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Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of Today's Sexual Culture Paperback – January 1, 2012
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Winner of IPPY (Independent Publisher) Gold Award for Sexuality/Relationships
- Print length220 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherCleis Press
- Publication dateJanuary 1, 2012
- Dimensions5.5 x 0.7 x 8 inches
- ISBN-101573447595
- ISBN-13978-1573447591
Popular titles by this author
Editorial Reviews
Review
About.com
"A sharp, snappy collection, and it has enough talking points to keep you engaged and enraged for a year. These essays are funny, heart-breaking, head-scratching and honest. They’re well-written and have lovely moments of poetry and concise, bone-cutting prose. They’re varied and unique, but unified in their vision for a world with better sex, and better ways to write and talk about sex. Best Sex Writing 2012 is a step in the right direction."
XOXO Amore
"Best Sex Writing 2012, a fascinating and inspiring book that brings together various articles and essays on the topic of sex and sexuality. They run the gamut from prostitution to circumcision and come from a variety of mediums and authors."
Where is Your Line? blog
"This book highlights not only the diversity of sexual issues prevalent in the public discourse but likewise the importance of all things sexual to human culture Readers interested in sexuality and its role in politics and culture will find something of interest in this eclectic volume. A great opportunity to discover new voices, new sources, and new information on the subject of sex."
Library Journal
"The most alluring and insightful work on the seemingly limitless topic of sex for the always rewarding Best Sex Writing series. Put on your slutty-librarian reading glasses and open up the enticing anthology "
SF Bay Guardian
"The articles and essays [in BEST SEX WRITING] cover a wide range of topics, and there's something in the book for everyone. Even if you look at the table of contents and think, 'Wow, I'm not sure I really want to read about that,' you might be surprised that you're not only reading it, but nodding along in agreement."
Writing Sex, the blog of Cecilia Duvalle
"The vast variety was what struck me the greatest as I made my way through this riveting collection. It took me longer to read than I had anticipated, perhaps because it was sometimes almost jarring to jump from one piece that had me giggling aloud to another that enraged me almost to the point of tears."
Kiki DeLovely
"The writing is honest, challenging, and exciting. There was a piece that really pissed me off and plenty of pieces that got me thinking."
Annabeth Leong
"The subject mix is wonderful, and all stories are extremely well written. This book does not disappoint. It is not the typical erotica book Rachel is known to edit, and meant to arouse. It is an important read, one I highly recommend."
The Erotic Literary Salon
"The greatest strength of Best Sex Writing 2012 is its eclectic collection of writing from all corners of the genre. This anthology has a taste of almost every conceivable angle on sex."
Sex Positive Activism
"I’m impressed. Not all of the articles appealed to me I even disliked a couple of them, but every one of them inspired thought. Every voice had something provocative to say in the realm of sexuality. This is not erotica. These pieces are brilliant reporting, touching memoirs, and humorous expositions. This book engaged my brain sometimes my heart, and occasionally my libido."
My Whole Sex Life
"Sex meets academia when editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and judge Susie Bright present the year’s most provocative nonfiction articles on sex from sources including The Village Voice, Salon.com, and Playboy...Reading the essays will get you thinking, but Bussel hopes they will also get you writing, noting in her forward that, she hopes the book will "Inspire you to write and tell your own sexual story, because I believe the more we talk about the many ways sex moves us, the more we work toward a world where sexual shame, ignorance, homophobia, and violence are diminished."
The Edge
"Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of today's Sexual Culture is an eclectic variety of nonfiction articles on human sexuality, written by a diverse assembly of journalists. Sex columnist Rachel Kramer Bussel and guest judge Susie Bright have worked together to compile the best of the best news stories and measured opinion pieces. Individual stories include "Sex, Lies, and Hush Money" about sexual political scandals; "Atheists Do It Better" which has an intriguing take on faith versus pleasure; "Criminalizing Circumcision: Self-Hatred as Public Policy" which sharply questions legislative efforts to ban the circumcision of males under the age of 18; and "You Can Have Sex With Them; Just Don't Photograph Them" about the case of a police officer who had a completely legal, consensual sexual relationship with sixteen-year-old girls (the state's age of consent) but was sentenced to over a decade of prison time due to erotic photos of the girls, which they had produced voluntarily, in his possession - mandatory minimum sentencing laws tied the hands of the judge trying his case. Sober, serious, and thought-provoking even when dealing with the most inflammatory of human issues, Best Sex Writing 2012 lives up to its title and is worthy of the highest recommendation."
