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Sheleana Aiyana
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Becoming the One: Heal Your Past, Transform Your Relationship Patterns, and Come Home to Yourself Hardcover – June 14, 2022

by Sheleana Aiyana (Author)
4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 996 ratings
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AN INSTANT INTERNATIONAL BESTELLER​

Spiritual writer and Rising Woman founder Sheleana Aiyana takes you on a transformational inner-work journey to heal lifelong relationship patterns and reclaim power over your life.

Romantic relationships can infuse our lives with the magic of intimacy and connection. But for many of us, that magic is fleeting—over and over, our relationships don't last, or if they do, they fail to make us happy. We find ourselves chasing unavailable love, sublimating our needs in service to others, or trying to save our partners from themselves, all the while abandoning the ones who need us most—ourselves.

If you find yourself struggling to let go after a relationship ends, or you keep hitting the same wall in dating and relationships with emotionally unavailable people, this is not a sign that you are broken. It is a sign that somewhere along the way, you learned to sacrifice yourself in order to be loved. In Becoming the One, spiritual leader and visionary founder of the Rising Woman community Sheleana Aiyana offers a roadmap for transforming your relationship patterns to end the cycle of self-abandonment and move into the light of self-discovery.

The desire for love is wired into the very fibers of our being, but before you can create rewarding bonds with others, first you must stand wholeheartedly in self-acceptance. Becoming the One is an invitation to find your way home to yourself.

EXPERT ADVICE: Based on wisdom gleaned from the traumas of her past and years of guiding thousands of women around the world in her internationally acclaimed "Becoming the One" program of spiritual and therapeutic healing practices, Sheleana Aiyana's revolutionary lessons teach you to embody the qualities you are seeking in others so that you can become "the one" for yourself.

ESSENTIAL LESSONS: Learn to connect with your inner child, challenge your core beliefs about love, set self-affirming boundaries, discover and celebrate your true desires, recognize red and green flags, and build a secure, loving relationship with yourself. By learning how to trust your body and make peace with your past, you'll clear the path for healthy, conscious love—one that returns the authority to you to choose how to live and whom to love.

RAVE REVIEWS:

"This is a spectacular guide to the inner world and relationships; it dispels myths, grounds you in transformative truth, and reconnects you to your power."—Yung Pueblo, New York Times bestselling author of Clarity Connection

"This masterpiece will take you from pain to freedom. Reading Becoming the One will help you understand the process and power of healing."—Nedra Glover Tawwab, New York Times bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace

Perfect for:
  • Anyone navigating a recent breakup or feeling fed up with dating
  • Fans of self-help and self-improvement books
  • Adding to the shelf alongside Women Who Run with the Wolves, Attached, Glennon Doyle's Untamed, or books by Esther Perel
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  1. Print length
    304 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Chronicle Prism
  4. Publication date
    June 14, 2022
  5. Dimensions
    6.35 x 1.05 x 9.3 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1797211676
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1797211671
  8. See all details
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Becoming the One: A Guided Journal: Mend Your Relationship Patterns and Reclaim Your Self
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Customer reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
996 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book inspiring, radiant, and incredible. They say it teaches practices and lessons to transform, heal, and learn about themselves. Readers also describe the author as authentic, raw, and real.

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InspirationAuthenticityComfort level
59 customers mention "Inspiration"59 positive0 negative

Customers find the book inspiring. They say it teaches practices and lessons to truly transform, heal, love, and learn about themselves. Readers also mention the book guides them to self-healing, allowing them to prepare to be their best selves. They appreciate the guidance and exercises in the book.

"...I love the guidance and exercises in this book. They make my heart happy.Sheleana is so vulnerable and open about her journey...." Read more

"...I am finding so much that has helped me to dig deeper and thoughtfully ask myself the questions about what needs healing and then loving myself..." Read more

"...Healing isn’t easy nor linear, but the peace you feel once you let go is priceless. I am so grateful for her and her teachings...." Read more

"Interesting read. I enjoy the different perspectives this book has given me" Read more

5 customers mention "Authenticity"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book rich in authenticity. They also say it's raw and real.

"...The book is raw, the book is real, the book is extraordinary. I encourage everyone to read this book. All genders...." Read more

"...She is authentic, eloquent with her words, and has done the work herself to get where she is today...." Read more

"..."actually read," (We rarely do, in this day and age) and definite and authentic enough to move people into the right direction...." Read more

"...to share her experience and wisdom with vulnerability and authenticity is truly admirable and helps create an atmosphere of trust and safety from..." Read more

4 customers mention "Comfort level"4 positive0 negative

Customers find the book comforting, grounded, and hopeful. They say it makes them feel more empowered and confident in their own skin.

