Customer Reviews: Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction
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on March 6, 2010
Although a newer sex book, it is already my favorite sex book to recommend (I work as a sex educator for adults). It's well written, easy to read, has great diagrams, fun quizzes at the start of every chapter and - best of all - the information is GREAT. It's right on, it's accurate and written by someone who totally knows what she is talking about.

A major frustration of mine is that a lot of sex books are written by random people who don't know what they're talking about but act like they do. These are the same people who wind up doing things that their partners find unpleasurable but they do them because they read it in a book or magazine (that was wrong!). FINALLY - a book written by an expert who is fun, smart, and clearly loves sex! Dr. Debby writes about sex the way it should be written about - like it's fun and something we can learn to find pleasurable, exciting and connecting with our partners.

This is the kind of book that you will read over and over again, or refer to when you want more tips on sex toys, vibrators, lubricants, how to talk to your partner about sex, how to talk with your partner *during* sex, how to kick your desire back into higher (or at least decent) gear, and how to have a healthy enough life that it spills over into your sex life.

I recommend this book all the time to women and couples. It's a gold mine of information and encouragement and sure to make your sex life better (even if you don't have a partner). Enjoy!!
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on September 17, 2011
I highly recommend this book to any generation, but most particularly to MY generation, the Zooomer (the 50 plus) woman. We were raised with so little information about our own sexuality by our mothers that, for me personally, I did not have my sexual awakening until I was in my 50's. I was married for over 30 years and only a handful of times did I experience pleasure, but an orgasm? never! I thought something was wrong with me, very seriously wrong. I talked to an OBGYN who thankfully was from Europe and very open and she recommended reading material to me. I found that I was not as educated about my own body as I thought. It took an intimate experience after my separation, with someone I had known and not been in touch with for over 40 years, to discover what "love making", not SEX, was all about and how pleasurable and wonderful it could be with someone you are compatible with. Compatibility is important but more than that I found out that yes, body chemistry plays an intrinsic role in the pleasure factor. When you make love you do so not just with your body, then it's just Sex, but with your whole being: body, mind, soul and spirit. My lover is also a very good listener and very tuned into what works for me and I found that I actually, finally also enjoyed pleasuring him, an experience I never really had.
Reading this book has allowed me to become "intimate" with my own body and what makes it work, and HOW and why things give pleasure. I feel like I have finally found that "secret" I have been searching for all my life.... in my Lover and in this book. That emptiness that was in my life has now been filled, and we both have a very vigourous and active sex life and hope to until we are both very, very old.... I highly recommend this book to a generation of women who were never told, that making love was something enjoyable and not just to be endured!
Name withheld by request.
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on April 1, 2011
This book was okay, but not really for women who are in tune with their bodies, and looking to spice up their love life. This seems to be more geared to those not comfortable with sex and their own bodies.
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on December 4, 2009
Comprehensive sex ed in under 250 pages? You betcha. Dr. Debby Herbenick of Indiana University's Center for Sexual Health Promotion, and The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction fame and repute has crafted a terrific primer for what's what in female sexuality. 'Because It Feels Good - A Woman's Guide To Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction' has hit the shelves and now there's no reason not to know stuff.

This book is a quick read - well-organized, funny, and, above all, practical. Each chapter illuminates and confirms with medical specifics, psychological insights, statistics on what's 'normal', and easy to visualize how-to instructions. There's homework. Don't worry, you won't mind. There's also an in-depth resource list at the back to guide you to areas of more specific interest or concern.

Dr. Herbenick was kind enough to visit with me to discuss what particularly interests her, the value of courage, and the terrific work she does on her website.

I'd love to see the statistics on how many bookmark it after having a look!

Our interview is available on the web at PsychJourney.
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on January 4, 2010
As a Pure Romance consultant, I've had the opportunity to meet Debby a few times and I've seen how seriously she takes sexual education. When you are trying to learn more about womens sexual health, there are so many books available that mask themselves as "education" but are really nothing more than erotica and provide nothing of facts and figures and reasons. This is not the case with this book!

