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Behind the Door of Deceit: Understanding the Biggest Liars in Our Lives Paperback – August 7, 2009
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About the Author
Bella DePaulo (PhD, Harvard) has been studying lying in everyday life for decades. She is the author of more than 100 scholarly publications, many of them on the topic of deception, and is one of the foremost academic experts in the field. DePaulo's work on deception has been described in the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and many other major national and international newspapers. It has also been reported in magazines such as Time, the New York Times Magazine, the New Yorker, Readers' Digest, and U.S. News and World Report. Dr. DePaulo has appeared as an expert on deception on NPR, the Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS Sunday Morning, and other shows on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, CNBC, PBS, the BBC, and the Discovery Channel. She has also lectured nationally and internationally. She has addressed criminal attorneys, physicists, judges, and mental health practitioners. Bella DePaulo is also an expert on the place of people who are single in society and in science. She is the author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After (St. Martin's Press).
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Top customer reviews
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The most insightful section for me was the one that discussed how lies told by a truly significant other is so damaging, and sometimes spells the end to the relationship.
We hear so much about how affairs and secret lives - once discovered - set into motion the blossoming of a much better relationship for the couple. I have never understood the comment by the offended party that now that the lies and deceit have been revealed, the relationship is better than ever. That might be the ideal for which couples should strive, but I think Dr. DePaulo makes an excellent point that it rarely happens that way.
I did have a couple of problems with her section on lies that are told because people are forced to lie; that others put them in a position not to tell the truth because of fear of retribution.
Everyone of us is responsible for our own behavior. To say that the liar has told an untruth because he/she is afraid to tell the truth sounds an awful lot like blaming the victim.
She also uses the term "dupes" for the recipient of a lie. It seems there could have been a better descriptor, as the word "dupe" tends to make the person sound less than bright.
All in all, this is a wonderful and highly recommended book.