- Paperback: 242 pages
- Publisher: Cleis Press (December 9, 2014)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1627780629
- ISBN-13: 978-1627780629
- Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 8 inches
- Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 11 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #610,588 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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As Kinky as You Wanna Be: Your Guide to Safe, Sane and Smart BDSM Paperback – December 9, 2014
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"The Other Woman" by Sandie Jones
“The Other Woman is an absorbing thriller with a great twist. A perfect beach read.” ― Kristin Hannah, #1 New York Times bestselling author of "The Great Alone" Pre-order today
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"With the film release of "Fifty Shades of Grey," a lot of people are now interested in BDSM but they have no idea to do it. The book As Kinky As You Wanna Be: Your Guide to Safe, Sane and Smart BDSM by Shanna Germain is a great way to learn about how to do this stuff in safe way. Anyone that is new to the world of BDSM will want to check out this book" --Sex & Love Examiner
"Shanna Germain's stories are gorgeously poetic, emotionally fearless, and torch-your-panties hot. She's the Aztec chile chocolate of erotica -- an indulgence good for both body and soul." --Donna George Storey
"This interesting book is not an instructional manual but a guide to what BDSM means, complete with examples. While you might think dry and boring, this is anything but that. After all, it is kinky sex. That being said, it goes over mental and physical health, communication and so much more that you really should think about before exploring your kinkier side. While this sounds like it should be for those who have never tried BDSM, it would still be helpful for those who have. If nothing else, as a reminder of things you should think about. It is well laid out with short stories or excerpts from stories to illustrate the point that that chapter is making. Those stories are wonderful; interesting as well as informative. In the back of the book is a glossary and other tools to make your adventure safe, sane and consensual as well as risk aware consensual kink. Everything might not be for everyone and some things may not interest you today but may tomorrow or never. Regardless of where you are, this is an informative book. I liked that it wasn't a how to but more of a how would I ever do this type of stuff and what about the rest of the world!" --Night Owl Reviews
From the Back Cover
Like a travel guide to the wonderful world of BDSM, As Kinky as You Wanna Be offers a road map to your own kinky self. This guide will help you discover which kinky countries you want to visit, give you tips and techniques on the language of BDSM, and help you navigate the customs and rituals of kinky communities.
Inside you’ll find out how to:
- Discover new pleasures
- Talk about kink with your partner, your family or your doctor
- Stay physically and mentally safe
- Handle the rough terrain of fears and concerns
- Put your kinky dreams into practice
As Kinky as You Wanna Be will be your mentor, your confidant and your expert resource. In addition to advice from author Shanna Germain, the book features informative interviews with BDSM educators such as Cecilia Tan, Jay Wiseman and Lee Harrington, and is sprinkled with stories from top erotica authors like Janine Ashbless and Nikki Magennis that demonstrate the hottest ways to play.
Whether you are about to embark on your first kinky experience or your thousandth, As Kinky as You Wanna Be will take you by the hand (or perhaps by the hair) to masterfully show you the wild rides of bondage, submission, pain, pleasure and more.
Top customer reviews
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Overall, this book approaches a complicated subject with elegance and thoughtfulness, two strengths that are often apparent in Shanna's writing.
Fantastic book that is truly needed.
I can say with confidence that I am "vanilla." It doesn't turn me on and I just don't get it, but I'm also not judging people who do. Before I got married, I had a guy yank my hair while we were kissing. I told him not to and he did it again. I absolutely hated it. I never saw him again. Some of you might like that. The key here is that you should have your partner's green light and a safeword before you do anything. If you want to get kinky, make sure you talk about it first and don't just spring it on people.
Basically, I never would have purchased the book on my own, but was sent a review copy. I wrote a full review as the Sex & Relationships Examiner, but you can only link to Amazon, so here's the rest of the text:
"50 Shades of Grey," set the box office record for the highest Valentine's weekend opening, as reported Feb. 16 by the Los Angeles Times. The book and film have inspired many women to explore ways of experiencing greater sexual pleasure, and even kinky BDSM acts they otherwise might not. While inspiring curiosity is great, many do not know what to do next. A new book titled, "As kinky as you want to be" by Shanna Germain hopes to fill in the gaps for people wanting to experience kinky sex for the first time. In case you didn't know, there are actually rules, etiquette, and other important considerations before you even think about handcuffs, whips, and chains. And she's going to tell you all about it without making you feel judged. She writes about a BDSM play party so you know what to expect.
