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Susie Bright

Big Sex Little Death: A Memoir Hardcover – March 22, 2011

by Susie Bright (Author)

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Ever wondered why there’s no female voice as bold, erotic, unflinching, and revealing as Norman Mailer, Henry Miller, or Philip Roth? There is. It belongs to Susie Bright.

In this stunning and courageous coming-of-age story, Susie Bright opens her heart and her life. From fearful Irish Catholic Girl Scout to gun-toting teenage revolutionary—and finally the "The Avatar of American Erotica" (NYTimes)—Bright’s life story is shaped as much by America’s sexual awakening as the national sexual landscape was altered by Bright herself.

In Big Sex Little Death, Bright introduces us to her influences and experiences, including her early involvement with notorious high school radicals The Red Tide as well as the magazine she co-founded in the 1980s, On Our Backs—the first-ever erotic magazine created by women, which turned the lesbian and bisexual community upside down before it took the "straight" world by storm.

Big Sex Little Death is an explosive yet intimate memoir that’s pure Susie: bold, free-spirited, unpredictable—larger than life, yet utterly true to life.

Print length

328 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Seal Press
Publication date

March 22, 2011
Dimensions

6 x 1.06 x 9 inches
ISBN-10

1580052649
ISBN-13

978-1580052641
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Susie Bright is a one-woman counterculture, a teenaged socialist revolutionary turned Reagan-era sexual freedom fighter. In this lively, bittersweet memoir, she recounts a life full of political and erotic adventures and betrayals, a life at once deeply subversive and totally American, defined as it is by the idea that people should be free to express and pursue their own visions of happiness, no matter how uncomfortable it makes the prigs and scolds among us." — Tom Perotta, author of Little Children and Election

"Susie Bright's real life is just as compelling—more compelling—than her sex life. And that's saying something." — Dan Savage

"I have a very scary feeling Susie Bright is not making any of this up. Guns, drugs, threesomes, socialist factionalism, a stabbing . . . all before she got her G.E.D.?" — Alison Bechdel, author of Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic

"Big Sex Little Death is subtle, hot, enthralling, raw and tender—I loved it. Susie Bright is a national treasure." — Josh Marshall, Editor and Publisher, Talking Points Memo

"The best-named writer in America, Susie Bright has written a witty, wise, and enlightening memoir." — Erica Jong

About the Author

Susie Bright is the author of national bestsellers, Full Exposure and The Sexual State of the Union—as well as The Best American Erotica and Herotica series, which ushered in women’s erotic publishing. She the host of Audible’s In Bed With Susie Bright, the beloved and longest running sex education show in the history of broadcasting. She was co-founder and editor of On Our Backs magazine, and was the first journalist to cover erotic cinema and the porn business in the mainstream press. A progenitor of the sex-positive movement, Bright taught the first university course on pornography, and brought lasting sexual influence to her role in films like Bound and The Celluloid Closet. She has one daughter, Aretha Bright, and lives with her partner, Jon Bailiff. She currently resides in Santa Cruz, California.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Preface

At the risk of making a dozen devoted enemies for life, I can only say that the whiffs I get from the ink of [women writers] are fey, old-hat, Quaintsy Goysy, tiny, too dykily psychotic, crippled, creepish, fashionable, frigid, outer-Baroque, maquillé in mannequin's whimsy, or else bright and stillborn.
—Norman Mailer, Advertisements for Myself

How does a woman, an American woman born in midcentury, write a memoir? The chutzpah and the femmechismo needed to undertake the project go against the apron. I was raised with, “Don’t think you’re so big.” Yet to be a writer at all, you have to inflict your ego on a page and stake your reputation. To be a poet, the effect should be transcendent, and disarming.

I already knew the best result of my memoir, before I finished it. The days of my writing—a couple years in earnest—inspired many of the family and friends around me to write their story, to put a bit of their legacy in ink. Reading what they had to say was a revelation. If more of us knew the story of our tribe—and carried it from one generation to the next—it seems like the interest would pay off. Maybe a few less mistakes on the global scale.

