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Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On Paperback – May 5, 2009
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From Publishers Weekly
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
"Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On, edited by Mothering's Features Editor, Candace Walsh, is a collection of dynamic, reflective, well-written essays that deftly illuminate the transformative potential of loss. These are stories of brave women, including Mothering contributor Amé Solomon and former Managing Editor Rozella Kennedy, who used devastating circumstances to successfully reinvent their lives. If you've checked into the Heartbreak Hotel, let this inspiring book encourage you to take the next healing step."
"This collection of 29 essays, all written by women for women, aims to show that getting divorced does not equal failure and can be the start of a new, positive life Most divorce-themed books focus on legal or financial aspects or target a specific age group; this one allows women to recount their experiences as a theraputic exercise for themselves and other divorcées.
"A divorce is a shameful thing, or so we tend to think, says Candace Walsh, editor of the essay collection Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On. But rather than see divorce as something ignoble or embarrassing, Walsh says, we ought to put a failed marriage in its place: It was something that worked once but doesn't anymore. Viewed that way, a divorce is a healthy way to reclaim the rest of your life.
-Body + Soul
Top Customer Reviews
Some of the writing is frank and confessional: "I came hard watching girl-on-girl sex." Some is lyrical: "Grief begins to rise like a tide then, seeking that deep groove to flow into." Painful humor abounds: "I put the lawyer through law school, he put me in the loony bin. We called it even and got divorced."
I see myself in every story in the book, even the one written by an immigrant German ex-polygamist who left not only her husband, but her sister wife. Our lives couldn't be more disparate, but we have something in common - recovering from emotionally abusive relationships and becoming strong women.
When Sy, the 58-year-old I was dating last, told me that I was just like every woman who goes through a divorce, and he could basically tell me what stages to expect next, I said incredulously, "Thanks for letting me know I'm typical." At the time, it didn't sit well with me. I was just starting find myself, my voice, and my identity. I didn't want to be like anybody else. But after reading the stories in this book, I realize that, yes, I am typical. Not necessarily a bad thing. Every woman who experiences divorce has her own spin to put on it. Stories may overlap, but no two are identical. Each voice is unique and valuable. Each variation adds to the whole complex composition of "divorce."
The editor, Candace Walsh (great first name! and she spells it correctly!), along with a few of the authors, will be doing readings at Skylight Books on May 21. My growing posse of LA Divorcees and I will be in attendance, book in hand. Eager to meet the women who are exposing the fact that divorce is neither a 4-letter word nor the end of the world. Typically, it's the beginning.
This book is important for anyone who dares to dream, pursue goals, stumble, dust themselves off and stand up stronger. This book is for anyone who longs to do these things. You don't have to be married, divorced or a woman to appreciate the message in this book. It's for everyone.
This new book's chapter entitled, "The Love List" was written by my childhood friend & budding new author Julie Hammonds.
The author has so much to give. She a high school valedictorian, a varsity swimmer, a thoughtful friend & the recipient of a full scholarship to Harvard for her studies in biology. She's soft spoken with a terrific smile. She's lovely inside and out. She chose to study environmental science at UC Berkeley. When she married, they made their own kayaks & traveled waterways all over the U.S. and landed in Alaska. She's an environmentalist. He's a journalist.
Julie's greatest attribute (it's hard to pick one) is her thoughtful & inspired writing style. She's always shared her personal view of the world through beautiful poignant language....no less so when she was stunned by her own divorce.
"It began as so may things do in my life, with a list.Read more ›
Each essay has its element of gut wrenching sorrow, moments that make me a woman who has lost and loved, cry - yet, the sorrow is just a piece of the whole - these stories are monumental moments of jubilation - sorrow becomes freedom becomes joy.
I am neither married, nor divorced, but I celebrate the individuality of these voices that echo like a battle cry, "I will no longer be silent, I will no longer be fearful, I will awaken and I will be the woman I was meant to be."
No one enters marriage thinking of it crumbling just like that unpreserved bridal bouquet - brittle flowers turned to powder at the touch. But. Should it happen, there should be no shame, no stigmas - Ask Me About My Divorce opens up the dialog for each of us to share and talk about our relationships.
Like a Matryoshka (Russian Nested doll), these intricate tales stack neatly into an overarching thread of divorcing, and finding ones self and entirely new take on life - what could be more powerful and inspirational than that?
The personal surprise for me, however, came while reading a chapter called "The Love List". Being a recently unemployed, and sometimes discouraged mature woman, I decided to create my own "Love List", complete with crayons! No matter our age or the challenges we are facing, the words of this writer ring true. Our future plans must ". . . begin in the fertile ground of love." I'm not suggesting that my list will lead me to employment, but it's nice to have a visible and colorful list to remind me of the many Blessings I have, and of the dreams yet to be fulfilled. I hope others who are struggling will also "Pull out the crayons".
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I bought this for someone who had just gone through a divorce. She was really struggling to get through it. Read morePublished 11 months ago by suzie
I rarely rate five stars. This has been the most helpful book I have read as I go through divorce. I have probably read 20+ books on divorce from finance to novels, and this one... Read morePublished on May 29, 2014 by Chezron
I left my husband 5 months ago, and I was looking for a book about divorce for women that didn't assume that he left me, or I wanted him back. This was that book. Read morePublished on March 15, 2013 by Ashley E. M. M.
I found both comfort and relief in a presence of solidarity of womanhood I felt reading this. Just as stated, I gave my copy to an aquaintance for whom I hope this provides the... Read morePublished on August 16, 2011 by Linda Hofmann
I found Ask Me About My Divorce to be helpful and enlightening. Divorce affects everyone differently and that is something everyone needs to know and understand. Read morePublished on February 20, 2010 by Jeralee L. Josserand
The women in these 29 moving essays went through divorces that were sometimes devastating or brutal, but in hindsight, usually inevitable. Read morePublished on October 17, 2009 by Joan Price
When I first leafed through this book in our local independent bookstore, I loved the excerpts I skimmed. My eyes lingered on the story "Birth," which I read more closely. Read morePublished on July 7, 2009 by H. Jarvis
Being in the throes of divorce, I found this book at the perfect time and stayed up until 2 a.m. reading it last night. It was such a relief to read the words I've felt. Read morePublished on June 21, 2009 by Corbin
This book is full of compelling and hopeful stories - but they are almost all stories from the perspective of being in marriages that were deadening and where the woman feels a... Read morePublished on June 8, 2009 by E. White