"...I feel so grounded, at peace and hopeful...." Read more

"..." and "unworthy" core wound and this book was so healing and comforting as the messages went straight to my heart...." Read more

"...I have truly never felt more empowered and confident in my own skin. Never have I learned to feel more at home within myself...." Read more

"...I loved the journal prompts, and overall felt so empowered by it. I will read it again and again." Read more

A beautiful book for deep soul healing.
5 out of 5 stars
A beautiful book for deep soul healing.
I got this book a few days ago and I haven't been able to put it down. It couldn't have come at a better time. My soul has been yearning for this book.For years I have been stuck in patterns of unhealthy relationships with heartbreaking outcomes. As I've been reading this book, I am discovering ways to nurture my inner being and heal my relationship with myself. I feel so grounded, at peace and hopeful. I have confidence that as I "find my way home to myself" as Sheleana says, it will transform my inner and outer world. I love the guidance and exercises in this book. They make my heart happy.Sheleana is so vulnerable and open about her journey. Very relatable to many who have gone through childhood trauma and turmoil. Sometimes you get the feeling that she's putting her arm around you and guiding you to peace as you're reading the book. Can't wait to finish it. I highly recommend it. I also recommend following her on instagram and signing up to receive her emails. There have been many times where her posts were exactly what I needed to hear that day! I feel that Sheleana is very intuitive and inspired.
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Top reviews from the United States

Sandra Haro
5.0 out of 5 stars A beautiful and inspiring read!
Reviewed in the United States on April 28, 2024
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For anyone searching for emotional healing, and inspiration towards personal self development, this is the perfect read!
2 people found this helpful
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Vicky
5.0 out of 5 stars A beautiful book for deep soul healing.
Reviewed in the United States on June 19, 2022
Verified Purchase
I got this book a few days ago and I haven't been able to put it down. It couldn't have come at a better time. My soul has been yearning for this book.
For years I have been stuck in patterns of unhealthy relationships with heartbreaking outcomes. As I've been reading this book, I am discovering ways to nurture my inner being and heal my relationship with myself. I feel so grounded, at peace and hopeful. I have confidence that as I "find my way home to myself" as Sheleana says, it will transform my inner and outer world. I love the guidance and exercises in this book. They make my heart happy.
Sheleana is so vulnerable and open about her journey. Very relatable to many who have gone through childhood trauma and turmoil. Sometimes you get the feeling that she's putting her arm around you and guiding you to peace as you're reading the book. Can't wait to finish it. I highly recommend it. I also recommend following her on instagram and signing up to receive her emails. There have been many times where her posts were exactly what I needed to hear that day! I feel that Sheleana is very intuitive and inspired.
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Vicky
5.0 out of 5 stars A beautiful book for deep soul healing.
Reviewed in the United States on June 19, 2022
I got this book a few days ago and I haven't been able to put it down. It couldn't have come at a better time. My soul has been yearning for this book.
For years I have been stuck in patterns of unhealthy relationships with heartbreaking outcomes. As I've been reading this book, I am discovering ways to nurture my inner being and heal my relationship with myself. I feel so grounded, at peace and hopeful. I have confidence that as I "find my way home to myself" as Sheleana says, it will transform my inner and outer world. I love the guidance and exercises in this book. They make my heart happy.
Sheleana is so vulnerable and open about her journey. Very relatable to many who have gone through childhood trauma and turmoil. Sometimes you get the feeling that she's putting her arm around you and guiding you to peace as you're reading the book. Can't wait to finish it. I highly recommend it. I also recommend following her on instagram and signing up to receive her emails. There have been many times where her posts were exactly what I needed to hear that day! I feel that Sheleana is very intuitive and inspired.
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6 people found this helpful
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Willow
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing book for thoughtful reflection on how to heal
Reviewed in the United States on November 16, 2022
Verified Purchase
My first time through reading this book was all about highlighting and putting tabs on all the areas I wanted to revisit. In the end, my book is a rainbow of colored pencil highlights and a gazillion tabs. I am on my second reading now and am going through it with the intention of journaling my thoughts and emotions as I answer the questions/suggestions in each chapter. To say this book speaks to me is an understatement. I have now gifted a new book to a friend and have suggested it for numerous other people.

The book was sold as a relationship book in my local bookstore ....and, I am not in a romantic relationship ...so, I am applying it to my relationships to friends and family. But, ultimately it has become about the relationship I have with myself. I am finding so much that has helped me to dig deeper and thoughtfully ask myself the questions about what needs healing and then loving myself gently through the processes given.

