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Rudy Simone

Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome Paperback – June 15, 2010

by Rudy Simone (Author)

4.5 1,428 ratings

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*Gold Medal Winner in the Sexuality / Relationships Category of the 2011 IPPY Awards*

* Honorary Mention in the 2010 BOTYA Awards Women's Issues Category *

Girls with Asperger's Syndrome are less frequently diagnosed than boys, and even once symptoms have been recognised, help is often not readily available. The image of coping well presented by AS females of any age can often mask difficulties, deficits, challenges, and loneliness.

This is a must-have handbook written by an Aspergirl for Aspergirls, young and old. Rudy Simone guides you through every aspect of both personal and professional life, from early recollections of blame, guilt, and savant skills, to friendships, romance and marriage. Employment, career, rituals and routines are also covered, along with depression, meltdowns and being misunderstood. Including the reflections of over thirty-five women diagnosed as on the spectrum, as well as some partners and parents, Rudy identifies recurring struggles and areas where Aspergirls need validation, information and advice. As they recount their stories, anecdotes, and wisdom, she highlights how differences between males and females on the spectrum are mostly a matter of perception, rejecting negative views of Aspergirls and empowering them to lead happy and fulfilled lives.

This book will be essential reading for females of any age diagnosed with AS, and those who think they might be on the spectrum. It will also be of interest to partners and loved ones of Aspergirls, and anybody interested either professionally or academically in Asperger's Syndrome.

Print length

240 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Jessica Kingsley Publishers Ltd
Publication date

June 15, 2010
Dimensions

6 x 0.55 x 9 inches
ISBN-10

1849058261
ISBN-13

978-1849058261
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Ruby Simone's approach is hands-on, and her writing style is easy to read. The chapters are short and give good tips to woman and girls with AS and the people closest to them. I don't know that I believe all the holistic stuff, but I think this book should be required reading for woman and girls who have been diagnosed with AS. -- A Girl Walks into a Bookstore Blog

Every chapter deals with the everyday things that occur in life, explaining how you could feel when you're in love, when you fancy someone, to what you do and should do when going on a date. Sexual relationships and sexual activity are clearly explained, as are how they are affected by sensory issues and whether sex is painful and annoying -- Asperger United

It is interesting the way temper meltdowns are described very accurately and are written just as I experience them, including crying, frustration, shouting, yelling, being sarcastic, becoming vicious, feeling faint or dizzy and that temper meltdowns often happen when we are hungry. -- Asperger United

This is a very readable and enlightening book for all Aspergrirls, their family, friends and involved others... This thoughtful account enthuses the reader and builds their understanding of the specific needs of Aspergirls; a highly recommended book. -- Youth in Mind

In the accessible and relevant 'Aspergirls', Rudy Simone takes the reader through the stages of life from childhood to old age, looking at issues such as the Aspergirl's 'meltdowns', 'stims' (self-stimulatory behaviour), literal thinking, socialising and sexuality. It is written in a touching, often humorous and very practical style, effectively providing a life manual for females with Asperger Syndrome. The anecdotes from Aspergirls she has interviewed broaden the reader's insight into what is must be like to live with this syndrome. -- Speech & Language Therapy in Practice

In a lovely style, Rudy Simone covers every aspect of personal and professional life, from early recollections of blame, guilt and savant skills to friendships, romance and marriage...Rudy identifies recurring struggles and areas where Aspergirls need validation, information and advice. As they recount their stories, anecdotes and wisdom, she highlights how differences between males and females on the spectrum are mostly a matter of perception and empowers Aspergirls to lead happy and fulfilled lives. -- Human Givens Journal

I can highly recommend this book to all Aspergirls and their parents, family, partners and professionals, as well as to all members of our community. With humour, love, liking and respect Rudy opens our eyes to the World of the Aspergirl, providing powerful insights on love, learning, sex, career, marriage, having children, friendships, puberty, diagnosis, emotions, health, aging and more...For too many years we have missed Aspergirls due to our current understanding of Asperger's syndrome being largely based on a male presentation. Rudy generously provides, through deep personal insight and her interviews with other Aspergirls, a broader definition and understanding, one that will help bridge the gap between Aspergirls and the non-spectrum population. -- Dr Michelle Garnett MPsych(Clin) PhD MAPS MCCP, Clinic Director and Clinical Psychologist, Minds & Hearts: A Specialist Clinic for Asperger's Syndrome and Autism

Rudy's book helps girls with AS to realize that they are not alone and lets them know that there are others who feel like thy do. But Rudy also does a thoughtful job of illustrating that not all girls with AS are the same. They have both talents and deficits and vary based on intelligence, level of imagination, and obsessions, just to name a few areas. -- Help! SOS for Parents

