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Becoming a Slave Paperback – October 1, 2005
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About the Author
The acclaimed author of the best-selling book, The Master's Manual, as well as The Compleat Slave and Partners in Power, Jack Rinella is a free-lance writer, college instructor, and sought-after lecturer. He has been active in the Leather scene since 1983, is a founding member of MAsT-Chicago, an associate member of the Chicago Hellfire Club, and has written extensively about our lifestyle as a weekly columnist.
Top customer reviews
Much time is spent in listservs and Compuserv groups. Thanks. 1993 happened already. Does anyone REALLY use PO boxes now for double blind newspaper personals???? Do we need 15 pages about the postal service and the general history of personal ads?
Thing is, even the personal tidbits are really awash in a whole lot of bland and not really worthwhile fluffy non-informative transitional writing stuff. It feels rambly. Its a LOT of words to read to get to the few morsels of meaningful content.
I really wanted to know about the personal transformation and quest of a slave or candidate. But SOOOO much of what I read was just useless and didn't speak to EITHER the functional 'how to' or the personal 'my journey' genre that I expected from the sales pitch.
I read about 20-30 kink and sexuality books over the last year or so. I hate to say it, but this book missed the bus in many ways.
I DID appreciate the information relating to practical advice and can see that many 'wannabees' could use that- I get petitioned by them all the time- but overall the headspace of the sub, the emotional process, it just felt like a lot of hand holding and ego stroking of one author for the other author, and left me wanting something more.
I felt the title might be more: Doms got it rough, slaves aren't serious and we gotta slog thru so many disappointments / gee my master is awesome. Thanks for letting me publicly say how great you are. The mutual admiration society is fine but the title hints at transformation that just isn't really laid out in the book.
thr trick is that there's no trick--despite the particular erotic power exchange that defines the relationship, it would seem that the most important fundamentals are things like communication, compatability, honesty and both parties being finacially secure and so forth. having 'spark' and an easy sexual rapport, being good kissers, these things all help. so much of the book is devoted to these sorts of considerations that any reader more interested in the distinctive erotic core of a master/slave relationship might be a bit bored for long stretches.
that, too, is in here though i really felt like i was gleaning scraps after awhile. often the most interesting parts would be about the specifics of the authors relationship with his slave, Patrick. in fact some of the most interesting bits come from Patrick who, naturally, can speak from first hand experience what he likes and doesn't about being a slave. for instance, he contributes a diary excerpt in which he discusses what it's like to be whipped and beaten so hard that the usual feeling of pleasure and connection with his master was temporarily replaced with hatred, a feeling he didn't think he should have.
the big problem with the book, and why i knocked a couple stars off my review, is that its incredibly longwinded, tedious and repititious. Jack Rinella is evidently better at enthralling slaves than readers. a good copyeditor could have whittled this book down to a third its size and to good effect. it's too bad, there really are some good insights and details here, it just needed to be a readable book.
This is a book targeted for a specific audience: those folks interested in kink from bottom's perspective.
It tries to walk the line. Are you interested in getting laid, or finding a partner, or finding out if this headspace is right for you? The answers aren't here, but strategies for finding the answers are.
The organization of the book walks you through the basics: what are you looking for, what are you really trying to find out about yourself, how do you prepare yourself and your expectations for seeking out what you want or need? Jack's partner in writing is his slave, Patrick, who adds his own perspective to each chapter. Patrick's sections augment the chapter and occasionally reposition the chapter to make it more relevant to the bottom who is reading.
What do you get out of this book? Good advice. Things like, have recent experience and references; prepare yourself now, not when you meet a guy, for what you want to be doing; plug into community kink groups and be cautious of the "loner" who does not; do not assume that every kink relationship is the same as every other one, because there are as many kinds of relationships as couples. Working through the exercises at the end of each chapter is useful, to ask yourself (in the privacy of your journal or text editor) who you are, what you want, who you're looking for and who you're not.
If you work through the exercises and read Patrick's notes a couple of times while reading through the book, you'll have a richer experience and more useful lessons when you are done. Why? Because it slows you down and forces you to think through what you're reading. It sinks in more.