Customer Reviews: Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
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on January 29, 2004
I came from an extremely abusive home and was too afraid to have children - afraid that I would be a statistic and abuse my own children. A very dear friend gave me this book and coupled with great counseling, I gradually rose above my fears and raised three successful and happy children. I read this book from cover to cover - I had to totally learn a new way of thinking, responding, and feeling. I read it often to keep it fresh in my mind and heart. I broke the abuse chain - I am proud of this. This book gave me the tools to do it! This book gave me the inspiration and guidance needed to be the mother I wanted to be. The reason I wrote this review today, is that my 25 yr old daughter wants to buy this book before she has children - she remembered me talking about it, reading it, and singing it's praises as I raised her. I can't give you a better review than three happy well adjusted young adults and one very happy and content Mom. This book changed all of our lives. Good luck and good parenting, Deb
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on November 19, 2004
I suddenly realized one day that much of the time I was talking to my three young children (the people I care the most about) in a way that I wouldn't speak to my worst enemy...yelling, threatening, constantly nagging and searching for stricter punishments to help change their behavior...none of which seemed to be working the majority of the time. I really wanted some guidance to help me change my discipline approach. This book was highly recommended to me by my mother who used the principles on me and my sisters as well as in her classroom and I finally decided to take a look at it, especially since it has been recently updated and revised. This book has changed my life. I see why Ginott's book is a true classic...It makes so much sense and has taught me a way of communicating respectfully with my children without becoming a wimpy parent. One of the keys to this philosophy is that it is permissive with feelings but not with misbehavior. I am getting more cooperation from my children without resorting to fear, guilt or spanking. I have learned how helpful it is to acknowledge a child's feelings along with giving clear limits and boundaries. As an added bonus...I have noticed that the insight and skills in this book have helped me communicate and solve problems more successfully with my husband as well as with my boss. I am really feeling good about the positive changes. If you have preschoolers, I also highly recommend an A-Z companion to this book, callled "The Pocket Parent." Ginott is quoted several times and the book is based on the very same philosophy while addressing most of the troublesome behaviors parents face daily with 2-5 year olds. Both books are filled with practical commonsense techniques that we sometimes forget are options as parents.
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on August 29, 2003
While this book was originally written a number of years ago, the concepts are time-tested and true to anyone looking to foster the best possible environment for their child. Ginot talks a lot about his experience with children (as a child psychiatrist) and is very effective in relaying how a child thinks, feels and behaves in response to our words, actions and inaction.
The book makes logical sense in how not only children, but some adults perceive the world around them. I currently have two year old twin boys and I have incorporated some of Dr. Ginot's recommendations and I am AMAZED at the difference it has made in the response of my boys. For example, if a child is doing something they are not suppossed to, like hitting a glass table with a plastic golf club (this is a true example), instead of just saying "Paul, do not hit the glass table with your golf club," you say, "Paul, we may not hit the table with the golf club but you can hit the ground or your golf ball with the club," the child responds differently because he knows the acceptable as well as the unacceptable, which defines the boundaries for him. In my case, Paul continued to hit the table when I failed to define the boundaries for him but when I relayed the message to him in a way that defined boundaries, he stopped hitting the table (and has not to thie day - 6 weeks later, whereas it was a 2-3 times a week occurance).
I have read at least a dozen other "child raising" books and if I had to narrow it down to one, this would be a long shot!
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on March 4, 2004
This book goes beyond vague theory and gives you practical advice. You can begin to use the ideas the day you start reading it. It works so well, as soon as I began using the Ginott suggestions I had many alternatives to the yelling and spanking I grew up with and didn't want to pass on to my kids. It broke the cycle of emotional and physical violence for this family.
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on January 1, 2005
After reading over 50 parenting books, taking classes and praying daily, I have found Dr. Ginott's approach works better and more consistenly with children and adults. It is the most respectful approach, allowing children to learn from their choices, but let's the parents set the limits and the consequences. The approach informs the child prior to an action what the consequence will be, in a calm, non-threatening way. The child makes decisions and lives with the outcome. There is no yelling, no telling and no constant coersion. I have used this approach for years and even now with my teens. They respect my decisions because they know, THEY have a say in the outcome. They have learned to respectfully negotiate a win-win situation and we have very few disputes now. Works on employees, spouses, neighbors and in-laws as well! Fabulous!
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on February 25, 2007
This book is a wonderful addition to any parents' library. I am a child psychiatrist who recommends it frequently to parents. It clearly discusses how important language is in our relationship with our children without being judgmental or preachy. It clearly outlines verbal patterns that many parents get into and helpful strategies to get out of those patterns. The premise is simple --- we need to listen more. However, if you are someone who recognizes this is easier said than done, I recommend reading this book. I get hundreds of books out of the library; there are few that I ultimately purchase. This was one of those few.
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on August 8, 2003
The revised edition of this book not only has Haim's original language and sensitivity, but also includes the wise voices of two parenting and communications experts. Together, these three authors help parents understand children in a way that makes meaningful interactions possible. This book is a timely solution to the hurried parenting we find ourselves doing, even though we never intend to "miss" our kids emotionally. This book is easy to read, sensitive to the insecurities we all share as parents, and full of real-life recommendations that can actually be implemented. This book will be the best money you spend on your children.
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on August 18, 2006
The whole premise of the book is that love and common sense are not enough to raise most children well. Good parenting skills need to be *learned*. This book gives terrific examples of good and not so good parenting with each topic it covers. I've read at least a dozen parenting books (I have a very "highly spirited" 9 year old boy) and this one has made a big difference for me in my parenting. The emphasis on validating children's feelings somehow resonated better with me with this book than others, I think because the authors are particularly gifted in presenting the child's perspective. Using just a couple of the techniques in the book, I have been able to keep my son's emotional outbursts to a minimum -- and therefore my own, too. Better for me, and clearly better for him! I understand him better now.
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on January 20, 2011
My first child, a son, is four. I have a real temper. With the birth of my second child it was so hard for me to keep my temper when my son did not listen. Finally I lost it! I had no in-between. Everything was yelling, I felt it was all that would work.
I purchased this book and it has been wonderful. I can't put it down, i read it constantly at every challenge. I have totally stopped yelling, scolding, and time outs. I used to go to sleep every night feeling ashamed and defeated, now I feel like I am a great mom! My son is so much happier, it is unbelievable. Everyone should own this book.

An example lesson from this book is to be succinct. I used to give big explanations. I thought I was teaching and molding him. He would just roll his eyes (ending in a time out). Now I use just one sentence or maybe just a look "Playing ball is for outside" not " throwing balls inside is dangerous! It could break glass! Or hit your sister..."
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on January 6, 2008
Dr. Ginott is truly one of my heroes. His books are not just about parenting but about how to create strong, respectful relationships. While some of his phrasing will appear quaint by today's standards, readers can find updated and operationalized guides to implementing his ideas in works by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish ('How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk' is in my opinion the greatest parenting book ever published). As a child psychologist and a mother, not a day goes by when I do not think of his words, or try to reach higher for the goal of healing the world through parenting.
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