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Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves: Ditch Your Inner Critic and Wake Up Your Inner Superstar Paperback – October 11, 2011

4.6 out of 5 stars 45 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Written with great humor, tolerance, honesty, and wisdom, this book is sort of like having your own personal cheerleader with you 24/7. The work given is excellent, well-thought out, and obviously based on experience....If you’re feeling you really want to cut that inner ‘mean girl’ down to size once and for all, this is the book to help you do it.”
New Spirit Journal

“Ahlers’s book won't bore you with psychological jargon and dry theory. It's fun to read and filled with coaching, affirmations, inspiring quotations, and stories, yet her understanding and insight are deep and can take you by surprise.”
Spirituality & Health

“A crucial message for women to stop being so hard on themselves. The tools and exercises in this book are transformational, and Amy Ahlers’s insight, humor, and enthusiasm are infectious.”
Marci Shimoff, New York Times bestselling author of Love for No Reason

“Stop everything you are doing — you have to read this book! This is the book that you pass on to your closest girlfriend or daughter when she needs to be reminded of her greatness.”
Lisa Nichols, author of No Matter What!

“This timely book will transform your fear-based illusions into miracles and reconnect you with your loving truth. With Amy as your guide, you are destined to awaken your Inner Superstar!”
Gabrielle Bernstein, author of Add More ~ing to Your Life and Spirit Junkie

“Ahlers is a cheerleader. What makes this a valuable book is that she backs her cheerleading up with viable, easy-to-implement techniques that can actually change people’s sense of well-being.”
Anna Jedrziewski, New Age Retailer

“Packed full of real truth and wisdom. I highly recommend this book for any woman who just wants to be happy.”
Kristine Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Women

About the Author

Amy Ahlers is a celebrated certified life coach, the CEO of Wake-Up Call Coaching, and the cocreator of Inner Mean Girl Reform School. For over a decade she has offered teleseminars and workshops to inspire women. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband, daughter, and rescue mutt.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: New World Library; 9.11.2011 edition (October 11, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1608680282
  • ISBN-13: 978-1608680283
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (45 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #190,325 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Dyana Valentine on September 30, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
You are worth it.

I am a skeptic. I always look at new self-help books out of the corner of one eye--so when I say that Amy Ahlers gave me my own truth, you know it's coming from a totally sincere place. I didn't even KNOW I was lying to myself. This book is so simple, really--it just lays out the crap we say to ourselves, mostly without even thinking, and gives us a way to not only reframe it, but take action. This is not your run of the mill "you are doing everything wrong and I'm just the expert to fix you" book. NO WAY. This is about joining a movement of truth-telling superstars who will not take any more self-torture. Period. I learned something from Amy that I cannot un-learn: how to hear through my bull crap and tell the truth. This is going to be my go-to gift for friends and clients this year.
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Format: Paperback
This book is a MUST read for all women...and even for men (like me) who both have important women in our lives and also have a tendency to be hard on ourselves. I love Amy Ahlers and have been a fan of her work for some time...I'm so glad she wrote this book and put these "Big Fat Lies" out there. Her message is easy to access and understand, yet filled with depth, power, and practical advice. She understands how we operate as human beings and our negative tendency to be hyper self critical. When my girls are old enough to read a book like this, it will be one of the first ones I recommend for them. The openness, vulnerability, truth, and wisdom of this book shines through - you will be inspired, comforted, and empowered to let go of self criticism and take your life, work, and/or relationship to the next level. I HIGHLY recommend picking up a copy for yourself and for all of the important the women (and even some of the men) in your life!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
In this insightful and well-crafted book, Amy Ahlers gets straight to the heart of the matter of each of these lies women tell themselves. But more than that, she goes on to offer clear, simple and practical advice and suggestions for helping shut off the endlessly dripping faucet of self-criticism that plagues so many of us, no matter how smart, creative, successful, happy or fulfilled we know ourselves to be. Because it doesn't matter. It is a sad truth that modern women suffer from phenomenal amounts of self-loathing and self-criticism in every area of our lives. And this is how this book is organized: by life area. Whole self, body, career, and so forth.

I am not much of a self-help reader. In fact, I am a huge skeptic of most of this sort of thing. (Nor, by the way, am I a friend. I don't know the author personally.) But then, Amy Ahlers is not your average self-help writer. To be honest, no one is more surprised than I am at my own response here. The prose is clear and concise, the suggestions and advice filled with compassion and delivered with a refreshing directness, and the stories are real-world.

In my experience, each of these lies and the way Amy Ahlers presents them provides, if one chooses, an invitation to a much deeper soul-searching meditation. And the simplicity is part of the greatness here. All really good spiritual teachers, coaches and therapists know the value of not bogging someone down in quicksand. They know the value of repetition. And of mirroring one's own wisdom. The author does all that and more, in a way that feels both simple ("Oh, of course, right! That makes sense!") yet is nonetheless deep. We resonate the most with those who strike us as having garnered that wisdom because they have traveled the path.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
If you are a woman (sorry Barbie it is not you) you have told yourself one of these lies at a certain moment in your life and by doing so you have self-sabotaged yourself successfully. Congratulations, you feel miserable. No prize, lady.

Written by a women coach, Big Lies... offers a concise examination of fifty-nine self-lies, limiting beliefs and distorted views of your female self, which deal with your worth, your body, self-care, success, money, love, relationships, authenticity, and your spirit. The message is see them as lies, because they are in their most part, and do not use to justify your situation, your misery or your empty life.

Examples of big fat lies are: I am old, I cannot do x, I have to please everybody to be liked, money is bad, it is OK to live beyond your means, I have to fake who I am to get a man, love is sacrificing yourself, better be polite than authentic, grieving for quite a while is wrong, and so on.

Many of these beliefs could be shared by many men, as well, and some of them are very obvious. Others are not that obvious, and are they are the ones that I like the most, because they are not socially popular or accepted and separate hay from grain. Even the obvious ones are important to be reminded of because women spend tons of money on "improving" themselves, meaning increasing the size of their boobs, cutting and modifying pieces of their body instead of focussing on inner and intellectual growth.

I found some of the items in the section on spirituality redundant, as not every single woman is religious or spiritual, or even believes in God and that does not turn them into a faulty unhappy person. There are many examples of the contrary.
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