- Series: NTC Self-Help
- Paperback: 336 pages
- Publisher: McGraw-Hill Education; Revised edition (March 19, 2008)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0071548424
- ISBN-13: 978-0071548427
- Product Dimensions: 5.9 x 0.8 x 8.9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (169 customer reviews)
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #17,697 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk (NTC Self-Help) Paperback – March 19, 2008
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From the Back Cover
What the experts are saying. .
"An insightful and creative contribution to managing the complexity of choosing a life partner. I heartily recommend it."
--Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find
"I have never read a book with more practical wisdom for finding real love and a healthy marriage."
--William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage
"The tool for finding the love of your life. John Van Epp and his RAM model make it possible for you to assess the five key areas when picking a partner."
--Jon Carlson, Psy.D., Ed.D., author of Time for a Better Marriage
"Don't be part of the 'where-was-this-book-when-I-needed-it?' crowd. It's not too late--read it now!"
--Pat Love, Ed.D., author of The Truth About Love and Hot Monogamy
. It's happened to everyone: you meet someone and fall madly in love and all good judgment and perspective are thrown out the window--until slowly you realize this person isn't who you thought he or she was. Use the proven program used by thousands of singles worldwide--and break the destructive dating patterns that have prevented your happiness in the past.. .
Based on years of research on marital and premarital happiness, this guide maximizes your potential of finding �the one� by giving you the tools to focus on the crucial characteristics of a loving, lasting relationship.. .
These easy-to-use techniques will help you:. .
- Ask the right questions to inspire meaningful, revealing conversations with your partner .
- Analyze your partner's level of conscientiousness--considered the window to the soul.
- Judge character based on compatibility, relationships skills, friends, and patterns from family and previous relationships.
- Resolve your own emotional baggage so you're ready for a healthy relationship.
- Open your eyes to problems in the relationship and stop giving a jerk too many chances.
- Identify--and break--destructive dating patterns that prevent you from finding a life partner.
Years of clinical research along with observations from his own private practice have inspired Dr. John Van Epp to develop universally applicable, proven strategies to navigate the complexities of love. His foolproof method will help you determine exactly what the person you date will be like as a spouse so you can spot the gem among the jerks.. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
About the Author
John Van Epp, Ph.D., conducts seminars and workshops worldwide on marriage and relationships. His popular video program, “How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk,” is being taught by certified instructors internationally in thousands of churches, singles organizations, educational and agency settings, and throughout the military. Visit his website at www.johnvanepp.com.
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Top Customer Reviews
The author introduces a RAM model which shows the sequence of steps you take which will lead to commitment. You have to do A before you do B. For example, you have to know someone before you trust someone. You have to trust someone before you get physical with someone, etc... When people are anxious for intimacy, they tend to skip over this and create a pseudo-intimacy which leads to a broken heart.
My favorite chapter is the one that deals with a person's conscience. The author warns that you cannot be someone else's conscience for them. You cannot be the angel on their shoulder that whispers to them to do the right thing. It's much better to pick someone with a healthy and consistent conscience in the first place so you don't have to worry about them mistreating you when they're out of your sight. My mom did this with my dad, always trying to keep him in line like he was her son. It didn't work. It lead to mutual disrespect and eventual divorce.
This is best book I've read on relationships and one of my favorite go-to books when I'm trying to decide if I'm moving the relationship too fast. Highly recommended.
I found this book particularly useful with online dating relationships, where there is often the FEELING of knowing someone without actually having spent time together. He addresses this particular topic head on, arguing that sharing/talking is only one part of the essential equation, and must be combined with shared experiences (togetherness) over a period of time. I am currently working through the book with an online dating partner (having read it previously, outside of a relationship), and we are both finding it incredibly useful in delving into the issues of our own growing relationship as well as the patterns and mistakes of past relationships. (WARNING: You must be willing to deal with the issues in your own life in order to fully take advantage of what this book offers!!)
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Don't care for the name though. Should be "How to profile yourself and others to have the best life and relationships ever " :-)