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Beauty: An Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Outtake (A Penguin Special from Berkley) by [Hamilton, Laurell K.]
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Beauty: An Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Outtake (A Penguin Special from Berkley) Kindle Edition

3.1 out of 5 stars 328 customer reviews

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Product Details

  • File Size: 728 KB
  • Print Length: 34 pages
  • Publisher: Berkley (May 8, 2012)
  • Publication Date: May 8, 2012
  • Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B007FEFCD4
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #48,516 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition
1st off, DON'T PAY FOR THIS.

Technically, it's 2 stars. It was OK, not a complete - 'didn't like' - but it gets one star b'c this should be free, end of.

LKH should be ashamed of trying to milk her loyal fans out of a few quid for 20 or so pages of what this is & that is...a sex scene which made the cutting room floor. What? Her editor finally grew a set & decided to do her job & then b'c LKH hates anybody knowing better then her, decided to charge her fans for this redundant sex scene which didn't make the grade?

Pshaw.

Here's what we get;

- We hear about the blue, blue, blue of JC's eyes.

- All the marble in the bathroom & water levels.

- Asher's blue, blue, blue outfit.

- Anita still doubting how beautiful she is & that someone as beautiful as these 2 vamps can find her beautiful.

- How she prefers to suck a flaccid penis.

- How she's still a screamer.

- That LKH still has an aversion to writing the word "come" so instead, everyone says they're "going" or "about to go" which just sounds to me like someone's about to take a dump rather than having an orgasm.

- Oh & yes...and predictably we gets the usual jab in there about all the "whiner babies" (a.k.a. readers who have turned their back on this series) who are judgmental over Anita appearing to be a raging whore with a harem of men b'c in Anita's eyes, they're all jelly.

Um, er...she is a raging wh-re but you know what would be better than her always blaming others for perceiving her this way? Just accepting that she is one! Who cares? Biatch has the Ardeur & a harem of gorgeous, willing men all raring to hitch a ride on the Anita Gravy Train. So what already?
Read more ›
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Format: Kindle Edition
(this got really long, so I'm posting a very shortened version here - for a full version, you can check out [...] goodreads. com/ review/ show/ 326892112 (just take out the spaces in the address)

I love reading outtakes, especially ones that give me sexy times, especially ones with multiple partners. Throw in vampires and people topping each other, and it's an awesome combination of several of my kinks, all in one. So while I had some reservations (because let's face it, LKH hasn't exactly had luck writing good sex scenes lately), I really wanted to like this.

The actual sex scene, which starts in "chapter" two, is about 2,200 words long, and is packed with several kinks readers of the Anita Blake books probably enjoy. It takes a special skill to take a sexy threesome between loving partners, combine it with basically bulletproof kinks that the target audience enjoys, and turn out something that falls completely flat, but Beauty manages. Everything is so by-the numbers and analytical that any appeal is stripped out. The relentless in-and-out of the sex, the mindless screaming (either there's something wrong with her nervous system that makes her scream with pleasure as soon as the actual intercourse starts, or it's bad writing), combined with the clinically dry, completely sensuality-free language of the scene just falls flat and leaves me longing for something else.
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Format: Kindle Edition
As a long standing dedicated reader of Hamilton's, I have reached my limit for both her books and her apparent attitude toward her readers. We are charged an outrageous amount for handful of paragraphs, which appear to be the same re-gurgitated "erotica" we continuously see in Hamilton's novels. I'd never had a serious problem with the sex scenes in her novels, but at this point, they are so bland and technical, it reads like a manual. There is no passion, and the characters, Jean-Claude and Asher, seem to have lost everything that made them interesting, in favor of being formed into sex drones that live to please Anita. There is also a teaser from her upcoming novel, Kiss the Dead. If there was any respect for her readers, this teaser would have been posted for free on her website, like any other author who appreciates their fans does.

There's my piece. I'm done shelling my money out to this author.
3 Comments 276 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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Format: Kindle Edition
Not again! Honestly, I keep swearing this woman will get no more of my money and then she shows a little hope and I fork out again for the next book. Never again. Terrible. Hideous. Seven orgasms of tediousness.

**Spoiler**
Anita checks her roster of sex partners and goes to see Jean-Claude. Then group bath time with Asher; 7 orgasms later (yes 7 of them) the scene ends.

I think it works out to 50 words per orgasm.

Avoid at all costs. I don't know what happened to her, the first 9 books were so clever, and then this... B grade porn happens.
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Format: Kindle Edition
I had forgotten
Who Jean Claude and Asher were
Thank you for that

A hot tub and men
Should equal a hot sex scene
I should be panting

Instead of puking
TMI on flaccidity
And how you like it

I spent three dollars
And about seven brain cells
Reading this short scene

My money and cells
Are gone, but the taste lingers
Bad sex and short straws...
3 Comments 37 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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