I know so little of my own family history that, when I was young, I often read memoirs in search of blood relation. I wanted to be Emma Goldman. I wanted to digest Doris Lessing’s The Golden Notebook like biscuits. I felt like Harriet the Spy, looking for a dumbwaiter to hide in, scribbling down all I witnessed.

At the outset of my memoir, I thought I would bring myself up-to-date on the autobiography racket. I researched the current bestsellers among women authors who had contemplated their life’s journey. The results were so dispiriting: diet books. The weighty befores and afters. You look up men’s memoirs and find some guy climbing a mountain with his bare teeth—the parallel view for women are the mountains of cookies they rejected or succumbed to.

That was humiliating. The next tier of bestselling female memoirs, often overlapping with the diet tales, is the tell-all by a movie star, athlete, or political figure. The first two subjects are designed to exploit gossip—the last are so boring and circumspect you wonder if they’re funded by government cheese.

The year I started writing this, one of the most-talked about women’s memoirs was by the daughter of the outgoing U.S. vice president, Dick Cheney, who explained how she, Miss Mary, could be a God-fearing, union-busting, lesbian Daddy’s Girl who would never put civil rights in front of a corporate interest. I assume most of the sales were to people who wanted an amusing brick for their toilet.

The last group of popular memoirs—and this goes across the gender divide—are the ones in which the author unloads a great deal of weight in the form of psychic burdens from childhood. The subject is nearly driven mad by lunatic or intoxicated parenting, sidetracked by years of self-destruction bred into their family line, only to be redeemed at the end by a clean break from addiction and pathology.

I’m as vulnerable as anyone to the toxicity of the American nuclear family. But I wouldn’t call it disease or moral failure as much as I would point the finger at a class system that grinds people down like a metal file. Who doesn’t need a drink? Who isn’t going to crack and lash out at the people they love? I have a lot of sympathy for the dark places in my family history, while at the same time repeating my mantra, “This can’t go on.”

I came of age and became a sexual adult at the moment that women—in jeans and no bras, of course—were taking to the streets. Sexual liberation and feminism were identical to my best friends in high school. As I entered my twenties and feminists began to disown one another over sexual expression, it reminded me all too well of what I went though in the labor movement, civil rights, the Left—“let the weak fight among themselves.” Radical feminists didn’t need FBI infiltration—the mechanism for sisterly cannibalization was already well under way.

When I was first involved in politics, it was part of our group ethos not to proclaim our names and so-called talent all over the map—it went against our sense of the collective. When people ask me how I became a professional writer, I couldn’t give them a “climb-the-ladder” scenario, because I went out my way to be part of a group. Everyone was supposed to know how to write, talk, run a web press, unclog a toilet, stage a demonstration.

I saw a news article today by a corporate headhunter who said he liked to get under his applicants’ skin by asking them how, exactly, they were most misunderstood. What an endearing literary question!

It was a good interrogation to ask myself, midmemoir. What do people think about me that is off base? And how do I gauge this misperception?

Most people unfamiliar with my work imagine that anyone with the youthful nickname of “Susie Sexpert” must be an adolescent airhead, a happy but too-dim nympho, someone who set out to shock her strict parents—or, alternatively, was raised in a den of hedonists.

They also think, along the “dumb blond” trajectory, that I just haven’t thought things through, about where sexual liberation might lead—how a female Narcissus could drown in a pool of clitoral self-absorption and drag unfortunate others with her.

I would say, for one, I have never swung from a chandelier, but I would like to try before I die. I haven't set any records in sexual feats or numbers—far from it. I was motivated, always, from the sting of social injustice—the cry of “That isn’t fair!” gets a lot more impulsive behavior from me than, “I want to get off.”

My parents were far more radical than I am, because of basic changes in their generation: My mother didn’t die in childbirth. She went to college. My parents married even though they weren’t of the same religion. They divorced—before that became the American way of life. My father’s ashes can be found in a Native burial ground instead of a WASP family plot. They strayed so much further than I did from their immediate ancestors. They were better educated than I, but I have had a bigger mouth. I don’t know who to blame for that.

The other side of my character, the one that isn’t the “Sí, se puede” version of Auntie Mame, is exemplified by loss, constant and too-early. I’m more preoccupied with people dying than people coming.

