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Showing 1-10 of 23 reviews(Verified Purchases). See all 35 reviews
on February 3, 2014
It took me a while to adjust my mental filters to actually hear what the author had written, but I think I get it. It took a lot of effort. This is an interesting perspective, but I think a valid one. The writing is a bit brash, but if you can get past the attiude, there is a lot of very good information. The view is very different from almost every other candy coated book I've yet read on BDSM. Things are presented as "this is how it is" and isn't all that "pretty". It is dark and written purely from a POWER point of view. I would never recommend this book for a beginner, but I would recommend it for anyone who has been in the BDSM realm (I expressly avoided saying "Lifestyle" here). This work comes under the "informed consent" type of information - what your mother didn't tell you about BDSM. It tends to be EXTREMEIST and pushes the boundries of aceptibility (IMHO), but those things happen in BDSM - which is WHY I consider this a good book. Alternate points of view are important to me and I can learn something from (nearly) anyone. If you buy this book, engage your brain! Filter and process according to what you know and understand. This is NOT middle of the road - there are always those who either lust for raw power or to bury their own identity in selfless service. This book assumes those extremes. I'd only recommend this book to someone who really is on a quest to "understand and accept", not for anyone who is just casually investigating or learning or brand-new.
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on February 7, 2016
While there are some good points made by the author, I feel like there are too many bad points made by the author. Not only that, but her ego shows throughout the book and she is very much in the school of one twue way and I have a low tolerance of people who preach that. If you're looking for a book that'll introduce you to the basics of BDSM, this is not it. I mean, she considers works of fiction as resources. I found that to be quite a joke as Story of O and the movie Secretary aren't exactly educational resources.
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on February 4, 2014
There was a lot of good information and I enjoyed the author's knowledge insight. It is a very helpful book in understanding the terms and meanings in the lifestyle of BDSM.

However, there were so many grammatical errors and misspelled words that it kept kicking me out of the narrative. Also, there would be references to facts that the author states were discussed earlier in the book. I thought I had missed something and spent a lot of time trying to back track and see where I had missed the reference. It turned out that somehow the referenced text showed up later in the book.
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on January 18, 2013
This book is simply ....I'm at a loss for words. Firstly to the editors: GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION CHECKS!! Argh! Ok, the book is written from an entirely higher point of view then us minnions. When I say higher, I do mean a higher intellect and experience showing us poor uneducated peasants of BDSM - the One True Way. Being an avid student of BDSM, and a lady of much experience I found this book boring, shocking in its attitude and a very negative description of the BDSM world. Patronising and difficult to read. Every second word was italicised which was very very annoying. The words Play, Scene, Slave, Frogs (a new description for the bad people),knife play, every - other -type -of - play is in italics!!! Argh again!! One of the many ridiculous points which really shocked me, whilst highlighting the importance and indeed indepth communication levels within the Power exchange relationships, it then went on to say "granted, the sub typically opens him/herself up more so than the Dominant in that respect, because lets face it, who wants a wimpy Dominant"...WTF??!!! Do not read this book, do not buy this book. Its an insult to those of us who value each and every member of our community regardless of their orientation, fetishes and choices.
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on December 21, 2016
Informative, yet since I'm a female submissive
I found the constant pronoun references a bit tedious.
I do understand that male subs and female subs need a book geared to them.
It would be better if the author committed to a certain pronoun.
My opinion
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on June 6, 2012
I am so happy that I did not spend twenty dollars to read this book. But even five dollars for the Kindle version was a waste of money.
This book should have been written as an article in twenty pages or less if not for the constant repeating of definitions.
There is nothing here that you can't find on the internet in ten minutes time.
Save your money.
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on February 4, 2013
I think this is the perfect book to read for people interested or confused about the lifestyle. It breaks everything down into understandable terms and gives you information from ALL aspects. I'm reading it just to expand my knowledge about the lifestyle. It's not a story book with commercialized scenes like the "%0 Shades" franchise is. This details facts.
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on October 5, 2012
I had been reading the BDSM fiction stories and felt compelled to learn more about this elusive and intriguing lifestyle. I loved every second of reading the naked truth.
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on March 8, 2015
Highly recommend, Awesome book for the newbie, very informative, have a better understanding of this lifestyle after reading this book, Love it.
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on June 5, 2014
this book uses basic English to take a deep dive into the psychology of dominance and submission life style. recommended for anyone with an interest at any level.
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