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About Bethany A Beeler
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Blog postThe Tipping Point on My Journey to Trans Awareness "Any child of narcissists, addicts, or rage junkies is an expert at de-escalation."
—Lauren Hough
I was talking to my friend, Steve, last night and made the sarcastic quip, "Oh, yeah, I'm a shrinking violet."
He'd complimented me that I command a room. I was pleasantly surprised. Living as the woman I am lets me be me. If I don't hold back, it's because I've no reason to stifle myself.
I wa -
Blog postWhat We Can Learn from the Trans Experience of Shame At nine years old, my nose was rubbed into a foundational experience of shame. I was in Music Class, and our teacher, Mr. Matzek, had a learn-by-listening period (which meant a study hall while he played music of his choice). I was drawing because I'd finished my homework. Terry Hair (yeah, that was really his name) said, "Beeler, betcha can't draw a naked lady!" This, of course, roused the interest of every boy within earshot, s
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Blog postAnd That's More Than Okay—It's the Human Story An archetype is what its syllables imply—a type, a category, that arcs over individual instances and fits them into a universally understandable narrative. So the trans story has risen to the fore in Western culture (after centuries of violent suppression) and takes its place among the various archetypes that reveal what it means to be human.
Fairy Tales Resonate
Ever wonder why Disney portrays fairy tales? It's a humongous studi -
Blog postWe Grossly Underestimate the Power of Cultural Domination The top-rated TV show in the early 1970s was All in the Family, which opened with the song, "Those Were the Days":
Boy, the way Glenn Miller played
Songs that made the hit parade
Guys like me we had it made
Those were the days
Didn't need no welfare state
Everybody pulled his weight
Gee, our old LaSalle ran great
Those were the days
And you knew who you -
Blog postIt's Not the Fun It's Cracked Up to Be Dear Cister,
I know this is hard. It happened to me when I was in my 50s.
Yes, the news is full of stories about children already knowing they're not the gender they were assigned at birth. They have it so easy, pestering their parents to buy them off-gender clothes and toys, and keeping their state legislatures and local school boards from subverting Title IX.
But you? Your binary frame of reference has been exploded mid-course, -
Blog postHow Trans Folk Help All of Us to Be Ourselves Late November 1992, I was in the theater with my very-pregnant wife, Pam, our son, Paul (4-½), and daughter, Cesara (2-½), to see Disney's latest animated blockbuster, Aladdin. Both our kids and Killian-in-the-womb had countless times watched on video Beauty and the Beast and endlessly, at the behest of Paul and Cesara, acted out Beast's transformation triggered by Belle's falling in love with him.
Sitting in the theatre for Aladd -
Blog postTrans Women Terrify the Established Order On this month's third anniversary of Christine Blasey Ford's courageous testimony, I paused to wonder what might have happened if that brave woman had had Medusa with her.
Then I realized, she did.
The Rape of Medusa
Medusa was a beautiful mortal whom the god Poseidon raped, then Athena punished by turning her hair into snakes and making her glance turn living creatures into stone.
Let no survivor go unpunished, seems to -
Blog postAre You Emerging or Receding? As I mentioned in my last post, this Saturday, I took part in a street-pastel art festival where I both did chalk art and sold my books and paintings for a worthy cause.
Some Recede
At the crack of dawn as Pam and I set up our booth where the organizer told us to be, a woman emerged from the gallery behind us and said, "You're going to move because we own this spot and this is our 30 feet."
I looked at the sidewalk and city parki -
Blog postTrans Art Is the Art of Freedom I've been an artist all my life. From my earliest age, I could draw whatever came into my head or draw subjects from sight. I nurtured that gift into my early 20s.
Then I stopped.
A Fortress in Which to Live—and Die
As a young adult, I built a container that bore all the insignia and flags of the fortress I thought I needed to face the world. Problem was, when I'd perfected that presidio, I had no clue who was the me imprisoned in it. -
Blog postSometimes I take a day off from working, painting, and writing to enjoy coffee with family and friends.
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Blog postIn Which Trans "Euphoria" Is Not What You Think The other day I was in a funk of depression, and Pam asked me, "Has the thrill of being Bethany faded for you?"
