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I read this book for a few reasons. It was recommended on a podcast as a touching memoir by a writer with a good sense of humor. I also read it in order to improve my understanding of transgendered people and gender confirmation surgery. I also enjoy a good memoir, especially one that broadens my knowledge and perspective. Home run on all counts. That's my lame attempt at a ball joke!
Chris was born an anatomical female, but that never felt right to him. His family just assumed that he was tomboyish or possibly a mannish lesbian. He came out to his family after college. They were supportive, but they certainly made some missteps along the way as they struggled to understand. The memoir focuses mostly on Chris' adulthood and his very difficult journey through hormone replacement and gender confirmation surgery. He did all of this while trying to keep his job in his father's advertising company and while trying to keep friends and date women. His initial impulse was to relocate and start fresh with people who only knew him as Chris. He took the more difficult path of allowing friends and family to accompany and support him during years of changes. He did all of this with grace and good humor.
One criticism of this book is that it presents an unrealistic picture of transgender acceptance. True, Chris comes from a wealthy family who were willing to help with expensive surgeries that are not covered by insurance. He also lived in a liberal community and worked in typically liberal creative field. He also had a predominately positive experience with friends and with his medical team. He acknowledges this and knows that others are not as fortunate. However, I think that he deserves a lot of credit for the level of acceptance that he received. He was honest and direct with people, asked for help, and was funny. In other words, he was himself and people accepted him.
The sections about the surgeries are extremely interesting and detailed. Frankly, I had not thought about the amount of time and work that goes into this. It is more than just hormones and reshaping flaps of skin. Chris wanted to go "all the way" with gender confirmation surgery. He had a mastectomy, hysterectomy, and surgeries to construct testicles and a functioning penis. Anyone who thinks that being transgendered is a fad or a choice should read the sections about surgery. No one would put themselves through something like that for fun or attention. You do that to save your life and to feel right in your body.
Sadly, Chris' experience of loving friends and family will not be the same as most. However, I think this book offers hope. It also provides a lot of information and some good tips on how to be respectful to transgendered people. Additionally, it puts a very human face on this nice family and their son. Unfortunately, the people who really need to read this book will never pick it up. Maybe word-of-mouth marketing will work here too.
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