In the world of sexual risk and revolutionary politics, a lot of voyagers die before their time. Evangelist Jerry Falwell famously preached at feminists, queers, and integrationists that all their fatal problems—their assassinations and plagues—were retribution from an angry God, who wanted people to keep their legs crossed, accept the minimum wage, and drink at the “colored fountain.”

I don’t believe in God or retribution, but I accept that there are consequences from pushing, hard. Pioneers don’t look good on an actuarial table. Sex radicals tend to be excellent at hospice care, at the rites of the dying, at memories that leave legacies.

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Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Seal Press; 1st edition (March 22, 2011)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 328 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1580052649
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1580052641
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.13 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 1.06 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #2,660,813 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #3,317 in LGBTQ+ Biographies (Books)
- #6,021 in Feminist Theory (Books)
- #12,456 in Love & Romance (Books)

Customer Reviews:
62 ratings

About the author

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Susie Bright

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I'm an author, editor, publisher, performer, sex and culture critic.

I'm Editor-at-Large at Audible, acquiring and producing audiobooks from favorite titles on my bookshelf.

I live in Santa Cruz, CA.

My blog is: http://susiebright.com

My weekly show on Audible:

"In Bed With Susie Bright": http://www.audible.com/susiebright

Customer reviews

5 star		54%
4 star		19%
3 star		8%
2 star		11%
1 star		8%

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Dan Nicholas

Big Mom, Little Daughter

Reviewed in the United States on April 6, 2011

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It's not often you read a memoir where more than half the book has rolled by and the author has not yet reached the ripe old age of 17. Indeed, 3/4ths of Big Sex Little Death has pinballed down Bright's Lombard Street life before college reaches 2nd gear. This is Susie Bright. The sex, the love of art and truth, the self discovery, the justice and family thing--it's all on fire here in a delightfully naughty history lesson. Yet the guns and the blood in her tale, even the bullhorn drone and the human seed running down her teenage leg and life remain eclipsed by her passion for the simple call of truth telling.

Yes, and the mom thing. Her station as daughter and mom in this life continues to set her apart as a thinker and writer in the realm of sexual politics and publishing. Among sex talkers and writers aplenty these day she's one of a handful who have braved motherhood and lived to tell the sex part of the story openly.

I found her childhood account uncommon only in the severity with which she embraced it all, finding a way to survive with a heart childlike and open. Indeed, I was surprised to learn that it was her success with thin skin poetry that opened the first door for her in publishing. A great encouragement here for young writers. Yet the mom thing will always define Susie Bright for me. It's how she sees herself to this day. Having one, being one. She's a true traditional untraditionalist. We listen to her because she lives where we all have lived as sons and daughters. But she does it all never selling out her eroticism from youth to middle age.

Perhaps the funniest part of this hardbound book is its color: black and white. A little joke no doubt. If a world abides anywhere in the universe as black and white, it's no place where this woman lives. She's always been every ounce nuance, every bit color and question mark. Even when she pontificates away I read her as one open to ideas and a possible new way yet of looking at things.

But having a daughter remains the key kernel of madness in her art and life for me I think. Maybe because I've one too, near in age. Also, as politically incorrect as it might be in her field as sexpert and lesbian pioneer she does not hide that it was the positive masculine input of her father, Bill Bright, that remains an anchor for this literary storm we call Susie. Oh, and for heaven's sake, this out-there lesbian trail blazer woman has a long time serious male friend, Jon, an "all but married" life partner relationship no less. She never apologizes. She just loves.

However full and fantastic this tale of her youth, I still get that this erotic literary nut tree woman is never going to stray far from her Irish Catholic roots. It's an underground current that nourishes her writing and sex and commitment to motherhood. I'm sure she knows this. Again, there's a nun somewhere to be sent flowers for this.

