The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Revised and Updated Edition) Paperback – March, 2003

I'm a working mother of a 2-month-old baby girl, our first child, preparing to return to work. I hesitated in buying this book because (1) I was dubious about Attachment Parenting (AP) and its merits and (2) there were so many negative reviews stating that the book is a major guilt trip for anyone who can't or won't follow the Sears's suggestions to the letter.

I absolutely did not find this book to be an attachment parenting manifesto. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised that many of the tenants of the AP movement are in line with my (desired) parenting style rather than some sort of granola/coffee shop socialist/impossible to execute approach to life with a child. The Sears give suggestions for all different scenarios, AP or not. For example, while they do state many times that breast feeding is best, they also give plenty of information about a safe and loving way to bottle feed if you can't or won't breastfeed. Other reviewers said that the book makes them feel that if they're not breastfeeding, sharing the bed, quitting their jobs, and wearing their baby everywhere (including to the bathroom), that they are horrible parents. I did not feel that way at all. The Sears provide different ways of handling feeding, sleeping, and so on, and encourage you to make your own choice. I have done some things that they have suggested, and some not. I breastfeed and waited 2 months before bottle feeding expressed milk. I've tried baby wearing, but I have one of those rare babies who doesn't like to be held a lot who screams her head off when I put her in a sling. So she spends a lot of time in her bouncy seat wherever I am, instead of on me. I did not quit my job, and she will be going into daycare soon. She does not sleep in our bed, as I am terrified of smothering her, and because I need some sleep myself. So she sleeps in a bassinet next to our bed and we're able to attend to her immediately. The Sears were pretty clear about being anti-pacifier and because of that we instructed the hospital not to give her one under any circumstance. After spending several consecutive hours with our fingers/thumbs in her mouth (and I couldn't put her to the breast for hours because of cracked and bleeding nipples), our resolve crumbled and we gave her a pacifier...then ran to the store to buy several more. But I didn't feel the need to throw away the book once we "went against" it.

I took the advice of another reviewer and combined this book with Penelope Leach's Your Baby and Child and have found both to be valuable resources.

The Sears' overall message (as well as Penelope Leach's) is that you need to be open-minded as a parent, and do what works best for your baby, for you, and your lifestyle. It will be next to impossible to find something that parrots back to you everything you think you should be doing--or want to be doing. Parenting is hard, and it is a learning experience. This book is a good guide (not instruction manual) through that process.

I'm kind of surprised at some of the negative reviews of this book. Peole keep saying that co-sleeping and attachment parenting encourage undisciplined children, but if you read the follow-up book, "The Discipline Book," you'll see that's not necessarily the case. If a child knows she can trust you (through early experiences), she will be much less likely to have discipline problems later. Anyway, I got "The Discipline Book" before "The Baby Book" and was pleasantly surprised that it encourages setting limits APPROPRIATE TO THE CHILD and sees discipline as a continuum and not a one-time, spanking kind of thing. Their method of childrearing just seems totally natural to me, the kind of things mothers and fathers did for thousands of years before the medical establishment and society started butting in on childrearing. I think the book is a must for any new parent!

I was sad to consult this book one day and find out that mydaughter had 'outgrown' it. I loved this book and would give it toabsolutely everyone who is expecting a baby, or has one. I would give it to total strangers if I could afford it! The Sears learned through experience and allowed their children to teach them how to lovingly parent, guide development and teach self discipline. This book reinforced every thing I learned about babies and caring for them in endocrinology classes, and had the realistic information needed when I actually became a parent.

I used this book with my first child, then bought the ebook (not a Kindle, so I won't say!), then gave my hard copy to a friend. I then found another copy at the library bargain book sale and bought it for a friend who is pregnant. It's sooooo thorough. I love the Sears' philosophy. Parents should be loving, and do what works for them! But to get an idea of what people go through for their kids -- it's NOT ALWAYS EASY, but you don't become a parent to have an easy life, and you now have a little human who needs you. I think they give a really accurate picture of some of the time and energy it takes, but it will pay off when your child is independent, respectful, and loving. Don't short change your child later by taking shortcuts when they're babies. Yes, you will be sleep-deprived, scared of rolling over on your baby, and maybe people will look at you weird for sleeping with your baby or for nursing your toddler. But do what works for you, and, as they say in the book, say "My doctor says to do it" because Doctor Sears said so! I have no regrets -- nursed my oldest till he was two, shared our bed with him, and now we are doing the same with our second baby. Our oldest is just five and doing so well, so independent and caring!