Midwest Book Review
"This book is the best-of-the-best write up about sex and is a great book for anyone with who wants to put their finger on the pulse of Sex in America."
Kissin Blue Karen
"The essays here comprise a detailed, direct survey of the contemporary American sexual landscape...Major commentators examine the many roles sex plays in our lives in these literate and lively essays."
Erotic Readers and Writers Association
Best Sex Writing 2012, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel with writing selected by Susie Bright lives up to its subtitle: The State of Today’s Sexual Culture.” I was impressed by the range of voices in it. Standouts in the collection include Bright’s funny missive on Ross Douthat, Why Lying About Monogamy Matters” and entertaining stories about sexual escapades by both Adrian Colesberry (the footnotes are great) and Lidia Yuknavitch. There are straightforward stories about a lesbian exploring BDSM at a gay male club, fat admirers and the real life of a call girl. Bussel adds a clear-sighted note that people should not be ashamed to send each other sexts as long as they are consensual adults"
Single and Loving It Blog
From the Back Cover
Face it, you think about sex every day. We all do. In Best Sex Writing 2012, sex columnist Rachel Kramer Bussel and guest judge Susie Bright collect the most stimulating and intelligent work on this endlessly provocative subject. Find out what's behind the latest political sex scandals in "Sex, Lies, and Hush Money." Learn how "Atheists Do It Better," and "Why Lying About Monogamy Matters." From an insider look at gay witch hunts in the pre-DADT Navy, and an impassioned defense of circumcision, to a dating site for people with STDs, nuanced explorations of teen sex laws, sex at 66, SlutWalks, female orgasm workshops, and more, Best Sex Writing 2012 explores the smarter side of sexuality.
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Cleis Press; 2012th edition (January 1, 2012)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 220 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1573447595
- ISBN-13 : 978-1573447591
- Item Weight : 8.6 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.7 x 8 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #4,851,361 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #863 in Human Sexuality Studies
- #5,853 in General Sexual Health
- #6,077 in Psychology & Counseling Books on Sexuality
- Customer Reviews:
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About the authors

Adrian Colesberry was born at 7:20 in the morning after a delivery that caused his mother, by the kindly woman's own report, no pain. Since that day, he has taken scrupulous care to endow the rest of his life with the same modesty and kindness that characterized his miraculous entrance into this world.
He got a degree in biomedical engineering (painful, true, but only for him). After college, he spent ten years managing manufacturing operations in the pharmaceutical industry where, he is proud to report, he never made any product that could be used to pour gasoline on the raging fire of male insecurity about whether their penises are long enough or thick enough or hard enough or hard enough for long enough or hard enough fast enough or hard enough at the right time enough...
Adrian remembers a golden age when the cure for perceived erectile deficiencies was something called cunnilingus and he believes that those were happier times for men and (especially) for women. Ladies?
In the evenings, after work, Adrian did stand-up comedy, proving once more the age-old formula:
corporate drug manufacturing + time (approx 2 hours) = comedy.
In 2002, he landed a spot on NBC's Late Friday.
After his divorce, Adrian quit his corporate job and found humbler employment as a background extra in film and TV. He didn't get to deploy his college education as an extra, but he did gain a brand new skill set including: dressing himself, arriving at a specific location at a specific time, filling out an employment voucher, shutting up when anyone said, "Rolling!" sitting, standing and walking in lines, both straight and curved.
Adrian highly recommends extra work for reducing your karmic load. The most ambitious monk would be challenged to do less in one day than an extra. It was during his Zen-like retreat into extra-land, that Adrian wrote the dirty, funny, dirty How to Make Love to Adrian Colesberry.
Much of the book was written on a Palm Pilot standing around between takes on such fine films as Aviator and Spiderman 2, and on celebrated TV shows like Boston Legal, ER, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Entourage in which his back and torso and face have appeared for countable fractions of a second.
An excerpt from an early version of his book was published on Nerve.com. Not his first time out of the gates as a writer, in 1994, he wrote the award-winning Costa Rica: the Last Country the Gods Made.

I write memorable stories and teach people how to craft their own. I've edited over 70 anthologies. My favorites are Best Women's Erotica of the Year, Volumes 1-8, The Big Book of Orgasms, Fast Girls, Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica, Tasting Him: Oral Sex Stories, Spanked and BDSM books Please, Sir and Please, Ma'am! My anthologies have won 3 Samois Anthology Award and I won the 2021 John Preston Short Fiction Award, all from National Leather Association-International (NLA-I). My mission is to tell powerful stories, including fiction, journalism and personal essays, and encourage others to get their words on the page and into the world. My nonfiction has been published in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Elle, Glamour, Salon, Philadelphia Inquirer, Time.com, The Village Voice and numerous other publications.