What stood out for me in BSLD is how she kept reinventing herself; and how chance and circumstance played a big part. She never seemed to let bitterness whack her down for even a whole day. Raised by a whack job mom who tried to undue her, she loves. In family, in business, in the world of friends, she is betrayed. All these players bring Judas to her again and again yet she harbors no bitter seed, just that platonic Susannahism where wonder remains the beginning of all wisdom and philosophy. No doubt Big Sex Little Death is just Part One of the Susie wonder woman tale. This woman can sure tell a story. I await Part Two.

11 people found this helpful

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Cat B.

Women Adventurers

Reviewed in the United States on May 13, 2011

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One of my favorite things about "Big Sex Little Death" occurs before the prose: in the section of Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data, one of the categories for this book is, "6. Women Adventurers." YES! This book is an adventure. One I couldn't put down!

Susie Bright's memoir is now one of the books I keep handy on my shelf to pick up and peruse when I need inspiration. Why? Because Susie, like one of the people she writes about, is " . . . in favor of living."

Beyond that, I find it hard to focus my review because there is so MUCH in "Big Sex Little Death." I enjoy the way Susie admits to having had a tendency to apologize for everything, yet the book is written in an unapologetic tone.

Other thoughts I had while reading this book: I wish I had a mother like Susie. The part where the woman from Sacramento takes Susie up on the offer to be photographed for "On Our Backs" in her "best pantsuit or sweater set" gave me goose bumps. I hope someday she will write another memoir.

4 people found this helpful

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S Doane

A Roller Coaster Ride

Reviewed in the United States on March 16, 2011

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I just finished reading Susie Bright's memoir & loved it. With all her ups & downs, I felt like I had been on an emotional roller coaster ride. Her sense of adventure & wit shine through even the most difficult chapters. I met Susie in the late 1970's after she returned to the Los Angeles area & was attending Long Beach State. I had briefly been a member of IS & we were on the same side of the split. As a mostly stay at home mother of small children at the time, the all out effort to get into industry did not appeal to me at all. I enjoyed recognizing some of the name changed composite people. The book ends when Susie moved to Santa Cruz with her daughter & partner Jon to teach at the University of California Santa Cruz. Many years & adventures have happened to her since, so I am looking forward to volumne II of Susie's memoirs.

2 people found this helpful

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A. Whitney

Think you know Susie Bright? Read this now.

Reviewed in the United States on December 4, 2012

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Susie Bright is known throughout the world for her writing, her politics, her opinions, and her expertise on sexuality. When I heard she was working on her memoir I was excited because I wanted to know how she got here from there; how she started more or less like all of us do as kids born to parents in this world, yet came to be so passionate, so aware, so active in life. This book tells the story of her life, which is like five regular lives rolled into one. If I didn't know it was true, I might find it almost too fantastic. Highly recommended.

2 people found this helpful

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Angela

I've wanted to learn more about this era

Reviewed in the United States on November 19, 2013

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Not as sexy as the title implies (though she is frank about her sexual experiences) but she's lived an interesting life and has had experiences worth reading about. I half feel like I lived it with her after reading this.

One person found this helpful

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KerryO

Great read! Well written and very entertaining.

Reviewed in the United States on November 14, 2012

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Thought that this book was extremely well written and entertaining. I am drawn to memoirs for some reason, and the honesty and humor that Susie used was refreshing. Highly recommended. :)

2 people found this helpful

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Doc Steve

Five Stars

Reviewed in the United States on October 19, 2015

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Great read of SF during the Hippie days, and beyond.

One person found this helpful

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Kindle Customer

Only OK

Reviewed in the United States on May 31, 2011

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As much as I admire Susie Bright, I really wasn't that impressed by this book. I wish she'd spent more time on each stage of her life and not just given us the surface view. I still don't know what she's like as a real person and the book was just too light.

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M. D.

Misleading

Reviewed in Canada on August 29, 2013

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This memoir isn't as much about Susie the sex radical or Susie Sexpert as it is a memoir about Susie the teenager, Susie idealistic but naive marxist.
Susie bright is a bit before my time. I'd only heard of her throught others. I'm a sex geek (and a ex-socialist turned libertarian). I wanted to learn about life being an old-time sex radical & sex advice columnist. I still don't know much of anything important about her.

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Big Sex Little Death: A Memoir Hardcover – March 22, 2011

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Susie Bright

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