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A Beginner's Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death by [BJ Miller, Shoshana Berger]

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A Beginner's Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death Kindle Edition

by BJ Miller (Author), Shoshana Berger (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

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“A gentle, knowledgeable guide to a fate we all share” (The Washington Post): the first and only all-encompassing action plan for the end of life.

“There is nothing wrong with you for dying,” hospice physician B.J. Miller and journalist and caregiver Shoshana Berger write in A Beginner’s Guide to the End. “Our ultimate purpose here isn’t so much to help you die as it is to free up as much life as possible until you do.”

Theirs is a clear-eyed and big-hearted action plan for approaching the end of life, written to help readers feel more in control of an experience that so often seems anything but controllable. Their book offers everything from step-by-step instructions for how to do your paperwork and navigate the healthcare system to answers to questions you might be afraid to ask your doctor, like whether or not sex is still okay when you’re sick. Get advice for how to break the news to your employer, whether to share old secrets with your family, how to face friends who might not be as empathetic as you’d hoped, and how to talk to your children about your will. (Don’t worry: if anyone gets snippy, it’ll likely be their spouses, not them.) There are also lessons for survivors, like how to shut down a loved one’s social media accounts, clean out the house, and write a great eulogy.

An honest, surprising, and detail-oriented guide to the most universal of all experiences, A Beginner’s Guide to the End is “a book that every family should have, the equivalent of Dr. Spock but for this other phase of life” (New York Times bestselling author Dr. Abraham Verghese).

Length: 489 pages	Word Wise: Enabled	Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
Page Flip: Enabled

Due to its large file size, this book may take longer to download

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“The combined wisdom of a legendary hospice physician together with a journalist and experienced caregiver makes this book feel like a loving friend who is by our side with practical advice on the medical, legal, logistical, and emotional aspects of an event that awaits us all. This is a book that every family should have, the equivalent of Dr. Spock but for this other phase of life.”
— Abraham Verghese, author of Cutting for Stone

“A Beginner’s Guide to the End is honest, funny, luminous, and essential. Full of real-world advice and hard-won insight, it’s a practical guide to dying that is actually much more about living.”
— Lucy Kalanithi, author of the epilogue to When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

“A gentle, knowledgeable guide to a fate we all share.”
— The Washington Post

“Miller and Berger, through their honesty and deep experience, help us to live the best life possible with a serious illness. This is a beautiful, poignant, expert, and human handbook for all of us.”
— Susan Block, MD, Professor of Psychiatry and Medicine, Harvard Medical School

“I wish I’d had this book when I needed it. Death and dying are not subjects that many people are comfortable talking about, but it’s hugely important to be as prepared as you can be—emotionally, physically, practically, financially, and spiritually. This book may be the most important guide you could have.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Big Magic and Eat Pray Love

“‘You know what would be fun today? Reading a book about death,’ said no one ever. So you can imagine my surprise when I opened these pages and found myself smiling on the first one. BJ Miller and Shoshana Berger have done something impressive: they’re written a book about dying that’s not only moving and practical, but also delightful to read.”
— Adam Grant, co-author of Option B and author of Give and Take and Originals

“When it comes to the final journey, we are all beginners. Navigating the complexities of serious illness requires grace and grit. With elegant simplicity and tender, earthy honesty, this beginner’s guide explains how to prepare, what possible routes you might take, mis-turns to avoid, and the beauty you might see along the way.”
— Ira Byock, MD, Founder & Chief Medical Director, Institute for Human Caring

“There are many times in my personal life and my medical education when I could have used this book. In their clear and compelling guide, Miller and Berger help us understand how to approach one of the most important but least understood phases of our life. Their honest reflections and sharp insights will change lives for the better.”
— Vivek Murthy, MD, former Surgeon General of the United States

“If you are sure you would never read a book about how to face death, especially long before you need it, A Beginner’s Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death just might convince you it wouldn’t be bad to have on the shelf... The book blends practical information with compassionate advice for facing our own death or the death of a loved one.”
— Next Avenue

About the Author

BJ Miller, MD, is a hospice and palliative medicine physician who has worked in many settings—inpatient, outpatient, hospice facility, and home—and now sees patients and families at the UCSF Helen Diller Family Comprehensive Cancer Center. Miller speaks all over the country and beyond on the theme of living well in the face of death. He has been profiled in The New York Times and interviewed by Oprah Winfrey, Tim Ferriss, and Krista Tippett.

Shoshana Berger is the editorial director at IDEO, where she has worked on projects ranging from the end of life to modern Judaism to school lunch. She was a senior editor at WIRED, and has written for the New York Times, Fast Company, Time, WIRED, Popular Science, Marie Claire, and Quartz. She cofounded the DIY design magazine, ReadyMade, later turning it into a book, Ready Made: How to Make (Almost) Everything.

ASIN : B07M9LN65C
Publisher : Simon & Schuster (July 16, 2019)
Publication date : July 16, 2019
Language: : English
File size : 38217 KB
Text-to-Speech : Enabled
Screen Reader : Supported
Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
X-Ray : Enabled
Word Wise : Enabled
Print length : 489 pages
Lending : Not Enabled

Best Sellers Rank: #100,075 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #44 in Aging (Kindle Store)
- #75 in Cleaning, Caretaking & Relocating How-to
- #117 in Death & Grief (Kindle Store)

Customer Reviews:
383 ratings

Customer reviews

5 star		74%
4 star		17%
3 star		5%
2 star		3%
1 star		2%

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Top reviews from the United States

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Jessica Williams

Every family should own this book

Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2019

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I loved this book! While it’s probably not meant to be read cover to cover, I did. I am at the time of life where I need to buckle down and take care of my paperwork. We haven’t updated our wills since having children and this book demystifies all of the things that all responsible people need to take care of while they’re still healthy. Shoshana Berger’s background as founding editor of Readymade magazine gives her the perfect voice for the straightforward, step-by-step guidance this book provides. The co-authors combined perspectives and experience weave together to set a tone that is loving, supportive, warm and clear. Having just lost the first of our parents, these chapters serve as an indispensable guide to navigating illness and end of life for family members. Everyone needs to own this book!

