that are escaping from hell feed humanity to him - through his ass. Remember folks this is Absurdo.
How does this involve the living dead one may ask? Well apparently the horsemen (aside from Death) have a knack for bringing the dead back to life to use as their personal armies and with Death not out and about reaping souls War and Pestilence's armies tend to grow rather quickly, if not effectively. These zombies swell in ranks rather quickly both from those already dead and from those that they kill and are used in three spots in the novel. First rather ineffectively against a group of amazonian lesbians who stumble across them on their way to take out a cult of satanists. Second, Pestilence brings about his own group of zombies but has no interest in bringing a flood of death upon the world but is instead using them to help him find drugs so he can get high. Really great horsemen material - should be bringing about the end of the world and is instead finding drugs. War though really brings up a great forth of zombies at the very end of the book. While his first set were quickly dispatched he is able to use his second set to take on a group of demons who are guarding Satan himself.
If you aren't homophobic and don't mind demons and dick jokes galore you should pick this one up!
The writing is very impressive and constructed seamlessly between the two authors. I was hooked from the first chapter. The similes and metaphors are some of the most hilarious and imaginative I have ever read. The characters of the Four Horsemen are absolutely side-splitting - and the rest of the rather immense character list are equally as oddball. Jesus and Satan make the Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff pale in comparison. There is too much going on in this book to single anything out, so hopefully that in itself peaks your interest
This is a long book compared to others in the genre, and I think that is it's only (very small) downside. It's a endurance test in 'wtf' of Apocalyptic proportions - but I love it for that, and honestly, not a dull moment.
Let me start by saying I finished this book a few months ago and it has taken me this long to find the words to review it. This book blew my mind. I haven' really read too many bizarro stories so this book was a punch to my throat--in a very good way. I laughed, I cried (from laughing so hard), and I groaned in sheer gross-out delight.
This story was epic in scale but not a difficult read, in fact, I had a hard time putting it down. The authors wove a tight story with no loose ends resulting in that nice feeling of being "full" after reading it. Months after finishing this book I'm still chuckling over some of the bits and I'm sure it'll stick with me for life. I fear that when I'm old and senile I'll be sitting in some chair muttering "**** Phil" and smiling.
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But if you like strange horror, then you won't be let down