Many people, doctors and counsellors included, see AS (Autism Spectrum) as predominately affecting men. The Aspergirls is more often than not overlooked or diagnosed later in life. Rudy's book helps girls with AS to realize that they are not alone and lets them know that there are others who feel like they do. But Rudy also does a thoughtful job of illustrating that not all girls with AS are the same. They have both talents and deficits and vary based on intelligence, level of imagination, and obsessions, just to name a few areas.' - Help! S-O-S for Parents

'Specialists' books are all very well, but what people really, really need are the 'case histories' told from the inside. And so far this is the best I've seen. Aspergirls is a mix between Rudy's own experience and that of other Aspergirls, as well as pure advice, both to other Aspies as well as to Neurotypicals.

-- Bookwich blog

This book is a tremendous resource for Aspergirls, their parents, family, friends and professionals. Based on Ms. Simone's personal insight as well as her interviews of over 35 women on the spectrum, this book will serve as an inclusive reference manual. Each chapter is packed with information on sensory overload, guilt, dating, higher learning and career, medication, meltdowns and stomach issues to name only a few. At the end of each chapter are sections containing very practical suggestions for Aspergirls, and their parents for handling the multitude of issues that can accompany Asperger's syndrome. She also encourages Aspergirls to celebrate and cherish who they are and puts to rest some common myths about girls on the spectrum. She encourages us with statements such as, "Life is about making a contribution, not about being popular and fitting in." Ms. Simone is very candid and open about her own struggles and with bullying experiences. She also discusses the difficulties in identifying women on the spectrum. This book will serve as an excellent reference for the Aspergirl and those who love/work with her. -- Bonnie Kimpling-Kelly, teacher and behavior analyst

This book is an easy to read, sensitive and funny at times while presenting some serious matters to consider. The concerns are focused on the individual but inclusive of the parents, educator and the community surrounding them. Whether you are a parent of a child with Asperger Syndrome or know someone who is, this is a must read as it will not only provide the reader with a good insight and look into the lives of girls with Asperger Syndrome, but also make you laugh as you develop more compassion aside faith. -- Oren Shtayermman, Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders

Book Description

Award winning handbook for girls and women on the autism spectrum, perceptive and wise reflections and advice

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Jessica Kingsley Publishers Ltd; 1st edition (June 15, 2010)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1849058261
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1849058261
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.6 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.55 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #56,603 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #48 in Autism Spectrum Disorder
- #103 in Parenting Books on Children with Disabilities
- #1,203 in Psychology & Counseling

Customer Reviews:
4.5 1,428 ratings

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Rudy Simone

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Rudy Simone, now known as Artemisia Xene, is the author of 6 best-selling books on Asperger Syndrome as well as fiction books.

As Artemisia: "Sex and the Single Aspie" (JKP 2018) - a candid and honest look at Aspergirl sexuality written as memoir.

As Rudy Simone: "Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome" (JKP 2010), "Asperger's on the Job: Must-have Advice" (Future Horizons 2010) "22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man With Asperger Syndrome" (JKP 2009) "22 Things a Woman with Aspergers Wants her Partner to Know" (JKP 2012) and "Aunt Aspie's Guide to Life" (JKP 2016). Three of her books have won awards, including the Independent Publishers Gold medal(Ippy), Foreword Review Gold medal and a Living Now Silver medal. Her books have been translated into eleven other languages. She has also written an epic fantasy novel "Orsath" (Kindle).

As ARtemisia Xene: "Orsath", an epic fantasy (orignally The Fool Series), being released Dec. 2018 on Amazon exclusively, both paperback and kindle.

Artemisia has lectured at Autism/Asperger conferences around the world. Her website www.help4aspergers.com is the #1 resource in the world to find information on general Asperger traits, and on how AS manifests in females.

Artemisia Xene is also an award-winning singer/songwriter. Her albums "Thief of Dreams" "Gothic Blues" and "Penny Dreadful" were released as Rudy Simone and are readily available on Itunes or for free on soundcloud (station: ArtemisiaX). A 4th album is coming. You can watch videos on her youtube channel rudytutti, and support all her work and get personal rewards on her Patreon page (TheArtemisia)

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4.5 out of 5

1,428 global ratings

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Rebecca G

I felt so seen and understood by this author

Reviewed in the United States on February 20, 2023

Verified Purchase

I’m an adult woman who was recently diagnosed ASD-level 1, and I really enjoyed this book.

While I didn’t relate to every symptom discussed (for example, I don’t struggle with mutism), most of the topics were relevant to understanding my own ASD profile

This book helped to increase my understanding of how Aspergirls’ minds work in many different areas.

