The Beast of Yucca Flats
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Communists chase a large scientist into an atomic-bomb test, and he comes out a killer caveman.
Government security sure has gotten lax at nuclear test sites. It seems like any old defecting Russian nuclear physicist fleeing Soviet agents (who are oddly indistinguishable from American gangsters) can stumble into an A-bomb detonation by accident and turn into a bloodthirsty monster. (You think Stan Lee watched this film before creating the Incredible Hulk?) Meanwhile a vacationing family wanders through the desert as the cops hunt the atomic beast. Tor Johnson (an Ed Wood Jr. fixture) makes a superbly cheesy rampaging mutant, but the film really enters the Twilight Zone when the investigating cops mistake an innocent dad looking for his sons lost in the desert for their target ("Shoot first, ask questions later" is their motto). Supercheap cult director Coleman Francis shot this without sound, dubbing it all in later, and he clumsily cuts away from every actor as they start to speak to hide his handiwork. He hardly had to worry: the flat dialogue and wooden narration is almost absurd enough to distract viewers from his cinematic incompetence. In short, a masterpiece of zero-budget camp with an unbelievably surreal edge. --Sean Axmaker
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The best part of this stinker is Lanell Cado's short nude scene at the very beginning. It lasts about 90 or seconds and yes she is fully nude. You can't really see anything but her breasts but since I had never seen this scene it really caught my attention.
Of course WHY this movie even has a short nude scene is not the only question about this movie. The biggest one is how did they raise the $34,000 or so to make this pile of crap.
But I digress - this very short movie (barely 54 minutes) is about a famous and 'respected' Soviet scientist defecting to the USA with moon flight, etc secrets. He, somehow, ends up close to a nuclear bomb test site and instead of being killed by the radiation he changes in a killer beast (ALA to a great extant The Hulk). He then wonders around killing a few people then is shot and the movie is over. Very little happens- very little is explained - in fact there is very little dialog. There is far too much narration that made no more sense than the rest of the movie unless it's goal is to irritate the viewer.
If that's the case then the voice over is successful.
The only good thing about this movie is I can now say I've seen it and warn other people to avoid it. Watching paint dry in a pitch black room by yourself would be better - in fact far better.
The nude scene was kind of intriguing and there VERY short snippets that were almost interesting. So maybe 3 to 4 minutes out of 54 minutes were worth while. The other 50 or so minutes were completely of no value.
At least I can say I've watched this pile of crap but I will never re-watch this like I have for Plan 9, etc..
I would rate this a 2.75 to 3.25 out of 10. The picture was fairly good - sound was bad to fair. I watched this on Amazon Prime with no real problems.
At the risk of insulting the abilities of the mildly retarded, The Beast of Yucca Flats is the result one could expect if a camera and no budget were given to a group of mildly retarted persons who were told to produce a movie in one day. Tor Johnson (who is not an actor but rather an ex professional wrestler) was billed as the "Star", and his only line in the movie was "Yaaaaaaa!!!!!!" Tor was the victim of the United States' indiscriminate detonation of a nuclear bomb in Yucca flats, toasting all those who the government apparently did not bother to evacuate in advance. As a survivor of the blast he lived in a cave and wandered as a beast in the desert terrorizing or killing anyone who happened to drive through the blast zone. Barney Fife and his local yokel sidekick search for the beast, and in doing so indiscriminately shoot at anyone who runs from them, including a tourist who hiked into the desert looking for his idiot sons who went wandering away while his dowdy wife with horned rimmed glasses wrings her hands helplessly. "Chase scenes" were set back 1000 years, with Tor wallowing through the desert like a crippled, obese Fester Admas. Mercifully, the movie has minimal dialogue which is mostly pointless and poorly delivered. Rather, the movie is narrated (also poorly), with the narrator redundantly criticizing anything done "in the name of progress", and needlessly describing scenes that are self explanatory. In case you are as dumb as me to buy and watch this gem, I will not give away the ending. Suffice it to say, there are no clever twists, as the movie ends with a duller thud than what hits the ground from the South end of a North bound cow. For reasons that I do not understand myself, I am somewhat hypnotized by its awfulness and had to own this movie; perhaps as a standard by which all other movies (including Bill & Ted's excellent Adventure) appear as cinematic masterpieces.