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The Art of Showing Up: How to Be There for Yourself and Your People Paperback – May 12, 2020
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“Rachel has this great emotional intelligence *and* the ability to translate it into accessible tips on cultivating meaningful relationships.”—BuzzFeed Books
“Journalist Rachel Wilkerson Miller gives great advice about being honest when people ask how you're doing, plus a detailed guide to how to show up for people in small and large ways.”—NPR Life Kit
“Rachel Wilkerson Miller's "The Art of Showing Up" covers almost everything you need to know about forming and maintaining adult friendships while also taking care of yourself.”—Today.com
“Wilkerson Miller’s discussion of friendship goes beyond answering texts on time, building healthy adult friendships, and other easily palatable topics. Instead, she gets frank with her audience about the moments that impact our friendships most.”—Bitch Media
“The Art of Showing Up is as pragmatic as it is inspirational . . . [these days] stylish and accessible guides to showing up as our best are more appreciated than ever.”—Parade.com
“Excellent tips for forging relationships with others and becoming an even better ‘old’ friend.”—Library Journal, starred review
“An easy, entertaining guide to adult friendships. . . . [Miller’s] charismatic voice will appeal to any reader of self-help. Those looking for help braving the social unknown will want to take a look.”—Publishers Weekly
“Rachel’s advice is smart, straightforward, and empathetic. The Art of Showing Up offers a roadmap to becoming a better friend and happier person. Read this book!”—Alison Green, author of Ask a Manager
“In a time when we’re more physically disconnected than ever, this book is a must-read and all of Rachel’s methods and tips translate to connection online and not just in real life.”—Hitha Palepu
“This is an incredibly practical book full of easy, yet meaningful, ways to develop more friendship and love in your life. Through steps that anyone can do, Rachel helps us find the support that we all crave in our lives and leaves us feeling ever more hopeful!”—Shasta Nelson, author of Frientimacy
“Rachel Wilkerson Miller has given us a toolbox for strengthening our relationships with one another and with ourselves. This book is the resource that twenty-, thirty-, and fortysomethings were missing—and that we didn’t know we absolutely needed.”—Caroline Moss, coauthor of Hey Ladies! and host of Gee Thanks, Just Bought It!
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This is a book I plan to return to often. Some sections work best if you allow plenty of time to explore the suggested questions and practices, while other sections might work best as a reference. The author encourages small steps repeated often to build tolerance to new habits, and she frequently acknowledges that we all have different contexts and abilities, so her advice feels feasible. I particularly loved her guidance on boundaries, which I think many of us struggle with. And I loved her discussion of “body neutrality,” an idea I wasn’t familiar with.
Her discussions of how to cope when difficult things happen, in your own life or someone else’s, are especially relevant during the current pandemic. I found the concept of different levels of friendship very helpful; I now feel more confident about choosing how much to disclose to friends of different levels.
I loved this book so much, and I highly recommend it for anyone interested in living a more authentic, aligned life and having better relationships of all kinds. Honestly, I would love to see everyone reading this book, and then perhaps we’d all have happier, healthier, more conscious relationships with ourselves and each other.
I was provided an unproofed ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.
This book is impressively comprehensive; it offers practical advice and even sample conversations to help you deal with situations and relationships that are difficult. The book is divided into two sections - how to be there for yourself, and how to be there for others.
Being there for yourself and taking care of yourself is something we often neglect to do. Miller helps you take an in-depth look at yourself, identify your values, what is important to you and what's not. She also helps you assess what's working for you in your life, your job, your relationships, where and how you live, and what is not working for you. You'll read about levels of friendship, setting boundaries, what self-care encompasses and several other topics. This is a comprehensive look at YOU, and at the end of it, you will know yourself and what you want for yourself and your life better.
Part Two deals with How to Show Up for Others. It tackles how to make and maintain friendships, how to deal with relationships that may need extra work, how to navigate through hard times in your life or the life of your friend, how to have the hard conversations when someone is acting out of character or doing things that trouble you. It offers suggestions as to how to make your relationships work for you, and on the flip side, what to do when they don't.
Practical advice and helpful sample conversations are offered throughout the book. This is a good read for anyone wanting to take better care of themselves and want to build strong, mutually beneficial relationships with others.
My thanks to NetGalley and The Experiment for allowing me to read a copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review. All opinions expressed here are my own.