Wonderful and deep. Insightful and filled with encouragement and hope. Love it!
22 people found this helpful
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Jackie
5.0 out of 5 stars You changed my life
Reviewed in the United States on June 21, 2022
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I came across Rising Woman a few years ago when I was at a really low point in my life. Last year I purchased the Becoming the One course because I was tired of the relational cycle I kept experiencing. One day I realized that it was deeper than the circumstances I constantly experienced when it came to relationships. Admittedly, I took a step back from the course last year because I didn’t feel ready. Recently, I went back and finished the course because I ran into the same walls and completely reinvented myself and my outlook on relationships in general. So when Shay announced the release of her Becoming the One book shortly after I completed the course, I felt the alignment and knew I had to purchase it. I’m only on chapter two but am so excited to gain from her wisdom. She has a way of captivating your attention, and guiding you to what you’ve known deep down all along. Healing isn’t easy nor linear, but the peace you feel once you let go is priceless. I am so grateful for her and her teachings. Shay, you changed my life and brought awareness that I needed when I needed it. I am forever thankful for your impact.
13 people found this helpful
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Angelika
5.0 out of 5 stars great relationship growth book
Reviewed in the United States on June 23, 2024
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Love the way the author sheds light on the process of conscious creation. Would recommend for all couples doing the work.
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James
4.0 out of 5 stars Good book
Reviewed in the United States on August 7, 2023
Verified Purchase
Interesting read. I enjoy the different perspectives this book has given me
2 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars LOVE LOVE LOVE
Reviewed in the United States on July 1, 2022
Verified Purchase
This book speaks to my soul. I have been on my journey of self discovery for many years now, so I am very familiar with the contents of this book. Given that I have already done a lot of inner work, this book was very easy to read and understand for me. However, I learned SOOOOO much! And I expected nothing less :). I bought this book so that I could learn even more from one divine woman to another. It is an absolutely beautiful read. I plan to read the book again just to learn even more! The book is raw, the book is real, the book is extraordinary. I encourage everyone to read this book. All genders. You will NOT be disappointed at all. It flows beautifully, it makes you develop more self worth, more self awareness, more love & compassion, and last but certainly not least: it allows you to come home to yourself. For all of you people who need a wake up call to come back home to yourself, this is it. Buy this book you will not be disappointed.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars LOVE LOVE LOVE
Reviewed in the United States on July 1, 2022
This book speaks to my soul. I have been on my journey of self discovery for many years now, so I am very familiar with the contents of this book. Given that I have already done a lot of inner work, this book was very easy to read and understand for me. However, I learned SOOOOO much! And I expected nothing less :). I bought this book so that I could learn even more from one divine woman to another. It is an absolutely beautiful read. I plan to read the book again just to learn even more! The book is raw, the book is real, the book is extraordinary. I encourage everyone to read this book. All genders. You will NOT be disappointed at all. It flows beautifully, it makes you develop more self worth, more self awareness, more love & compassion, and last but certainly not least: it allows you to come home to yourself. For all of you people who need a wake up call to come back home to yourself, this is it. Buy this book you will not be disappointed.
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8 people found this helpful
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YL
5.0 out of 5 stars A Soothing and Practicable Guide for Coming Home to Ourselves
Reviewed in the United States on June 21, 2022
Verified Purchase
I finished Shay’s book in a week, which is a page-turner for me, and I’ll return to this gem for relational reminders and practices! I found Rising Woman in late 2019 when I was fed up with failed relationships, and learning how to soothe my inner child and take loving responsibility for my emotions have transformed my life. Identifying and practicing my relational core values through Shay’s Becoming The One course have brought me to my current conscious relationship, and gave me the words to stand in my truth with people who weren’t aligned with me while learning from them. Reading her titular book gave me deeper insights into my recent behavior of “testing” my relationship; I also love her “Four Elements of Emotional Integration”, her prompts to get curious about our anger and sadness, “Five Types of Boundaries” (such a refreshing categorization!) and “Compassionate Self-Awareness”. The latter chapter was particularly pertinent for me as I have perfectionistic tendencies, so the journaling prompts for “doing the accountability work” were poignant. “Divine Mother and Father Energy” was likewise liberating and filled with love. Thank you, Shay, for sharing so much of yourself, and of your community and influences, in your soulful debut. 💛
9 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Zaleska, she's a Riot!!!
5.0 out of 5 stars Great self-discovery and encouragement book
Reviewed in Canada on April 13, 2024
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I found myself eith this book. Amazing statements, questions, guidance, and a supportive holistic book. I loved so much bought the journal too and also encourage.
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Jane Saffron
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read!
Reviewed in Germany on April 8, 2024
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Amazing book, unfortunately not available in russian (((
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Johan
5.0 out of 5 stars Not just for women!
Reviewed in Spain on January 31, 2024
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Great book about healing oneself and become more of oneself! It's written by a woman who is focused on working with other women but the lessons are applicable to men as well. The book I most recommended in 2023!
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars The best book on the art of healing traumas and becoming wonderful persons
Reviewed in India on July 28, 2022
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A must read for all who is going through hard times both in personal and relationships. It intricately describes every possible ways to heal and become better.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars They most transformational book I have ever read.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 19, 2022
Verified Purchase
I have been on my spiritual journey for a while now which has led me to read lots of different books that have immensely helped me on my path. This without a doubt is the book I have been searching for. Sheleana throughout the book beautifully illustrates what she is saying with real life examples. Her rawness and vulnerability really makes you feel like you are on this journey with her and gives me such an unwavering faith that we all have the power to heal ourselves. She discusses a lot of concepts that I have possibly skimmed the surface of before but she has such a gentle and grounding way of bringing such clarity and depth. This book spoke directly to my soul and I want to recommend it to everyone. Until I read this I had never considered my abandonment wound which I now observe is the underlying programme that has playing along in the background of my psyche. This book is life changing ❤️.
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