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on February 20, 2011
As the father of two teenagers, I found this book invaluable. I'm sure other parents here can empathize when I say I shudder at the thought of the increasing presence of huge ships in the lives my children. I certainly remember the strain I caused so long ago for my own parents when I began experimenting with huge ships. The long inter-continental voyages that kept my mom and dad up all night with worry. Don't even get me started on the international protocols when transporting perishable cargo. To think, I was even younger than my kids are now! huge ships are everywhere and it doesn't help that the tv and movies make huge ships seem glamorous and cool. This book helped me really approach the subject of huge ships with my kids in an honest and non judgmental way. Because of the insights this book provided, I can sleep a little better and cope with the reality that I can't always be there to protect my kids from huge ships, especially as they become adults. I'm confident that my teens, when confronted by a huge ship, are much better prepared to make wiser decisions than I did. At the very least my children certainly know that they can always come to me if they have any concerns, questions or just need my support when it comes to the topic of huge ships.
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on December 26, 2013
Given that there is a huge ship bearing down on me RIGHT NOW I am extremely disappointed that I cannot get inst
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on December 25, 2010
Read this book before going on vacation and I couldn't find my cruise liner in the port. Vacation ruined.
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on August 21, 2013
When on my jet ski in the Chesapeake bay this summer I was confronted by a huge ship moving up the channel. You can imagine my horror when I realized I had only 1 hour and 45 minutes or so before the lumbering behemoth was sure to pass through my area. With no place to hide and only a water jet propelled small craft beneath me for transport, I quickly withdrew my Kindle Fire from the storage compartment beneath my seat and preceded to read the book How To Avoid Huge Ships. One hour later and with only 45 minutes to spare, I implemented the expert advice provided by the author and turned my jet ski in the opposite direction of the huge ship to avoid certain disaster.
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on December 26, 2013
I wish I'd read this highly informative title in the late 90s. My husband and I both suffer from PTHSCD (post-traumatic huge ship collision disorder) which we acquired while piloting our own huge ship. I remember it like it was yesterday -- we were carrying over 3 million gallons of blue paint to Morocco when, wouldn't you know it, we collided with our competitors. They had about 4 million gallons of red-brown on board, and before we knew it, we were all marooned.
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on October 6, 2015
There is nothing to address the very problematic issue of alien ships, which can also be quite huge. You can read the book and still be at high risk for abduction. What good is that?
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on January 29, 2013
Stumbled across this while looking for books on how to attract huge ships. This book is awful and vaguely racist.
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on December 21, 2010
I bought How to Avoid Huge Ships as a companion to Captain Trimmer's other excellent titles: How to Avoid a Train, and How to Avoid the Empire State Building. These books are fast paced, well written and the hard won knowledge found in them is as inspirational as it is informational. After reading them I haven't been hit by anything bigger than a diesel bus. Thanks captain!
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on April 22, 2015
I don't know if it was the pressure of early adult life or the demands of college, but I began to experiment with huge ships in my late teens. I began by looking at huge ship magazines in the basement when my parents weren't around. Then one day, my mom came home early and unexpectedly caught me in the act. Both of my parents were furious. They asked me where I go the magazine from and I said I found it and that I thought it only contained articles on small watercraft. As a result, I started to sneak out at night, telling my parents that I was headed to a friend's house to watch Full House, but in reality, I was in the library, reading up on huge ships. As my career developed, I found an apartment that I could afford and I moved out of my parents’ house. My interest in huge ships only grew. My apartment became a center for trafficking huge ship paraphernalia: model huge ships, pictures, of huge ships; life preserves – you name it. Eventually some neighbors complained and the owner of the apartment building had me evicted. By that time, I was so far gone that I didn’t care and I moved into a hostel. It was the perfect place to continue my pursuit of huge ships. The rent was cheap, drifters came and went, everyone minded their own business, and once in a while a new person would come along with scale models of huge ships in Turkey. We had a lot of wild nights and I was having trouble holding down my job. Eventually got fired.
One day it dawned on me that if I don't get away from huge ships, I'll end up dead. By pure luck, I ran into a fellow who went through the same thing and he recommend Trimmer's book. Between the book and my support group, I made progress and got back on my feet again.
Last night I almost turned left out of the parking lot instead turning right, as I've done routinely for the last 6 months. Turning left would have meant that I was heading to the Port of Baltimore where huge ships are present everywhere: horns blowing, sailors lashing gear to decks, and merchants teasingly gesturing to the gangplanks as they ask passersby if they want to go for a voyage on a great, big, huge ship. I started to imagine the wakes in the bay and the frolicking of tugs as they pull and push these huge ships in and out of the port. There was a burning desire inside of me: my mouth started to salivate; my hands were trembling; and my eyes darted left and right as they searched for an answer. I thought that maybe I could just go to the port and find one or two huge ships and it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Call it a voice in my head, an angel on my shoulder, or Trimmer's book in my glove box, but I turned right and headed home instead. My support group had a meeting last night and I told them about my near stumble. It felt good to tell everyone that I did not fall victim to weakness. I have my beloved support group and my dearest John W. Trimmer to thank for 6 months - huge ship free.
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on August 12, 2015
This book is the better known effort by Captain Trimmer, who also wrote the earlier, similarly styled books “How to Park Your Aircraft Carrier” and “Sticking Your Head in the Microwave: A Cautionary Tale”.

As I think we all know, huge ships are a huge problem, even in 2015. No matter what we seem to do, huge ships seem to end up everywhere they don’t belong: swimming pools, dance recitals, professional sporting events, bar mitzvahs, lurking in the shadows of your selfie with friends, etc. It’s something the American public needs to take seriously and become better informed on.

To this end, I bit the bullet and got this book. I have to say, as someone who lives in an area known for huge ships, I, nor anybody I know, has been struck or accosted by a huge ship since I picked up this book. I didn’t realize how liberating it could be to no longer feel like I couldn’t leave my home without a huge ship appearing seemingly out of nowhere, with no other purpose but to run me, my friends, and my family down. I still lock my doors at night, but the nightmares of a ship horn wailing far off in the distance, moving closer and closer menacingly, have almost completely stopped. My wife is sharing a bed with me for the first time in decades.

Captain Trimmer: You’ve saved my life, skipper!
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