Gender dysphoria is not depression. Pam was concerned, as anyone who has lived with depression and with someone who suffers depression would be. Many have celebrated the euphoria of coming out trans versus the dysphoria of living as someone they're not. But let's get this straight—gender dysphoria is not depre -
Blog postTrans Man, Trans Woman, Trans Author, All Human To you I am neither Man nor Woman— I come before you as an Author only— it is the sole standard by which you have a right to judge me— the sole ground on which I accept your judgement.
—Charlotte Brontë
I've been a writer ever since I learned to read. But I didn't publish anything till after I transitioned, since which I've published nine books, written 15 short stories and 44 poems, blogged weekly, and done 100+ paintings a -
Blog postIn Which Fantasy Transforms Reality Fantasy not only asks “What if things didn’t go on just as they do?” but demonstrates what they might be like if they went otherwise—thus gnawing at the very foundation of the belief that things have to be the way they are. —Ursula K. Le Guin
Trans folk are told by religious fundamentalists and TERFs that we engage in fantasy.
Guilty as charged.
I'm not saying that all fantasies are inherently trans but that trans experience and fantasy -
Blog postI Never Thought I'd Write A Fairy Tale, But My Life—and Yours—Is One All my life, I've envisioned myself as a novelist. Much to my surprise, then, that my most popular title is non-fiction. I'm up to write in most genres, but I previously vowed I would never write a children's book.
Famous last vows, 'cuz I just published a children's book (The King Whose Armor Didn't Fit).
Myths are for the gods. Fairy tales are for us. In my TransQuality: How Trans Experience Affirms the Worl -
Blog postHow You Approach Care Tells Whether You Care Once upon a time, there were two hospital systems. I know—I worked for one and now the other, the two biggest in my state. I deal directly with customers—patients coming in or calling for appointments. The tone I set matters everything. Folks coming in/calling are in pain, struck down with illness, and daunted at navigating the crow's nest that is healthcare in America today. Really, either side of the phone/desk, we're all just people doing what
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Blog postNo Trans Dilemma in Being Who We Are The one-joke plot that titillates gender-binary culture is the person in drag who’s fooling no one but themselves and the idiots on-screen with them. To name a few examples:
Victor/Victoria Bosom Buddies Some Like It Hot Ace Ventura, Pet Detective Tootsie Mrs. Doubtfire Virtually every Shakespearean comedy The premise behind the charade is that it’s a charade. Look at that fool trying to get away with masquerading as the other gender!
Passing i -
Blog postTo Cut or Not to Cut As I noted in my last post, surgery doesn’t make the trans person. Nor do a psych eval, therapy, or an endocrinologist versed in trans care. Though not required, they helped me on an 18-month journey to surgery in which I learned even more about myself, body, heart, and mind. I took 50 years to realize I'm trans. Every day since my surgery two years ago has been a continued blossoming.
I took 50 years to realize I'm trans. Every day since my surgery two years ago has b -
Blog postWe Don't Need It to be Trans, but for Some of Us, It's Euphoria When I started my trans journey, surgery (which happened for me summer of 2018) was only an option. And, in fact, that's what surgery remains for many, if not most, trans folk. Some women have penises, some men have vaginas, and genderfluid/non-binary folks feel at home in their bodies as is.
I'm not more trans for having had surgery nor is anyone the less for not getting it. I'm not more trans for having had surgery nor is -
Blog postWe're All Huggable Freaks on the Struggle Bus of Life I've written short stories of late, in addition to my published novels. I don't have a particular gender or sexual identity that's my template. My characters are all over the map:
a deaf orphan teen three blood siblings and a foster sister a nursing professor with an abusive ex a rich college student who loses a sister in a car crash a drag-queen diva a drunken gay philosopher with a penchant for practical jokes an accidental eun -
Blog postTrans Marriages Are Like Any Other Pam and I recently celebrated our 34th anniversary. I know this woman like I know no one else. I know her now in ways I couldn't have dreamt when we first met or at any other point in our relationship.
But how can I fathom everything she's given me?
In How to NOT Know You're Trans, I detail how we navigated a marriage in which I didn't know till my 50s that I'm trans. Yet, there's so much more to Pam than what she has surrendered and what she
Titles By Bethany A Beeler