I found the author’s writing easy to follow and I think it's fair to say this book is empowering for women with level 1 autism spectrum disorder.

Glad I followed the advice to check this book out.

One person found this helpful

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Autie Angel

Definitely felt empowered after reading.

Reviewed in the United States on May 5, 2017

Verified Purchase

I am 35. I was self diagnosed until recently (with doctors) and this book helped me on my way to understand my adult autism discovery and quest for diagnosis. I was lucky and had a friend talk to me about her diagnosis and we discovered that I have so much in common with her. She suggested I get this book and I am so grateful I did. I can see how if people were looking for a "how to deal with autism guide" this might not have all the information desired. For me, new to learning about female autism, it was perfect. I was able to see my traits in this book and many things in the book were like reading snippets from my own life. It was so beneficial for me to feel less alone in my symptoms, which until now, I had no idea was Asperger's. I also have sensory processing (disorder). I dislike that it is called a disorder and personally refer to it as my spidey senses. It can be hard for a lot of autistics and even non-autistics to agree on a full symptom list I think, because the spectrum is so varied and diverse and I have seen some reviews saying this book did not relate to their experience with autism, but for me it was spot on. It gave me a far deeper understanding of not only my present but my past. I also got to understand my Mother better who I know now is on the spectrum as well. It you are a female seeking diagnosis I highly recommend reading this and Samantha Craft's work. Keep reading and keep discovering and you will find the tools to better understand where you or someone you know fit on the spectrum. There are helpful recommendations at the end of each chapter, but as I said, if you are looking for a more in depth how to, you might need an additional book. If you are looking for understanding and want to feel less along this book really helped me there. Discovering you are autistic later in life can be so much to handle. Don't hesitate to self advocate and reach out to those that can hold space for this intense discovery. There is a lot of excitement in understanding, but there can also be a lot of grief. Just keep learning more and you can figure it all out. The grief will pass. Autism doesn't mean we are broken. It means we are different, special, and unique, and that is so exciting!

18 people found this helpful

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Donna R.

Would give this 10 stars if I could

Reviewed in the United States on October 13, 2022

Verified Purchase

I'm so thankful that people like the author are willing to take the time to share their experiences with the rest of us. Although we had learned a lot about Asperger's with a male member of our family years ago, and knew that females could go undiagnosed, we had missed some of the markers with our 17yo daughter. I read this book in one sitting, underlining so many passages that were ah-ha moments, and explained so much. I especially love at the beginning she encouraged pursuing things even without a formal diagnosis. We had recently had our daughter tested, and was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, which was no surprise. But she had a deep depression about 3 years ago and his constantly been trying to battle out of it. There was always this underlying fog of why don't I fit in. After I read it, I had her read it and it's almost like a new confidence has come because she now has understanding.

11 people found this helpful

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Berit

The reason why I like this book

Reviewed in the United States on May 2, 2013

Verified Purchase

I chose this rating because I think I will enjoy finish to read it at that I will learn more than I knew before about my own problem. I think the way it is written is especially good, because it's easy to understand the meaning of each sentence. And then it gets easier to understand all the information that is given. I also find the picture on the outside of the book, very interesting. It shows that not everyone with asperger looks alike, and that we can feel like everyone else do, even though we have some difficulties that goes with us a lifetime.

Ofcourse everyone that reads it, needs to understand that everyone is different and that no asperger can be just set in a box that says "This is who you are, deal with it". I think this book make it really clear that we all are different individuals, but with the same diagnosis.

I would recommend it to all asperger-girls from 16 and older. I think it has to be read by people who are mature enough to handle the information in the right way. And from that age you would already have experienced a lot of the problems. It depends on the person if you are not ready for understanding or be willing to accept and so on.

5 people found this helpful

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Goose

so good

Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2019

Verified Purchase

best book ever!!! i read the whole thing in one sitting. I haven't done that with a book in several years. I don't even read very often anymore, but I could not put this book down. I am a self-diagnosed aspie (going in for professional diagnosis tomorrow, actually). I want to give this book to anyone who wants to understand me. Especially my mom.

Rudy writes in a way that is very relatable and easy to read--conversational style--but then she slips in very profound truths in such a subtle way that you don't even realize how deep it was until a couple sentences later and you have to go back and read it again to let it sink in.

I laughed and I cried and I felt suddenly not at all alone in the world!

I especially love how she gives advice at the end of each chapter. She really encourages you to focus on your strengths and work with your deficits and I love that. She offers somber understanding of ASD while gently showing you the positive direction you can take with it.

I ordered another book too and it was not nearly as good. THIS IS THE BEST BOOK! for both people with Asperger's and their loved ones who wish to understand them better.