"Because It Feels Good: A Womens Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction" is written just like Debby is speaking to you: with confidence, with facts, with humor and with that bit that says 'I'm telling you this for your own good. You need to know this.' It feels like advice from a best friend, a really smart educated classy best friend that you look up to and would go to for advice.
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on June 26, 2011
What an amazing book. I thought I was a hopeless case. The way the media portrays sex doesn't seem right, but boring vanilla sex doesn't either. Sometimes you just want it to be hot, but how? This book helps you find all the delicious wonderful things to your sensory palette so you can find out more about you (sexually). What feels good to you? Many people do not know. Most people are out of touch with what they like and go along with someone else's ideal. They think they must like what the pornos are showing or the movies are showing, ultimately its not that clear cut. We are all unique. Some women are more aggressive than what the feminine ideal portrays, some men are more sensitive than they'd like to admit. By the way, I think this book should be read by all women and men in relationships or who are trying to improve their sex lives. Men can surely benefit from this book!! Also a very interesting part in the beginning of the book about saying NO to sex you do not want, and waiting for the moments/opportunities that you do want. That really hit home for me. Thats how a bad cycle or bad sex begins, but letting something continue in ways you do not want and enforcing those feelings of dissatisfaction. Keep in mind, many people have undiagnosed sexual dysfunctions too. You might feel you are broken, or that nothing ever feels good. Your drive may be to high or too low. Other issues or traumas from any stage of life can affect you sexually. She gives excellent resources to get help and therapy too. There are so many great ideas and methods in her book to discover (finally) your true sexual self!!! This book really cheered me up. It made me want to have sex again.
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on August 5, 2014
Good book - written with an appropriate amount of scientific evidence that its credible without being unapproachable. Just finished reading it the first time through with a highlighter, and I am ready to go back through it again. Homework was interesting and helpful, although some was awkward. I liked that she reiterated throughout the book that these things do NOT come naturally, necessarily. I feel like society says sex should be easy, but in reality, great sex doesn't necessarily. I am hoping my partner will read it, too. Very informative.
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on September 27, 2010
While good to learn something about female anatomy, I really enjoyed the book for its positive and affirming emotional core. It stresses the emotional connections made during sex to enhance technique, which is good for this 20-something. Also, the sections cover quite a range of sexual conduct, so it is a great beginner's guide: very short and understandable. Learning to talk about this stuff accurately and meaningfully is worthwhile.
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on December 2, 2009
What a great book! Unlike most sex books, Because It Feels Good was written by a TRUE sex expert. Dr. Debby Herbenick is a researcher and a sex educator at the famed Kinsey Institute and it shows. I couldn't believe all the wonderful things I learned - some fun facts and also a lot of things that have been helping my relationship. One of my favorite parts of the book is in Chapter 1 where she teaches readers how to say no to say in ways that actually help a relationship instead of making people feel bad. This was really helpful to me as I always feel bad when I tell my husband I'm not in the mood. This helped me figure out how to talk to my husband about my feelings about sex and what I want from him. I also really liked the chapter on sex toys. It was more helpful than anything I've found on the web. The parts on orgasm were good too. This book is heartfelt, smart and interesting. It helped me learn about sex and made me feel good about what I learned and more confident. It made me feel sexier too because now I feel like I can go out and have better sex! And THAT feels GREAT! Highly recommended.
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on January 3, 2010
I bought this book after seeing it listed as a "Best Sex Book" (the writer said it was her favorite nightstand book) and then in "Woman's Day" magazine. I am so glad that I did. I read the whole book in just a few days (it's an easy read and funny too). Thanks to Because It Feels Good I learned so much about my body, about sex, how to do things better, how to perform better oral sex, sex positions that have been proven to make it easier to orgasm and how mindfulness meditation has been shown in research to increase women's desire.

I also liked reading about all the newest kinds of sex toys out there and how to talk to a partner about them. I didn't know there were so many innovative toys for sale! Or so many sexy things to do with them :) Whenever I get back into a relationship, I will definitely be prepared!!

I loved this book! I appreciated that the author wrote about things women can do alone so that single women can get as much out of the book as women who are in relationships can get out of it. This is one of my favorite books now. Thank you, Dr. Herbenick!
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