- Paperback: 304 pages
- Publisher: AuthorHouse; 1st edition (September 10, 2003)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 9781410724175
- ISBN-13: 978-1410724175
- ASIN: 1410724174
- Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.8 x 9 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
- Average Customer Review: 64 customer reviews
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,443,102 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor's Story Paperback – September 10, 2003
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About the Author
After her first eighteen years in the Northeast, Lynn Tolson moved to the Southwest where she engaged in careers in real estate and property management. During those years, she survived post-traumatic stress disorder, which manifested in addictions and suicide attempts. Through the therapeutic process, she determined the causes of her dysfunction and was able to ultimately achieve a life that reflects health and happiness. Her memoir, Beyond the Tears, illustrates physical, emotional, and spiritual transformation; her story offers a message of hope. Tolson currently resides in the Midwest where she returned to college to obtain a degree in social work.
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Now, having read Lynn's book, if it were possible, the one thing I'd love to do is meet her in person. I want to meet this woman who at the opening of her book was on her way to commit suicide. She'd had it! She couldn't take any more. She hauled into a motel, swallowed all the pills she could find and waited for death to come. But life wasn't done with her yet because she had a mission to fulfill: to heal from her own devastating and lonely past; to conquer her drug-addicted lifestyle; to rid herself of an older husband who was using her low self-esteem to victimize her further, and ultimately to share her path to recovery with the thousands of other victims out there who might also think that taking their own lives is the only solution. Thank heaven Lynn's attempt to end it all failed or Beyond the Tears wouldn't have been written.
The one thing that stood out for me as I got further and further into Lynn's story of sexual abuse by both her schizophrenic biological father, and later, by her older brother, was her extreme isolation, even as a young child, in a family of several members. Like all victims of sexual abuse, she couldn't bring herself to tell her own mother of the abuse. Why? Because her mother was too delicate, too fragile. So to save her mother from heartache, she let her own heart ache with her ugly secret. Intimidated by her step-father, confused by her own father, ignored by her mother and scorned and berated by her abusive brother, Lynn wandered through her teens dulling her pain on street drugs. She watched a soul-mate die from an overdose and still couldn't help herself. After compounding the mess of her life by marrying a mentally and verbally abusive husband, suicide seemed the only out till fate stepped in. Lynn met Karen and with love, caring and wise counsel, Karen got Lynn to open up and tell all.
As all abuse victims come to realiize sooner or later, healing begins in finally telling someone, but it is journalling, writing, that ultimately closes the wounds. Karen encouraged Lynn to do that. Lynn took another 20 years before putting pen to paper and further heal, but it is her readers, especially those who are victims of childhood sexual abuse who benefit from her writing. Lynn not only shares her life with us in an easy to read, semi-fictional style, but she peppers her story with insights and reflections on the personalities of her family and how they contributed to her isolation, an isolation I sense she still feels today but is able to live with. Every so often, she throws in some touching poetry that is short and poignant. And by sharing Karen's words of counsel and wisdom with us, Lynn offers the reader concepts that truly help one heal.
If there's one thing I love about the internet and social networking sites like Facebook, it's that it clarifies perceptions we form of people when we only meet them in print, as in their blogs, poems or books. Read their words and you form a picture of them. Look at their photos and we see what the words don't show. Listen to their voices, as I did recently in a blog talk show with Lynn and the image sharpens. Watch a video (Lynn has one on her own blog site at http://beyondthetears.blogspot.ca, and you suddenly know a lot more about this person who till now was just a name on a book.
Getting to know Lynn C Tolson begins with reading BEYOND THE TEARS, but don't stop there! Visit her blog, read her posts, check out her other reviews and videos at Goodreads, and come to know this strong woman who was once a victim of child sexual abuse but is today a survivor and thriver. As Karen told her: "When you lose your identity as a victim, you gain an identity as a survivor". BEYOND THE TEARS is a guide to doing just that.
Lynn Tolson is a survivor that I met on Twitter sometime in the past 4 years. I have wanted to read her book for awhile. I want to do justice to Lynn and her book. I have been having trouble writing this review and I have been working on getting my words and feelings about this book down on paper for several weeks now. Why? Because I am afraid that I won't do her book justice with my review. Reading Lynn's book was intense and caused me to numb my feelings several times while I was reading it because I am just beginning to look at my own Domestic Violence issues from my childhood. Suicide is something else that I struggle to understand. My emotions were all over the place when I was reading Lynn Tolson's book.
Beyond the Tears begins the first chapter with Lynn attempting suicide and ending up in a mental ward of a nearby hospital when she survives the attempt. Lynn's father who incested her when she was a child died from his own suicide attempt so Lynn says she was following in her father's footsteps with her own suicide attempt. I am very glad that she did not succeed, like her father did. The hospital counselor didn't do much to help Lynn but she didn't give up. With the help of a therapist trained in helping trauma victims, Lynn was able to start her healing journey which she shares in her book.
Lynn's journey to healing will inspire other survivors who are just starting out on their own journey to healing. Ms Tolson is a true survivor who has been through the Hell of anxiety, depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to become a survivor. I am amazed at the amount of abuse that some children and adults survive. Lynn Tolson nearly didn't. Beyond the Tears, A True Survivor's Story is Lynn's story of that survival and healing from childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence. Thank you Lynn Tolson for sharing your story of courage and survival and for reaching out and helping other survivors to heal.Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor's Story
As I read Lynne C. Tolson's account of her life, beginning with the first page, I felt as though I was reading about my own life. It gave me a feeling of déjà vu.
Only if you have experienced any type of sexual abuse, addiction, attempted suicide, emotional abuse, mental health issues and just the fear of living with the memories inside of you, can you appreciate the courage it took for the author to put herself out there for the entire world to read.
On a personal level, this book has recently helped me move on in my own therapeutic journey in dealing with that area of my life where I know I need to in order to experience true freedom.