I want to be friends with Rudy in real life. She's my hero.

5 people found this helpful

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lilou

intéressant

Reviewed in France on September 16, 2023

Verified Purchase

Apporte des informations intéressantes sur le spectre de l'autisme chez les femmes. Existe en Français une version traduite avec les mêmes informations mais la couverture est différente : L'asperger au féminin.

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Lina

Nice read!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 26, 2023

Verified Purchase

Good at educating on AS and the collection of testimonies from AS women is very interesting. I would have liked more “practical” advice but I guess this was not the purpose of the book.

dudù

Consigliato

Reviewed in Italy on February 16, 2023

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Consigliato

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Misqué

Has it's faults but is a good book for anyone young or old with confirmed or suspected Aspergers and their parent's too

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 7, 2017

Verified Purchase

A few chapters in I found myself wondering what it was that prompted me to buy the book. I am currently undergoing assessment for ASD and have been reading as mch as I can since my GP told me he suspects I may have it. I ordered a lot of book on the subject and this was the first on my hitlist because the table at the back of the book is like a description of myself, and this is what prompted me to buy the book. Well, in conjunction to the rave reviews on here.

I am going to have to say the first few chapters in, I was bitterly disappointed with my purchase. I'm in the UK and I found it too American and didn't like the way the author used "we", and "us" constantly and with such sweeping statement. I felt like the book and what she was saying wasn't applicable to me at all and found myself feeling lost again and like I was clutching at straws. However, I persevered and I'm glad I did. So many of the chapters were helpful to me and I picked up some good tips along the way. In the beginning I thought I'd end up giving 1 or 2 stars but now I've read the whole thing cover to cover I have to give it 4 stars because I felt like in the end, I could actually relate to it quite a lot and I liked the perspectives and experience of AS women too.

I like the way the end of each chapter has a small section on "Advice to Aspergirls" and "Advice to Parents". I'm not going to remember everything I read but I can see me dipping in and out of this book in the future as necessary to remind myself of some of the suggestions that were made, especially when it comes to employment and relationship. Even tho I am 35 years of age, I think my parents could also benefit from reading this book to help give them a better understanding so that maybe they can stop feeling guilty and blaming themselves as though it is somehow their fault and they are somehow bad parents for not spotting anything was wrong when I was a child.

Even though I am only half way through being assessed and do not have a formal diagnosis yet, this book has helped me understand and accept myself and that can't be a bad thing can it. I would recommend it but just be aware of some of the negatives I have pointed out. I should add that in the foreword/intro she does mention that she is or can be quite random and you may find she jumps about a bit in the book and you may find it strange or whatever. So don't say you weren't warned :-) Is a good book all the same.

24 people found this helpful

Adult Aspie

I laughed, I cried, I found myself!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 5, 2011

Verified Purchase

In typical Aspie fashion, as soon as I learned I had the syndrome I set out to find out as much as I could about it (kind of strange I know, since I've lived with it for over 40 years!). Having waded through two books on the subject so far by NT clinicians/'experts' and felt alternately patronised and at least partially misunderstood, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind now that if you truly want to know what it's like to have AS, you need to read books by authors who have it. Rudy Simone is one such author, and a great one at that.

From the very first page of this book to the very last I finally felt that here was someone who had lived a near replica of my life - apart from her reported terrible childhood at home, which I didn't share, we could be twins. She writes in a chatty, upbeat style that is really easy to read (I got through the book in a day) and I found myself annotating the pages for my family - copious 'YES!' comments started appearing and I lost count of the amount of times I stopped in my tracks at the sheer accuracy of the account. This is the first book I've read on the subject that has made me laugh, cry and feel genuinely understood and positive. And they say that Aspies have emotional difficulties - don't believe a word of it! Unsurprisingly with a syndrome as diverse as this, there are still one or two little things that aren't relevant to me (for instance, I disagree with Rudy when she says we would prefer a small shop to a supermarket - I feel I can be anonymous in a supermarket, whereas in a small shop I always feel hassled by assistants), but I found far less to disagree with than in the other books I've read and my overwhelming feeling about the book was positive.

If you are a female Aspie, or if you have any female in your family with AS or suspected AS, I cannot recommend this book highly enough. If you or a 'specialist' have ever dismissed a diagnosis for your loved one because the books tell you Aspies should have impaired imagination and your loved one has the most vivid imagination you've ever come across, or because we're supposed to be 'cold and unemotional' and your loved one is more touchy-feely than any NT you've ever met, this book will enlighten you. In fact, you don't even need to read the whole book - the chart of female symptoms in the back of the book is worth the price alone.

As it says in the subtitle, a truly empowering book.

8 people found this helpful

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