Attack Girls' Swim Team vs. the Undead
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Okay, let's start off by saying that if you're the kind of person who sees a title like Attack Girls Swim Team vs. the Undead and does not immediately think "THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER", you're probably in the wrong place. Because that's exactly what I thought when I saw the title of this movie, and, well, I'm the guy who's writing the review. If we're coming from entirely different mindsets... you know. And while the movie doesn't live up to the promise of the title, it's certainly good for a romp.
Aki (Sasa Handa) is the new girl at school. Keeps to herself, quiet, that sort of thing. One day, Sayaka (Yuria Hidaka), seeing her at the side of the pool and mistaking her for someone else, pushes her in as a prank. The two of them become fast friends after that, but this is no simple friendship drama. Because, after all, there must be an evil mastermind experimenting on the school (where else but in Japan?), administering a "vaccine" for a cold that's going around. But, yeah, vaccine? It makes zombies of everyone but Aki and the girls' swim team, who must find a cure.
No, it's not a great movie, and most of the time it's not even a good movie. But on the Joe Bob Briggs blood, breasts, and beasts scale, it gets top marks in all three categories (including one scene between Handa and Hidaka that wouldn't be out of place in an Emmanuelle flick), and it adds a continual element of just plan weird, in that style the Japanese do so well. The climax of the movie is just jaw-dropping. I mean, really, off-the-scale, [censored for Amazon consumption] nuts. And hysterically funny, if that kind of humor works for you.
So, yeah, not a good movie, but it's the kind of bad movie that transcends its badness and becomes something great. This is one you owe it to yourself to watch. ****
Aki (Sasa Handa) is a student with a troubled past. She was kept prisoner and abused by an enigmatic professor and trained to be an assassin. She had just transferred to a school at the worst possible time. There's a mysterious virus in the school and students and teachers are being rounded up to receive a vaccine to counter the virus. However, the very same vaccine supposed to protect them from infection is actually a drug that turns everyone to flesh-eating zombies. Luckily, Aki skipped on the vaccine, and the swim team is immune to the virus because of the chemicals present in the school's swimming pool--chlorine. Aki finds out that the man responsible for the injections is the same man who sexually abused and kept her prisoner.
I was expecting a film much like "Wild Zero", "Sars Wars: Bangkok Zombie Crisis", and "Meatball Machine" when I put the DVD in the player. The film is pretty bad, but I have to admit I couldn't help snickering and giggling while I was watching it. The film is somewhat entertaining in a "guilty" type of way (or maybe I have bad taste?).Read more ›
Here's the skinny on this Asian soft-core horror flick - it's not as good as 'Onechanbara', 'Machine Girl', 'Tokyo Zombie', 'Stacy', 'Meatball Machine', or 'Tokyo Gore Police' as far as solid, campy horror goes. It's at least as good as 'Zombie Hunter Rika', 'Captive Factory Girls' (both 1 and 2), 'Maid-Droid', 'Sexy Battle Girls', or 'Cruel Restaurant' as far as action/horror flix go. And it's WAY better than 'Female Prisoner Sigma', 'Yo-Yo Girl Sexy Cop', 'Sars Wars', 'Maid`s Secret' (both 1 and 2), 'Ninja Vixens', 'Kekko Kamen', 'Lady Ninja Kasumi' (1 through 4), or any of the 'Lady Ninja Kaeda' flix.
These last ones are ALL soft-core, and most pretty much suck on a variety of levels. This film is ridiculous, sure, but it's good for more than a few laughs and has copious amounts of nudity to keep me away from late-nite Ron Jeremy flix on satellite, so there's something to be grateful for right there...
As far as I could understand it Aki (Sasa Handa,) a mysterious water assassin (?) (!) decides she really pines to be a schoolgirl, so she doffs her machine gun amphibious invasion ensemble and dons a school uniform and just shows up at a girl's school. Through a ridiculous mole and bruise identification subplot (don't ask,) she realizes her long lost twin sister already goes to school there. Unfortunately her arch nemesis has joined the faculty and is behind the nefarious plot to turn the students and faculty into zombies with a new vaccine. There are some terrible special effects (watch particularly for the astonishing bomb detonation and the aforementioned laser deployment scenes,) a juggling zombie math teacher, undead frivolity in the faculty lounge, and a scissor-related big toe amputation. Apparently the moral of the story is "don't let the teachers have a chainsaw" or perhaps "beware of heat strain." I cannot divulge more.
There are some eye-rolling adult situations (did I mention the laser beam?Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I can not rate this dvd . I never got to see it. It would not play on my 5 DVD players. it came up not in my region. I never saw that before.Published on November 26, 2013 by tyrone bass
Great movie! and something you would totally come to expect from the asian horror genre. I liked it alot. dPublished on November 14, 2013 by Ryan Jay Meyer
I found this a very entertaining movie, the fight sequences were OK, however I found the ending a bit weak and left me wondering what happened.Published on September 28, 2011 by Bob Hightower
no subtitles, but no need. Fun. All around.
I'd swim with these babes anyday in any water at any depth. Read more
Though this really isn't an "undead" movie, it is good in its own right. I enjoyed the campiness of the movie along with the gratuitous violence and sexiness. Read morePublished on December 9, 2010 by Chitopher
Many countries have tried to test adult video with an actual storyline. One film would be equivalent to an X-rated film and another minus the hardcore sex scenes and thus gets an... Read morePublished on October 1, 2009 by [KNDY] Dennis A. Amith
A new "vaccine" turns high-school students and teachers into flesh-eating zombies. Luckily the girls swim team is unaffected and they must fight for their survival against the... Read morePublished on August 2, 2009 by ramirez98
First and foremost, this movie is atrocious. Some of it feels like a really bad after school special with a bad budget. Read morePublished on June 23, 2009 by Jason
Knew movie was gonna be a B movie,but could have done without the soft porn.Published on April 9, 2009 by K. Wright