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The Baby Jesus Butt Plug Paperback – February 23, 2004
- Print length104 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherEraserhead Press
- Publication dateFebruary 23, 2004
- Dimensions5.5 x 0.25 x 8.5 inches
- ISBN-100972959823
- ISBN-13978-0972959827
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Editorial Reviews
From the Inside Flap
--3:AM MAGAZINE
"What's most bizarre is that none of this seems to be there for pure shock value....Presented in such a matter of fact manner that it is as if the last thing the author wants is for you to be shocked..."
--WRATH JAMES WHITE on Razor Wire Pubic Hair
"This strange, bleak, and utterly weird tale has everything you would expect from the master...psuedo-horror, sci-fi, twisted religion, and dark satire."
--KEVIN WOODS, director of Wiseguys vs. Zombies
"Reading Carlton Mellick III's BABY JESUS BUTT PLUG is like hopping into an LSD-filled time machine with David Cronenberg, William Burroughs, J.G. Ballard, Philip K. Dick, and George Romero at the controls. This tale of office drones and disposable clones is a splatterpunk odyssey, a cautionary tale of corporate omnipotence, and a possible blueprint of the future of the nuclear family. Touching, poignant, horrorific, nightmarish, and beautiful all at the same time, BABY JESUS BUTT PLUG is the work of an uncompromising visionary who lances the boil of his seething imagination with the tip of his pen..."
--TRENT HAAGA, star of Terror Firmer, Troma's Edge TV, and co-writer of Citizen Toxie
"Through childlike narration Mr. Mellick can present to his reader some of the most curious and knee-slapingly hysterical blaspheme."
--IAN DAVID MCGOWEN
"There is depth behind his simplistic prose, and humor all around it. What at first seems unsophisticated quickly becomes a firm identity to the characters, and you realize the intelligence behind the naivety."
--SCHTINKY REVIEWS
From the Back Cover
"Easily the craziest, weirdest, strangest, funniest, most obscene writer in America."
- GOTHIC MAGAZINE
"Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles... and the kinkiest fans!"
- CHRISTOPHER MOORE, author of The Stupidest Angel
"If you haven't read Mellick you're not nearly perverse enough for the twenty first century."
- JACK KETCHUM, author of The Woman and The Girl Next Door
"Carlton Mellick III is one of bizarro fiction's most talented practitioners, a virtuoso of the surreal, science fictional tale."
- CORY DOCTOROW, author of Little Brother
"Bizarre, twisted, and emotionally raw--Carlton Mellick's fiction is the literary equivalent of putting your brain in a blender."
- BRIAN KEENE, author of The Rising and Dead Sea
"Carlton Mellick III exemplifies the intelligence and wit that lurks between its lurid covers. In a genre where crude titles are an art in themselves, Mellick is a true artist."
- THE GUARDIAN
"Just as Pop had Andy Warhol and Dada Tristan Tzara, the Bizarro movement has its very own P. T. Barnum-type practitioner. He's the mutton-chopped author of such books as Electric Jesus Corpse and The Menstruating Mall, the illustrator, editor, and instructor of all things Bizarro, and his name is Carlton Mellick III."
- DETAILS MAGAZINE
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Eraserhead Press (February 23, 2004)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 104 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0972959823
- ISBN-13 : 978-0972959827
- Item Weight : 5 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.25 x 8.5 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #337,221 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2,671 in Fiction Satire
- #3,557 in Contemporary Literature & Fiction
- #18,582 in Literary Fiction (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Carlton Mellick III is the Wonderland Book Award-winning author of over 45 novels, including Quicksand House, Bio Melt, Cuddly Holocaust and Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, among others. In 2013, he was named one of the top 20 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian UK.
His work has appeared in The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror, The Best Bizarro Fiction of the Decade, and Vice Magazine, and has been translated into Italian, German, Russian, Spanish, Polish, French and Japanese.
He lives in Portland, Oregon, where he obsesses over comic books, micro-brews, video games, and K-pop dance routines. Visit him online at carltonmellick.com
Customer reviews
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Our poor couple just feels so empty that they decide to go a backyard breeder to pick up a pet baby. You can even get a clone baby of someone famous, if you like, and the baby Jesus clones are all the rage. But there is a dark side to this pet trade: the heinous abusers who use the pet babies as anal sex toys, and our loving couple is no different than any of the other Joneses on the block, except their little pet baby Jesus turns out to be something like Chucky.
