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Belonging and Becoming: Creating a Thriving Family Culture Paperback – October 27, 2016
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"Mark and Lisa Scandrette . . . understand the challenges and cast a vision of what the family can be in Belonging and Becoming. They offer wisdom from the joys and struggles of their own experiences as parents in the ministry and practical guidance for creating a healthy and deeply rooted family culture." (Facts & Trends, Fall 2016)
"So unique is their life, if only one percent of our citizenry would live with the imagination and intentionality that Mark and Lisa Scandrette do, the world would be a demonstrably better place. With Belonging and Becoming, the Scandrettes build on the bedrock of their twenty-five year marriage and their winsome, faithful work of caring for people and place. We cannot endorse this couple too highly. They represent a way of being and doing that exceeds admirable, landing at 'Wow!'" (Andi Ashworth and Charlie Peacock, writer and record producer, cofounders of Art House America)
"So happy this book was written, so mad it wasn't written thirty years ago! I know that Mark and Lisa did not just write this book, but they have also lived it. And in the living of it, they make room for various expressions of the values-based, thoughtful approach to parenting that we all aspire to. Our world, our neighborhoods, and our souls will be the richer for the reading and practice of these pages." (Nancy Ortberg, author of Looking for God)
"Mark and Lisa Scandrette offer tangible hope for families by both their example and their wise instruction in Belonging and Becoming. They articulate ways families can live toward God's justice and goodness in the world as well as support one another in mutual thriving. They embrace the internal and external call of each family to love one another and be a blessing to the entire neighborhood. As a parent and practitioner, I appreciate the rich vocabulary they've given us with this book!" (Kelley Nikondeha, Communities of Hope, Burundi)
"Mark and Lisa Scandrette understand that thriving families are born of gracious intentionality. I know as you read these pages you'll find both intention and grace: practical wisdom and insights along with the encouragement to live with forgiveness, empathy, compassion, and a will to keep trying." (Nate Ernsberger, speakers' director, Compassion International)
"For the past two decades, Mark and Lisa Scandrette have been at the leading edge of creative faith practices and community engagement, all while nurturing a family life that models the way of Jesus. At last they have put these passions together in a book that's sure to be a go-to resource for families of all kinds seeking to grow one another up into wise, engaged, and faith-filled disciples. By sharing their best family practices and providing tools to help readers create their own, the Scandrettes have created a resource that's sure to evoke deep refection and thoughtful practices for a family life of faith." (David M. Csinos, Atlantic School of Theology, executive director, Faith Forward)
"Mark and Lisa's vision for family life is both challenging and inspiring, and Aaron and I are so thankful to have learned from their example over the years of our friendship. This book is a gift: intelligent and brave, prophetic and grounded. I recommend it for any parent who wants to be wiser, more soulful, and more imaginative in their parenting―which is all of us, right?" (Shauna Niequist, author of Present Over Perfect)
About the Author
Mark Scandrette is an author, teacher, activist, and networker among innovative Christian leaders. As the founding director of ReIMAGINE, a center for integral Christian practice based in San Francisco, he leads an annual series of retreats, learning labs, conversations, and projects designed to help participants integrate the teachings of Christ into every aspect of life through shared practices and community experiments. Mark is the author of FREE: Spending Your Time and Money on What Matters Most, Practicing the Way of Jesus, and Soul Graffiti. A sought after voice for creative, radical, and embodied Christian practice, Mark speaks nationally and internationally at universities, conferences, and churches, and offers training and coaching to leaders and organizations. He assisted in the development of CONSP!RE Magazine and has contributed to publications like Leadership Journal and Conversations Journal and books such as An Emergent Manifesto of Hope, Community of Kindness, and The Relevant Church. He currently serves as an adjunct faculty member at Fuller Seminary, and his work has been profiled in books that include The Shaping of Things to Come by Alan Hirsch and Michael Frost, Emerging Churches by Eddie Gibbs and Ryan Bolger, I.AM.RELEVANT by the Relevant Media group, and The New Conspirators by Tom Sine. Mark and his wife Lisa and their three children live in the Mission District of San Francisco. He enjoys running, biking, cooking, dumpster diving, home coffee roasting, long city walks, going on dates with Lisa, and watching T.V. and films with their kids.
Top customer reviews
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I appreciate that they have written a book that is highly practical and stays away from a one-size-fits-all mentality. Mark and Lisa have crafted a framework of practices to help us engage Jesus as we explore the kind of family he created us to be and become a thriving family. One of the beautiful things about these experiments is they include the kids in a way that is sure to create a greater sense of purpose and belonging for the whole family.
There are so many things I love about this book, from the three-point apology (“saying what we did to offend or hurt the other person, saying we are sorry while looking in their eyes, and suggesting how we can make it right”) to the fact that they consider both two parent and single parent homes. This is a valuable purchase for families of all shapes and sizes.
Here are few of my favorite quotes:
“Busyness is the enemy of family thriving.”
“As parents, we have ultimate responsibility for guiding the spiritual formation of our children. Our homes have incredible potential to be a space where we intentionally encourage one another to be receptive to God and develop character, ethics, and moral imagination.”
“A family isn’t just a collection of individuals but a dynamic system of relationships and that’s why your leadership is crucial. Being a player and a coach at the same time is hard work, but it often makes the difference between a family that simply coexists and one that’s supportive, close, and moving toward a shared purpose.”
“A thriving family embraces each person’s belovedness, holds their brokenness, and supports their growth.”
“The inordinate pursuit of safety and security, wealth and consumption can threaten family thriving.”
My wife and I have spent a lot of time talking about what kind of family we want to have: our values, the places we spend time and money, the things from our families of origin that we like and don’t like. Belonging and Becoming has given us additional language and structure for these conversations, as well as questions we haven’t thought to ask.
One of the best aspects of the book is the concrete steps the Scandrettes suggest to take with your family. As a father of a young and growing family, one of one of the biggest challenges I’ve perceived is how to do some of this family goal work with my little ones. Mark and Lisa offer some practical ways to start incorporating your children into setting goals and values that sets the stage for more in depth conversations down the road. As a fairly new parent, I often feel overwhelmed by the scope of what I’m trying to do with my family, and this book gave me some great tools to start small and not feel like I’m taking it all on at once.
Another huge takeaway for me was the rhythm they set out for creating family goals and checking in on your progress. Even when you know what you want to accomplish, it can be difficult to know how to get there. The rhythms they discuss give a foothold into how to gauge your movement towards your goals and an opportunity to both address issues before they grow as well as celebrate your success.
All in all, this is such a good book. It’s the kind of thing I wish I’d had before my wife and I got married in order to have some framework for our conversations about family, but I’m thankful that I have it now so that I can start implementing some of these practices while my family is still young and growing.
Most recent customer reviews
Belonging and Becoming: Creating a Thriving Family Culture is the book many have been waiting for.Read more
In the midst of all the cultural noise, it can be difficult to know just what it means to be a thriving family, and...Read more