Writing classes: https://rachelkramerbussel.com/new-page-3
Newsletter and contact: https://rachelkramerbussel.com/contact
Teaching and consulting: http://eroticawriting101.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/raquelita
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rachelkramerbusselauthor
Instagram: https://instagram.com/rachelkramerbussel
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rachelkramerbussel
Blog: http://lustylady.blogspot.com
Click the yellow follow button to get news about my new releases!

Susie Bright is an author, editor, publisher, performer, producer, and critic.
Home: Santa Cruz, CA.
Blog & Newsletter: https://susiebright.substack.com/

Tim Elhajj’s nonfiction essays and articles have appeared in The New York Times, Brevity, Guernica, Sweet, The Yalobusha Review, Together, and Relief. He edits Junk, a journal that features literary memoir about addiction, obsession, and unrequited need.
Tim lives in the Pacific northwest. Prior to moving west, Tim lived in New York City where he attended Hunter College.
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Full disclosure: this book was provided to me free of charge by the publisher.
I can't believe I did it. I took a review copy that came with a review deadline attached to it. What was I thinking? I have books sitting in the queue to be reviewed I finished last April, for heaven's sake, and here I am with a book of essays, and I have twenty-six days to read <em>and</em> review it? I cracked the cover, pored over the table of contents, and figured I could read two of the essays per day and give myself a week's lead time to write the review. And then I started reading. And I kept reading. And I was finished with the book well over a week ahead of schedule, and it looks like I may have the review turned in two weeks in advance of the due date. (Note: I would have, too, had I not kept tweaking it. This may not even be the final draft. There is so much to be said about this book!)
Okay, sure, I'll admit that reading about sex is probably going to go down a lot easier than a book of essays on, say, quantum physics. And it's pretty much a given that any book edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel is going to be a good read. Having Susie Bright as a guest editor is icing on the cake. But still, I didn't expect I'd be gulping down three or four essays in a single go. And yet I did that multiple times while reading this.
To get the first part of this out of the way as quickly as possible: Given that (a) any collection is probably going to be of varying quality, that (b) any collection of multiple-author nonfiction today is likely to contain memoir pieces, and that (c) memoir < other types of nonfiction, the conclusion (d), that there are going to be memoir essays in this book and that they will bring down the overall quality, is pretty easy to reach. That said, there's actually a decent memoir-style piece in here, "Love Grenade" by Lidia Yuknavitch. She actually gets the meaning of the term "creative nonfiction" in a way that emphasizes the "creative" part as "I'm going to use language in a less than straightforward way" rather than "I'm going to make [censored for Amazon consumption] up." Far too few people get that. There are a few other memoir pieces in here, and none of them made me despair for the future of literate readers in the way that so many memoirs I've read in the past decade have, but most of the rest are pretty aggressively average.
The balance of the pieces, on the other hand, have to do with the state of today's sexual culture, as the subtitle indicates. They range from the titillating to the outrageous, and I use the latter term in the sense of "inspiring outrage". It is an unfortunate consequence of the society we live in that my favorite pieces in the book, the most impassioned, are all of this stripe: Thomas Roche's "Men Who 'Buy Sex' Commit More Crimes: <em>Newsweek</em>, Trafficking, and the Lie of Fabricated Sex Studies" doesn't tell us anything we don't know about the increasing polarity of the media, but illustrates the dumbing-down process in the newsroom nicely; Ellen Friedrichs' "The Continuing Criminalization of Teen Sex" and Radley Balko's "You Can Have Sex with Them, Just Don't Photograph Them" examine the ludicrousness of magic-age laws with more sympathy than I've seen in a long, long time (and in the case of Friedrichs' piece, perhaps than I've ever seen); and while I'm probably more sensitive to the subject than most (we spent weeks gathering information and debating circumcision after finding out our now-three-month-old baby was going to be male), Marty Klein's "Criminalizing Circumcision: Self-Hatred As Public Policy" made me want to light the torch, grab the pitchfork, and take to the streets of California.
