- Paperback: 112 pages
- Publisher: Hampton Roads Pub Co Inc (October 31, 2005)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1571744541
- ISBN-13: 978-1571744548
- Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 0.5 x 6.5 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1.6 ounces
- Average Customer Review: 16 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,655,986 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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As Much Time as it Takes: A Guide for the Bereaved, Their Family And Friends Paperback – October 31, 2005
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Offers a wide-ranging approach to loss. Short sentences with large print; easy for grieving eyes to see. -- The Midwest Book Review, January 2006
Spiritual balm that does justice to life's reluctant survivors. Written in poetic language, includes cliches and activities to avoid. -- ForeWord, September/October 2005
Top customer reviews
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If you are grieving you will find deep comfort from reading this amazing book. If you are wondering how to console a grieving friend the most helpful thing you can do, in my opinion, is to give them this book. I cannot add to the words written by other reviewers here: I agree with everything they have said.
Somewhere, here in this little book, you are certain to find the help you need. Martin Keogh covered a great deal of ground in doing his research for this book - from professionals who work with grieving and dying folks to those who have had lay experience - and you can feel his success. It takes only about an hour to read, cover to cover, a small investment to facilitate your ease in knowing what to say and do - or, perhaps more importantly, to know what NOT to say and do.
You will gain the courage to simply be present in the best way you are able in the presence of grief, your own or someone else's from reading this book.
In the past, I was the one who tried to make it better, when I couldn't possibly make it better. I couldn't understand why they just couldn't "get over it" sooner, and get back to their lives. So I wound up feeling frustrated and distant from my grieving friend. Exactly the opposite of my intention.
This little book is what I've been missing: a tool that gives me real, practical ideas that I can use. The writing is clear, simple, and almost poetic. There's a lushness to Keogh's pages, and his ideas come out so tenderly, and so lovingly.
Keogh takes us inside the heart, mind, and body of someone in grief. Once there, he shows us how to be truly helpful, thoughtful, and a loving presence--in other words, how to be a true friend.
This book taught me what no one or no experience has ever taught me. It is a treasure that needs to be on everyone's bookshelf--required reading for the human experience!
My father died in August after a prolonged decline. Some days later I received Martin's book in the mail. It has been of very real help in a very deep way ever since. At first I was a little wary of the simple language and the straightforward style, which grated somewhat with my degree in Literatrure and Philosophy and my family's intellectualized approach to virtually everything. Despite this, I found myself drawn back to the book over and over again, and I discovered that I was careful to keep the book accessible. Soon I realized that 'As Much Time As It Takes' finds much of its power in its simplicity; it offers permission to feel different facets of grief through its unadorned and forthright enunciations of how this kind of grief feels, or that kind of grief feels, or how grief feels at this or that moment. I thought I knew grief from past experience; I forgot that each experience of deep grief is distinct. I thought I had done much of my grieving as my father declined (and I had), but I did not realize how much there was awaiting me after his death. 'As Much Time As It Takes' acted a bit like a guide to Michelangelo's David, reminding me that even when one perspective threatens to become familiar that one merely needs to shift to a slightly different vantage point to feel again the power of the event. And it seems to me that this is how we grieve, by feeling the grief over and over again, in different ways and sparked by different catalysts. The book also reminded me that it really was okay to let others know how I felt. I imagine that most people who have been through the grieving process in our culture remember being told, usually with great affection and sympathy, how one "must" be feeling or what one "must' want or need. "Oh, you must be feeling just devastated!" "You must need some time away right now." Sometimes these are correct, and sometimes they pass wide of the mark. In the latter case it can be very hard to feel like it is okay in our world to correct the sympathizer, but it can also be very, very important to do so.
This is a strong book written in a deceptively simple style. Keep it around to read when a friend loses someone to remind yourself of the little ways to be in the right place at the right time. Keep it around to read when you yourself are in grief to remind yourself how rich and complex the process is, and to support your efforts to remain true to yourself as you are surrounded by well intentioned wellwishers.