Save Big On Open-Box & Pre-owned: Buy "Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life After ...” from Amazon Warehouse Deals and save 53% off the $34.95 list price. Product is eligible for Amazon's 30-day returns policy and Prime or FREE Shipping. See all Open-Box & Pre-owned offers from Amazon Warehouse Deals.
Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life After Boyhood Sexual Abuse Hardcover – April 1, 2005
The Amazon Book Review
Author interviews, book reviews, editors picks, and more. Read it now
Frequently Bought Together
Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought
Special Offers and Product Promotions
From the Inside Flap
From the Foreword by William Pollack, Ph.D., author of the New York Times bestselling Real Boys
By the age of sixteen, up to one in six boys has unwanted direct sexual contact with an older person. This is rarely talked about, and when it is, shame and embarrassment often stop us from speaking up openly and frankly. Now, this major new book by Dr. Richard Gartner, a pioneering therapist in the field, explores in depth the once-taboo subject of male sexual victimization.
Providing empowering action steps and written specifically for survivors of male sexual abuse as well as their spouses, partners, and loved ones, Beyond Betrayal is based on Richard Gartner's decades of experience as a psychologist, psychoanalyst, and advocate for sexually abused men. Covering both male and female abuse of boys and young men, Dr. Gartner explores the different types of abuse, from sexual abuse with and without touch to covert abuse to trauma, revealing the profound impact of sexual betrayal by such caretakers as clergy, family, teachers, babysitters, and health professionals. Gartner explains how as a child one trusts out of necessityand how the betrayal of that trust ravages one's self-concept as a man while also wreaking havoc on one's relationships.
In this powerful book, Dr. Gartner allows his patients to speak for themselves. The men's heartrending stories convey the full range of long-term devastations of boyhood sexual abuse: the despair, the secrecy, and the isolation; the worry about manhood and sexual orientation; and the difficulties of developing intimate relationships. In sharing their stories, these courageous men demonstrate what bravely deciding to face your inner demons can bring you: trust, resolution, and connection.
In reading this book, you'll discover how to safely experience emotions again and relate to others with confidence and security. Dr. Gartner also helps you shed the long-held conviction that you can either be a man or a victim but not both, and he teaches you how to determine who you really are and develop new, more flexible concepts of masculinity. Beyond Betrayal shows you that you can take charge of your recovery while living your life to its fullest potential.
From the Back Cover
Mike Lew, M.Ed., author of Victims No Longer and Leaping upon the Mountains
"If you have been sexually abused, this book will give you information, hope, direction, and most importantly, the assurance that you are not alone. Dr. Gartner has written an accessible, compassionate book that clearly lays out the healing process for men who were hurt or abused as children. Whether you were abused by a mother, a camp counselor, a neighborhood boy, or a priest, Beyond Betrayal will give you the tools you need to reclaim your life and move on. If you're going to take one book with you on the healing journey, this should be the one."
Laura Davis, coauthor of The Courage to Heal and author of The Courage to Heal Workbook
"Compassionate, insightful, and hopeful, Beyond Betrayal shines a bright light. It is a must-read for anyone concerned."
Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., author of Silently Seduced
"Beyond Betrayal cuts through the shame, confusion, misunderstanding, and fear that so often accompany the abuse of males and replaces them with clear information. I will begin to use it immediately with my patients and think that other clinicians will do so as well."
Christine A. Courtois, Ph.D., author of Healing the Incest Wound and Recollections of Sexual Abuse
"Beyond Betrayal offers men straightforward words of hope and a meaningful way to overcome the invisibility, stigma, and shame they have endured. Many men and their families will find this book a healing aid."
Jack Drescher, M.D., author of Psychoanalytic Therapy and the Gay Man
"Dr. Gartner writes in a manner any reader will find accessible. Not only does he understand the topic of males, sexual abuse, and recovery, but he can explain it to those who need to know."
Dr. Mic Hunter, author of Abused Boys and editor of Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse: Treatment Innovations
Top Customer Reviews
The author offers case studies that apply this information over a broad spectrum so that most men are offered information for recovery, regardless of specifics such as the gender of the abuser, the dynamics of the situation, and the sexual orientation of the person who experienced abuse. This author expresses no apparent assumptions about abuse influencing sexual orientation. The material is inclusive and comprehensive. He clarifies that many abused men feel uncertain about sexual orientation, and that "abused homosexual and bisexual men have a lot of the same questions about masculinity as abused heterosexual men." He also offers clarification about gender identity apart from sexual orientation.
The author offers unique information about unconscious, self-defeating ways of defining and dealing with masculinity in the wake of abuse, and alternate guidance to provide a healthy contrast to these patterns. **A secondary observation is that some of these counterproductive means of interpreting masculinity after abuse might resemble the bad advice and confusing misguidance of well-intentioned but misinformed friends, or others who attempt to offer advice or reinterpretation of post-abuse reality.** Bravo.
The information on boundaries is comprehensive. The author walks the reader through the effects of abuse on the ways boundaries are formed, not formed, or compromised, and talks about reactions to boundary violations. This developmental approach can assist the reader in seeing how this affects life and relationships at present. This is a clear building of comprehension so that most if not all readers can really "get it," no matter how easy or challenging it may be to pick up a book on this subject and read through it.
This book offers proactive ways to get life back. There is clear, purposeful, soothing information that opens doors to understanding and clarity.