Not to say that the entire books is going to send you into an unrecoverable spiral of depression. Greta Christina's "Atheists Do It Better: Why Leaving Religion Leads to Better Sex" is witty, concise, and fun, and if it may have a bit of smug triumph in its tone, well dagnabbit, it oughta. (Spoiler: Big Catholic Guilt makes for great fiction, but is largely a myth.) I'll admit that my great love for Camille Dodero's "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks" most likely stems from it hitting my personal buttons more than anything, but whether you're fond of the subject matter or not, Dodero's as good a writer as anyone else here, and presents her material in an engaging, winning fashion. Adrian Colesberry's "Adrian's [censored for Amazon consumption]: Care and Handling" is just as funny as the name suggests, even if it does dip into memoir territory (though Colesberry, as well, understands that "creative" is the operative term in "creative nonfiction"). And I've mentioned less than half of the essays here. If you open the book to a random essay and start reading, you're probably going to come up with a winner.
While I singled out "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks" above and mentioned that's one of the "I identify with it" pieces, I should also mention Abby Tallmer's micro-history "Losing the Meatpacking District: A Queer History of Leather Culture" as one that is about a kink that does nothing for me, yet is still absorbing reading. I promised myself I wouldn't spend this entire review simply summarizing Bussel's wonderful intro--which covered about 95% of what I wanted to say here--but I can't resist quoting this, which would serve as a perfect summary for any review of this book: "As an editor, I'm not only looking for pieces I agree with, or identify with, but for work that illuminates something new about a topic that's been around forever....What moves me most about ["Losing the Meatpacking District"] is that you don't have to be a New Yorker, queer, leather, or kinky to understand what she's talking about". Bussel is absolutely right; it's about the quality of the writing, not the subject. Any subject can be made interesting, given the proper writer. (My favorite example of this, which I now have another chance to recommend to people who probably haven't heard of it, is Hodding Carter's <em>Flushed: How the Plumber Saved Civilization</em>. A history of sewage, and it's as gripping as any nonfiction I've ever read.) Bussel and Bright's expertise in the selection and presentation of the wide range of topics covered here provides hard evidence of same. If only the guys in the pit at <em>Newsweek</em> remembered that. ****
I'm impressed. Not all of the articles appealed to me - I even disliked a couple of them, but every one of them inspired thought. Every voice had something provocative to say in the realm of sexuality. This is not erotica. These pieces are brilliant reporting, touching memoirs, and humorous expositions. This book engaged my brain - sometimes my heart, and occasionally my libido.
It's hard to pick out my favorites. They tend to be the more personal pieces that touch my emotions and perspectives that are very different from my own. The book is excellent as a whole, but here are a few of what I consider the best essays:
"I Want You to Want Me" by Hugo Schwyzer discusses men's longing to be admired. I've heard many of my partners express this exact desire, feeling that it is somehow disgusting or repulsive to be male and wanting on a deep level to be cherished, but this is the first writing I've seen on the subject. I found it very honest and brave.
"Grief, Resilience, and My 66th Birthday Gift" by Joan Price describes the loss of her great love to cancer and her journey out of grief back into being a sexual person. I was moved to tears because I can so easily imagine myself in the same situation. I also was impressed by her courage in writing about the sexuality of people over 60, which I don't see often, and her frank discussion of buying sexual services as a tool for healing.
"Guys Who Like Fat Chicks" by Camille Dodero focuses on men who fetishize overweight women, but it says interesting things about why certain things turn certain people on. It's often hard to say why we fixate sexually on particular things. This is fantastic reporting on an under-represented group.
"Adrian's Penis: Care and Handling" by Adrian Colesberry is a humorous look at what it is to have a penis. Despite my reservations about someone who speaks of themselves (and their penis) in the third person and writes excessive footnotes, I appreciate what he says about being male. I think there are so many misconceptions about erections in our culture - how easy it is to get hard and come. I'm happy to see an open discussion about what's normal for this man.
"Love Grenade" by Lidia Yuknavitch is a beautifully bittersweet ode to women she made love with during grad school. She manages to capture perfectly the tone of a lost weekend. Her descriptions of the people and activities are hot, but what really gets to me is the feelings I'm left with. It's brilliant.
There are so many more I could mention, tackling topics like circumcision, dating with STDs, slut shaming, the criminalization of teen sex, poor reporting of sex and sex violence, and Latina transwomen performing in drag shows. Collectively, these essays please me. It means that there are a lot of people out there starting the conversations that I think we should be having. Many of these conversations happen on the internet, but I would totally recommend this book for an insightful overview of the year's highlights in sex!







