Do you like your name? Loathe it? Wish you could have has some say in the matter, because if you had, you would have chosen something stronger, something sexier, something smarter - something more you? Well, we're here to tell you, you could have done worse.
I've been a Michael so long, I can't imagine being anything else, but do you really think Emmy Royd or Ima Muskrat felt the same way?
When you work for a company that helps people find names in old documents you get sort of preoccupied with names. This book came from that preoccupation. What started as occasional emails passed around on quiet afternoons turned into us scouring records for names that stood out for...well, their unique stropping power. Trust me, when you come across Wild Looney or Cash Favors it gives you a pause. Others make you laugh out loud, titter, shake your head, gape, or otherwise simply boggle the imagination. You can't help but wonder what the Hineys were thinking when Dad suggested, "Hey honey, I know, let's name him Harry..."
Most of the names in this book have come from the United States Censuses, 1970-1930. Some came from other record sources, such as military or birth, marriage, and death records. All of the names, as near as we can tell, are authentic. AS the very least, they are the names people offered on official documents. And why would you lie about something like Maxim D. Wart/Pure Blow/Valentine Bender/Love Lee Couch/Love Youmans/Willie B. Long?
Good reading, and remember: a name is for life...
Real People. Real Names. Real Funny. We have the proof. Here is just a sample: Warren Peace - Born in 1866. Son of Edward and Betsey Peace of Essex, Essex County, New York. Appears in the 1880 United States Federal Census.
Hades Fryher - Born in 1916. Daughter of Louis and Annabell Fryher of East Hampton, Suffolk County, New York. Appears in the 1920 United States Federal Census.
Mars Nix - Born in 1928. Son of Johnie and Tammie Nix of Franklin County, Alabama. Appears in the 1930 United States Federal Census.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The Living Is Easy Every day, 18 acres of pizza are eaten in America. Every day, 21,600 cans of SPAM are opened. Every day, you generate an average of 3.5 pounds of trash. Every day, you blink about 27,398 times and take around 23,000 breaths, while your blood travels about 168 miles, and your body destroys nearly 13 trillion blood cells.
Every day, Every Day, who was born in Pennsylvania in 1886 and worked in a shirt factory, probably did many of the same things we do every day: he got dressed (I assume), he left some place of residence, and he probably tried to get stuff done. Take a look at some other people who couldn't avoid the rigors of everyday life.
Name Brand
I've never really understood the saying, "He puts his pants on one leg at a time, like everyone else." What a strange equalizer, as though, if someone mastered the ancient and hidden mystery of putting on pants both legs at once, he or she would have the power to lord over the rest of us. Do you put your pants on one leg at a time? These people probably did:
Shirt Duggan
Shoe Miles
Pants Agars (had a brother named Poncho)
Coat Donner
Socks Brockington
Pumps Duke
Crinoline Howl
Cardigan Thomas
Fedora H. Spurlock
Jeans Owens
Dress Green
Chemise Green (as far as I can tell, not related to Dress)
