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A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life Hardcover
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"[A Belle in Brooklyn] is a fun, yet practical dating advice guide. Lucas is candid, confident, and curious, challenging common notions about dating and relationships. I fully support any means that helps promote open, honest and fearless conversation between men and women." --Hill Harper, author of The Conversation
"A relationship columnist who has devised rules black women should abide by when seeking a date. She advises them not to think about the dire statistics and well-publicized odds against them. Instead, focus on the possibilities." --Washington Post
A Belle in Brooklyn is like a warm hug and firm-but-thoughtful counsel from that girlfriend you trust unconditionally—honest, straight-no-chaser anecdotes and advice that implores each of us, whether single, looking or committed, to stop wasting time and live the right here, the right now, at this very moment, as if it’s urgent. Read it and be inspired. —Denene Millner, co-author of the New York Times bestselling "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
About the Author
Demetria L. Lucas (aka "Belle") is the author of the award-winning blog ABelleInBrooklyn.com where she muses daily on dating, relationships and women's empowerment. Lucas, a trained life coach, is also the Relationships Editor at Essence Magazine where she writes her own advice column, Dating Guide, and selects eligible sexy bachelors for the publication's Single Man of the Month page and annual Do Right Men issue.
Lucas has shared her optimistic dating outlook on VH1's Let's Talk About Pep, BET's Being Terry Kennedy, TV One's Access Hollywood, the Oprah Radio Show, NBC4, Good Day New York, and the Tom Joyner Morning Show. She's also been profiled in The Washington Post (where she was dubbed "The Black Carrie Bradshaw"), advising single ladies, "not to think about the dire statistics and well-publicized odds against them. Instead, focus on possibilities." She's been a guest panelist at Harvard, Princeton New York University, and Spelman College; and was recently named one of Essence.com's "40 Fierce & Fab Under 40." --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
If you were a follower of her blog (as I was a long time reader) there is no need to purchase the book. Almost all the stories are from the blog with the exception of maybe two. I like others found the book to be all over the place. You finish one chapter and then the next chapter goes into a completely different topic. It was not the page turner it was hyped up to be. She is a talented writer and since she no longer writes about her personal life maybe book 2 will be better. Unfortunately, for me I will not be buying it.
Once again if you are a long time reader of the blog save your money and don't buy the book. Or maybe borrow if from someone that bought it already. I don't want to knock anyone's hustle but I felt like I wasted my money when I have read these same stories on the blog for free.
However, what continues to concern me about Demetria's advice in general is the hypocrisy in her giving it to single girls from atop her perch of always having a date (as inferred from her book and blog). Or guy friends who treat her like a girlfriend. Or being in a relationship. And now, being engaged. I wonder how long Demetria has spent actually being single; as in, alone, not dating or exclusively seeing anyone or having some surrogate beau referred to as a "friend."
Note that Demetria had been in several serious long-term relationships prior to becoming a fiancee, yet she remained extremely vocal about her ambivalence towards getting married. Her supposed ambivalence comports with her advice to women to "live their best single lives" by focusing more on personal development and achieving individual goals and not so much on entering relationships or becoming a wife. To this day, she advises women to date for fun (meanwhile not considering a date's potential for marriage, or even a relationship) instead of dating for the purpose of vetting men for their potential to be beaus and/or husbands. As if, by serendipity, it will all work out in the end, like it did for her. And she wasn't looking for it and didn't even want it!
I for one, am not falling for the okey-doke. Demetria had the good sense not take her own advice as she seemed to date only "good" marriageable men in relationship-type contexts (i.e. not "just for fun"), and is now engaged to be married despite her incessant yelling that she could take it or leave it.
In sum, it is disingenuous for Demetria to tell women to "live your best single life" and have fun "doing you," not concerning yourself with relationships and all that jazz, when Demetria always had a man (or several) waiting in the wings, likely by design.
In another chapter she elaborated on something that made it into Essence--a particular guy was quoted in the mag but not in his entirety, so she elaborated and gave his full quote for more insight. Those things were interesting. Those conversations & pieces of interviews were the most relevant to me and my life. If I wanted to reminisce on my days of partying in my 20s I'll call up my girls.
Other [small] things to point out: the book is not in chronological order, no dates are provided, and the jumping around of stories was a tad confusing. At the end when she mentioned Nathan I had to jump around to find what his story was. I had not a clue. I'm sure there was a method to the madness, but it made the book somewhat hard to follow. However, I did enjoy the chapters about Jump Offs, dating your friends ex, and why it's okay to be single. (P.S. all of those were "advice" chapters...not detailed stories about her life.)
Overall, the book was good and I DID enjoy it. It was well-written, funny, and an easy read during my commute. But, perhaps the early 20-somethings can benefit from this more than I did.
I think the title of the book would have been better off entitled "A Belle In Brooklyn: The Unintentionally Hilarious Adventures Of A Southern Woman Living Way Too Far Above the Mason Dixon." The title of her blog...and that's exactly what it is, but with a little more detail.
I will purchase ABIB part 2. and because I know you read the reviews, Demetria, congrats & continued success. :-)
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