BDSM, is an acronym which encompasses bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sado-masochism. It was once known as just S & M for many years. There are many things to choose from in terms of experiences and many things to consider. While she doesn't come out and say it, the mental aspects of getting kinky are just as important as the physical aspects. There's a lot of talking and thinking about having sex before you actually do it with your partner.
There are important emotional, medical, legal, ethical, and physical considerations when engaging in kinky sex which are absolutely not covered in a film like "50 Shades." The new film is a fantasy, which in reality might be scary to have someone step in and control you without your consent. The book and film also depict a rape in which consent is never discussed, nor is there a reminder that she can use a safeword. Many disparate groups have considered boycotting the "50 Shades of Grey". It would have been worth Germain mentioning specifically that many women do not have these rape fantasies and if a rape fantasy hasn't specifically been discussed in advance, then do not attempt it. But if "50 Shades" represents your fantasies, you ought not be judged if turns you on. Sometimes a fantasy is just that, a mental thing that you would not actually carry out. Because, let's face it, some of these things actually hurt in real life!
A basic step, which the author provides for, is reading BDSM erotica to safely explore scenarios which might turn you on. A few shorts stories of different short scenarios give a teaser read how these things might go - minus the actual pain. In that sense, reading "50 Shades" is one way that you might actually explore some of your fantasies. What specifically do you like about the book - is it the bondage? Do you have rape fantasies? Or is it because Christian Grey is wealthy and powerful? Or is it because the submissive Ana Steele eventually wins control over the next 3 books?
Another foundational step is talking about what turns you on with your partner. The author recommends working through a list of things that you might try or won't try, if you're dominant or submissive, and how much pain you would be willing to take. However, not all of BDSM is pain-related. Some is fantasy, role play, or even delay of pleasure because the person tied up can't pleasure the other person. It might be as benign as watching - with consent.
And she also spends some time discussing that interests change in a relationship and that you must be flexible with your partner in exploring different things. Some partners may lose interest in kink, or may want to do more than the other person. Someone may experience health issues which make some things impossible. The most important watchword is consent, and within that consent, a safeword is paramount.
But, even consenting partners may have trouble explaining what they are doing before the law and while seeking medical attention, so she even has some tips for tackling that. If you aren't ready to tackle the legal and medical implications of what you're doing, or aren't ready to be a considerate partner, then you aren't ready to go past the fantasy stages.
There is some valuable basic medical information that would be helpful such as the very real possibility of transmitting diseases though sexual contact and forms of play which include any bodily fluids. But, then again, this is only a very basic book. There are also very real physical reasons why people may enjoy being spanked or flogged in that the pelvic floor muscles contract involuntarily. This is not a psychological flaw, but causes great shame for many people. The pelvic muscles are designed to do many things, from the mundane tasks of holding up your spine, and holding the contents of your bowels, to contracting when someone is in pain, as well contracting during orgasm. Having strong pelvic floor muscles can contribute to greater pleasure for both men and women. Good advice includes engaging in activities which specifically target strengthening core muscles, such as pilates, yoga, and Kegels. The book could have contained a few more short stories and could have included a few more gay and bisexually oriented stories. Maybe the next edition will be expanded.
This book isn't an intensive how-to guide in terms of how to tie knots, or put on handcuffs, but it does help you think about exploration and gives you important basics. If you are new to real BDSM, it's an invaluable guide which is written in a friend's non-judgmental voice. It's a very easy read for you and your honey to discuss and explore sexuality. It's a perfect gift for Valentine's Day, bridal showers, or pretty much any other time of year. After all, as one learned from Pee-Chee folders, sex is an all-season sport. And there are many shades of kinky to explore.