I have been recommended several of Mellick's books on Amazon, and I can say that as a writer of reactionary literature, he has a gift for using the dark, the disturbing, and the ridiculously offensive to state the obvious when it comes to drawing parallels to the ludicrous idiocracy of our modern world. Nothing in his writing ever seems gratuitous or all that shocking when you stop to think about what he is actually saying. This is high concept at its finest and its most deviant and its most perverse and subversive. It's art with purpose, and I like that ... a lot. Not to mention the illustrations are just wonderful. There are a lot of psychological, theological, and sociological themes being explored here, like the feeling of insignificance we have as just one of the many amidst the masses, or how humans have an innate capacity to pervert and abuse everything we can get our hands on in order to either make a buck or get gratification, or how every human has the subconscious desire to submit to a narcissistic need to "love thyself, plus a whole lot more, and all of the exploration is done quickly, so you have to pay attention. The writing has a deliberate lack of finesse, as if an 8 year old adult wrote it -- oh yea, our main character *is* an 8 year old photocopied adult. My only gripe was with the huge font. I understand it was to mimic a children's book, for obvious reasons, but I think a smaller book size and a denser font would have suited this story a bit better, say for instance a pocket size book, then the author could reduce the price to something more reasonable for its length. If it had been done as a proper children's book with a hard-cover and colour illustrations then it would have warranted a $10-15 dollar price tag.
As for the subject matter, if you think South Park is obscene you might want to pass on Mellick. But if you like dark satire and absurdist humour, with a shot of blasphemy thrown for good measure, then you will love and appreciate this book. Some reviewers likened the thematic approach to Cronenberg, Burroughs, and Lynch. I would have to agree with that. This is hardcore punk literature for sure: definitely intellectual and not for the overly sensitive. Do not molest the Baby Jesus, you have been warned.
One other thing I looked for in those other reviews was mention of the Jesus/religious aspect of this story and its significance. I didn't find much comment about it, though. My first question before I even bought this book was, why baby Jesus and butt plug? Is it purely for shock value? My conclusion: no, but that's a big part of it. You'd be hard-pressed to find a more eye-catching (or controversial, or inflammatory) title than The Baby Jesus Butt Plug, but in its own weird way, it works in the end. Yes, there's the shock value, but there's also the things that Jesus, or more specifically, baby Jesus, represent: the creation of perfect life, the fulfilling of biblical prophesy, hope for humanity. I think each of those examples is present in this story, in one extremely weird fashion or another.
For me, this is a cautionary tale about vanity and self-absorbtion. The main characters, aptly named Mary and Joe, buy a pet baby jesus, which are born in litters like cats, to use as a sexual toy. Joe grows uncomfortable with the idea and the baby jesus begins to change into something monstrous. People in this world are cloned at copy stores and babies are no longer born, unless they're in litters of famous people (Jesus, Elle Fitzgerald, John Lennon, etc.). Without delving too much into the nuts and bolts of the story, the odd happenings are not completely random, at least not all of them. There's structure at work here, and it's told in simple fairy tale-like prose, which in a way works to both disarm the reader and also provide more of a shock, like the slap of a wet blanket. On a base level, Mary and Joe desecrate something sacred and by the end, they must answer for their actions. And though they seem to be sincere in wanting to fix what they fouled up, it doesn't appear that they will be able to. Sometimes you can't fix what's broke.
There's more to this story as well, a commentary on corporate life and a great passage about how society wants to rush kids into adulthood. A character says, "In this day and age, there's no room for babies. We're born into this world as full grown adults. There's no time to be children let alone raise children." I can see examples of this notion in my daily life and that line really struck a chord with me.
I look forward to more Mellick, though this style and genre won't be for everyone. If the title alone makes you cringe or makes you angry, you should probably keep on going. If you can attempt to read this story with a bit of an open mind, then go for it, you probably won't be disappointed. I wasn't.
An acid-trip-gone-bad, comedic nightmare of emasculatory disquiet at the superfluousness of husband once baby comes into the picture; at the trivializing absurdity of corporatism; at the impotence of self in the form of clones who not only do not save the day, but can't stop themselves from humping like bunnies and turning into zombies and eating each other in a house transformed into living internal organs.
Is this a surreal and macabre satire from the fevered imagination of one very sicko individual, or a true and factual tale of an old-lady curse come deservedly true on two perverts who do in fact use baby jesus as a butt plug? You decide.






