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On Becoming Toddler Wise Paperback – November, 2003
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"As a pediatrician, the healthy growth of children is the central concern of my practice. By definition, "healthy" means more than positive ear, nose, and throat examinations-- it also implies emotional, physical, moral, and cognitive fitness. It includes giving a baby the best environment to grow, flourish and reach his or her full potential at each stage of development."
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For those of you with children between 2 and 3, you may find further useful information in the next edition, Childwise (ages 3-7). There was not as much information in the Toddlerwise edition about controlling/preventing certain behaviors (e.g., tantrums), but I found a wealth of information in the Childwise edition.
I will say that I felt the potty training section in Toddlerwise was less helpful to me. I did purchase their recommended text, Toilet Training in Less Than a Day (also recommended by Dr. Phil), and found it to be inspiring, but somewhat disappointing.
For the contemplative parent, who is considering this purchase:
Yes, there is a foundation based on Biblical principle, with practical applications. If you find offense in Bible-based theories, then don't bother with the Ezzo series, because you lack the foundation on which to build these principles. If you are the type of parent that seeks to be "an equal partner" with your child, don't bother. The principles presented in the Ezzo texts will continually challenge your parenting philosophy. For those who seek a method of *training*, with practical applications, and are up to the challenge of active parenting, then this may be just what you are looking for. It sure has been for my family, and I continue to refer to many of the Ezzo guidelines as I raise my children. Our children are the envy of our friends and family for their good behavior. Sure, they have their bad days just like any other person, but you'll never see them on Nanny 911...
Having a routine and structure with your kids does not mean you are loving them less, abusing their creativity/freedom, and abusing them in the name of discipline. In fact, the book advocates different types of playtime: roomtime being an independent playtime in a room, free time being a time where the child gets to choose what he wants to do, structured playtime being a time when a parents chooses the activity, and playtimes with family members. Which one of these sound abusive or restrictive? When the child grows old enough to go to school, what do parents think happen? The teachers choose the activities and there will be a disciplinary guideline that your children will follow, so how is this book anything different?
Also, when it comes to handling curious toddlers who get into everything, the book suggests substitution over restriction and distraction. Substitution as defined in the book is to offer an equally desirable experience similar to the original one that caught the toddler's attention, but the location and time will be decided by mom. An example in the book, a child gets into the dog bowl and splashes the water. The alternate substitution for this behavior would be to give the toddler a clean bowl of water on the patio and let the child have at it. Again, what about this is abusive or restrictive?
I also see one reviewer comment on the sample schedule in the book (she gives a paraphrased version in her review). The problem with this reader is that she is not keeping in mind that this is an example routine that ONE mom used for her kids. That doesn't meant the book is saying every single family should follow this schedule where the kids play in half-hour increments using different play techniques. It's taking the book quite too literally.
Anyone who watches Super Nanny or Nanny 911 will know that basically all the families that have problems with their children lack a stable and predictable routine for their kids, and proper discipline techniques. Which led to the parents being burnt out to the point they no long enjoy being parents.
I think people who rated the book poorly have problems with responsible parenting. The Webster Dictionary definition of "nurture" is this: 1. to feed and protect, 2. to support and encourage, 3. to bring up, train, educate. To be nurturing means to parent in a way that meets the above definition. It is the responsibility of parents to love AND educate AND train their kids into responsible and morally upright people. If we raise our children in a way that allows them to have no respect for us, not obeying our guidelines/boundaries, and letting them do whatever the heck they want, then who's to say that they will not do the same to other adult for the rest of their lives.
Those who denounce these books seem to have more of a political opposition to the author than a genuine concern for raising children, and the extremist rhetoric makes that obvious. Take it from a parent who has actually read and used these principles--they work!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
It provides a clear, simple listing of ideas to structure your toddler's day.Read more