75 people found this helpful

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Mary D

Lovely, functional, evocative and inspiring - a kind of shroud for the living

Reviewed in the United States on July 23, 2019

Verified Purchase

How does this book resonate? I can’t even count the ways. For me, BJ Miller and Shoshana Berger have woven a kind of shroud for the living – a lovely, pieced “cover so as to protect” (from shroud's Middle English root). They have covered the range of practical, emotional, spiritual and physiological guidance in preparing for our own end, and that of those we love. From large questions to ask about our own care plan, to specific spices and herbs to deal with taste changes with illness, to the range of natural reactions within the geography of grief, I found myself nodding, weeping, smiling, nodding. From their quilt of stories, I found myself wrapped in remembering those I’ve lost, some with time to prepare, others too suddenly. How helpful this protective cover would have been for my sister-in-law as she reckoned with leaving three young girls and my brother? For my friend and classmate at VCFA, a caregiver to his mother who absorbed that toll and died first? For my young patient-students and their families in a children’s hospital? How grateful, years later, to be reminded how my stepfather willed himself to wait until a bed opened up at the hospice center, days past his active dying began? (He didn't want to die in the bed our mother would be sleeping in.) People and memories cascaded throughout as I read, and I’m so grateful for this book’s careful, generous spirit, to allow those resonant gifts.

I also found myself compelled to action. Why do I have all this crap in my house that I’ll “use someday”? Why haven’t I done more than prepare an advanced directive, like write a will by now, for Pete’s (and my siblings’) sake? (Finally called HR this morning about the ‘legal advice’ elective benefit I’ve been paying for so long.) How do I imagine my remains to be most useful, somehow, after I’m gone? (Biodegrading in a simple sack – where? - or mixed into concrete as a coral habitat in international waters, like a friend’s brother did, or spread over special soil, like the ‘cindres’ of my friend’s mother, that we cast over her childhood home in southern France? How long might I have to figure that one out?)

And there’s the rub, the “bumping up against what [we] can’t necessarily command or comprehend,” as the authors say. Regardless, now we have the breathable, strong fabric of this book, all the insight and comprehension its authors share. It’s one of those books I’ll reread over time as I try to make the most of living at all. And I’ve found a book to give everyone I love, to pass on its protective layer, toward, as Browning put it, “the ends of being and ideal grace.”

62 people found this helpful

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Maya Berger

We all need to read this book.

Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2019

Verified Purchase

This book is an incredible resource for anyone who is preparing for the inevitable. As a daughter who had little to no idea of how to navigate both the progression of dementia and then death of my father, this book would have been an invaluable road map. It addresses all aspects pertaining to the often gradual and painful march towards the end. This includes not simply getting your financial affairs in order, it addresses how to navigate illness, getting loved ones’ wishes and desires for end of life, as well as valuable information on navigating the medical system. I highly recommend this book for anyone who doesn’t want to be stuck saying ‘if only we had...’

46 people found this helpful

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Active consumer

The End-of-Life version of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”

Reviewed in the United States on July 18, 2019

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Lovely and thoughtful illustrations that make potentially complex content palatable.

I’m one who likes to be prepared, and there are so many things to think about, at any age, for yourself and your loved ones: this book covers all the bases.

38 people found this helpful

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Susan B. Miller

Extraordinary!

Reviewed in the United States on July 19, 2019

Verified Purchase

This book is long overdue and urgently needed as we grapple with the issue of death and dying, while trying to live life to the fullest. It's clear, comprehensive and covered every aspect of this phase of life. It's both a great read now and as a reference manual as needed. The stories are poignant, compassionate and convey a deep understanding of the issues.
Thank you, BJ and Shoshana.

32 people found this helpful

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peace w. baxter

Relavant for SO many of us!

Reviewed in the United States on July 20, 2019

Verified Purchase

This book really guides one through so many important aspects of preparation for end of life. It is wonderfully accessible, not at all preachy, with humor and absolutely important advise. I have not finished it but am so grateful for their wisdom and truly relevant suggestions. I thought I was fairly prepared with signed documents but there is so much else to do if one wants to guide and help family as we diminish. For younger family members it is also helpful especially if they have parents who have done little preparation. For me it is a gift. Thank you BJ and Shoshana!

23 people found this helpful

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Southerner in Cali

A valuable resource and a must read

Reviewed in the United States on July 19, 2019

Verified Purchase

What a thoughtful, thorough, meaningful book and resource. It treats a delicate subject with an extraordinarily loving yet practical tone. It is like having a good friend there to answer any and all questions. It is recommended both to start thinking about this topic abstractly and as a practical guide as we face this time of life. Thanks for providing such a great resource and writing such a great book!

18 people found this helpful

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drew c.

Very practical!

Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2019

Verified Purchase

This is a “must-have“ book for any and all.

17 people found this helpful

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