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Behave - What To Do When Your Child Won't: The Three Pointers to Mindful Discipline Kindle Edition
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|Length: 120 pages||Word Wise: Enabled||Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled|
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Among the book’s highlights are:
+The author’s straight-forward reminder that the only control we can exert in any parenting situation is over our role in contributing to the bad behaviors and our responses to the misbehavior when it happens.
+ Informing parents that bad behavior is a form of communication for children. It is critical to learn the reasons why our child is misbehaving and then formulate ways to prevent it (avoiding hunger, overtiredness, etc.) whenever possible.
+ In order to be the best parents we can be, we must take care of ourselves as well as our children. Just like little ones, if we are hungry, exhausted and stressed out, we cannot make good choices and maintain calm and patience.
+ Children want to have value within their families and want have their perspectives -- mentioned in the book as their “alternate agendas” -- recognized.
+ You may be able to avoid repetitive arguments and harsh punishments if you use a simple system to explain to your child what the choices, limitations, and consequences are of a given behavior and let him decide how to proceed. (No running in the house. You can run outside or play quietly inside, what do you choose?)
A final thought: although it is not a substantive problem, I would add that book’s format is at times awkward and detracts slightly from the message. Perhaps a re-format allowing for more line spacing and clearer paragraph delineation might make it easier to get all of the information conveyed without confusion or the need to re-read. It also might be easier on the reader if the parent examples -- which are set off with italics -- were in text boxes instead and the lines of dialogue set out in a easier-to-read manner.
A full review of this book is posted on my blog here [...]
Val Mullally provides a great deal of valuable information, and delivers it with warmth and compassion. She knows how challenging it is to be a parent, and is in fact forthright about her own parenting challenges when raising her now grown children. With many examples based on her experience as a parenting coach and an educator, she offers several key user-friendly tools. Her writing reflects an air of respect for parents, stating that she does not presume to tell parents what they "should" do, but merely offers suggestions of what they "could" do.
I find the book's teachings to reflect a very mindful approach to parenting. Mindful of not only the child's experience, but the experience and well-being of the parent as well. Val emphasizes the importance of self-care for parents, wisely noting that parents can best provide for their children when their own needs are being addressed. For example, when parents have sufficient rest and emotional support, they are better prepared to stop and consider what might underlie a child's behavior. (Her easy to remember acronym is "HALT"). Another very useful tool, FLAC (Feelings, Limits, Alternatives, and Consequences) is an excellent approach to help parents systematically guide a child's behavior, again with warmth and understanding.
Parents will find it comforting to read Behave. Val Mullally is reaching out to parents with compassion, and I believe parents will feel understood when reading her book. It's a highly readable book, and I predict it will soon be on many parents' bookshelves. I highly recommend it.